If you think about it, nobody really taught you how to kiss, much less, be a good kisser. It’s all through experience and “instinct”. I remember my first kiss. I was sixteen with zero kissing skills. We were lying on the grass during a cloudless night, admiring the moon and the stars. I know it’s hard to believe but it was such a romantic evening. That’s also why I knew it was the right moment to kiss. It was just a peck on the lips, but it was still perfect for the both of us.
Believe it or not, a kiss can make or break a relationship. 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women have ended a relationship because someone was a bad kisser. And I know I’m not good with math, but the statistics show that a bad kiss is detrimental to a relationship. So, if I were you, I’d read carefully and learn how to improve my kissing skills and be a good kisser!
Prepping for the kiss
Oral hygiene is a must.
Studies have shown that there are as much as 10 million to 1 billion bacteria getting swapped around when people kiss. Eewww…That’s disgusting, right? So, make sure to brush, floss and mouthwash your way to a kiss. I mean not just when you’re up for a kiss, OBVIOUSLY. Don’t underestimate the power of good oral hygiene because aside from all that bacteria, who’d wanna kiss someone with bad breath? A fresh breath is always a plus. In fact, research has shown that women really care a lot about oral hygiene more than men. A man’s breath and the taste of his kiss are important in determining whether they want to kiss them again. Women also prefer a good set of pearly whites. So, make sure to maintain good oral hygiene. Always. You don’t want to leave a bad taste (literally) in her mouth, amirite?
Moisturize your lips.
I once kissed a girl with jelly-like lips and I tell you it’s AMAZING. That is why until this day I tell people of that kiss and her soft lips. Good lip care is essential to good kissing skills. Having great, luscious lips really lay the makings of a good kisser. So, leave a great impression by having irresistibly soft and succulent lips. Lip balm is for everyone! Nourish those lips with moisture to make them as delicate and soft as possible. You can even try a flavored lip balm to add a delicious taste to your kiss.
Prepare mints just in case.
As I’ve said, bad breath is a major no-no. You can have the kissing skills but if you have an awful smell in your mouth, it’s still a turn-off. If you think that you might be scoring a kiss on a date then avoid garlic, raw onions, excessive coffee and most definitely, don’t smoke. Some people are turned on by these smells but as a general rule, have a good fresh breath always. Yes, sometimes a kiss isn’t planned, but you can always prep for it so always have mints or candies, just in case. You never know when a kiss gonna happen, so it won’t hurt to pack up a bit.
Set the environment.
Like always, timing is important. The setting and the environment can affect the quality of your kiss. If your partner is stressed or when you’re in off-putting situation, then you’re less likely to enjoy a kiss. can cause the hormone cortisol to be released in the body, which inhibits the ability to enjoy a kiss. So, if your partner is tensed, you might wanna ease him/her up a bit first. Kiss your partner under calm and happy circumstances.
During the kiss
Tilt your head
Now you’re ready and you think the moment is perfect, take a step closer and lean in for the kiss. To add a romantic touch, why not try touching your partner’s face or brushing their hair first before you go for it. Watch closely as you lean in to know whether to tilt your head to the left or to the right. Always move your head in the opposite direction to your partner’s. Nose fencing is never a smooth move. You can’t show off your kissing skills if you start off awkwardly. Don’t stare too intensely as you might freak out your partner. Just subtly check where they are tilting their head point your lips and chin forward to avoid banging your foreheads together.
There are other erogenous zones.
You might be thinking, “but I’m only here for the lip kissing!” No, honey. Nu-uh. To be a good kisser, you must also think about the WHOLE picture. Yes, the lips are full of nerves that will generate all sorts of tingling sensations. But they’re not the only erogenous zones you might wanna hit on. A great makeout session is spent not only in the lips but on areas like the neck and earlobes.
Mirror your partner’s movements
Kissing is a way to determine one’s compatibility with another. You’re likely to be considered a potential mate if you give a good kiss. So, it doesn’t hurt to pay attention. To make sure that you’re giving a kiss that your partner likes, mirror their way.
Kissing is about compromise. If you notice that they have a different kissing way then follow their lead. But if you know that you can take your make out sesh to a new level with your techniques then, by all means, don’t hesitate to take the reins. But as much as possible, try to match their tempo, pressure, and style. Don’t give the full tongue when they just want the lip. Some are into lippy kisses, others like it wild and wet with more tongue. So, stay tuned to your partner’s movements. If you’re an attentive kissing partner, then it may suggest that you’re a highly considerate and compatible person to be with. That’s going to be a huge plus for you.
Go big or go home. That’s the same way in kissing. It’s either you give it everything you got or you don’t do it at all. Nothing good ever comes out of half-assed efforts. So to be a good kisser, be passionate and stay in the moment. You shouldn’t be thinking about anyone or anything else. What should matter most is you and your partner. You won’t appreciate the full experience if you let yourself think about other things. Pull your partner close to you. Make your arms wander and flow naturally on their face or lower back. Brush through their hair. Just go for it.
Close Your Eyes
Closing your eyes isn’t just for the extra romance or because you’re scared. Close your eyes to heighten your other senses. When you block out one sense, all the other senses become more intense. So you feel your partner’s breathing or their hands all over you. Also, it’s extremely alarming if you keep your eyes open when you’re REALLY close to somebody’s face. Imagine opening your eyes and finding out your partner was just staring at you the whole time. It will be very creepy and strange. It can automatically kill the romantic vibe you have going. So, close your eyes. I know it can be too nerve-wracking sometimes that you’ll end up forgetting to close your eyes. But you need to relax. Let go of all the inhibitions you might have. Stop overthinking. Just close your eyes and enjoy the moment.
After the kiss
Honesty is the Best Policy
A good kisser is an honest kisser. If the kiss didn’t go well for you, do the right thing and be honest about it. Don’t be afraid of speaking out and telling your partner the truth. The nicety of the lie won’t improve the kissing skill of your partner so better be upfront and suggest that you two try again. It will be a learning experience for both of you.
Give Positive Feedback To Each Other
Yes, you have to be honest but you also have to tell them what they did well on their kiss. Maybe you liked the way he pulled you closer or the way he bit your lower lip. Just as much as you tell them what they need to improve on, you also need to butter up the cake by telling them all the things they did right.
Comparing is a grave sin to your partner.
Never, ever compare your partners’ kissing skills with your exes! That’s a grave and mortal sin. How would you feel if you’re the one being compared to her model boyfriend with the perfect lips? You’re not a bad person if you do compare but it is very rude and unfair to compare two people who have different techniques in kissing. We all do things differently. Kissing can be very subjective. He might like lip biting a lot and you don’t. But that doesn’t mean that he’s bad at kissing compared to your non-lip biting ex. So if you want, you can just suggest things to him but don’t compare.
As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. To be a good kisser, you have to keep trying and practicing. So have regular makeout sessions. Studies have shown that couples who kiss more often are happier and healthier. It lowers stress hormones and it might even extend your life. It’s not only fun. It’s also good for mental and physical health. Do you know that kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute? So it does not only strengthen your relationship. It’s also good for removing those unwanted fats.
As much as the thought of it is exciting, kissing can also be overwhelming. You might get scared at the thought of disappointing your partner. But don’t let that rule you over. Be confident in yourself. Relax and stay calm. Trust in your kissing abilities. Confidence is very attractive so you’ll feel like yourself if you just let loose rather than overthinking. Don’t let those thoughts get you down. I know it takes a bit of bravery to put yourself out there. So, do it. We all just want to feel loved and hugged. We all want to be kissed by someone we hold dear. So, gather as much bravery as you can. Get that kiss.