If you’ve read Paulo Coelho’s book “Eleven Minutes”, it says there that the act of sex only takes eleven minutes. And if you think that’s short enough, the real stats are even more depressing. The average sex session is 5-7 minutes. However, 50% of guys last less than 2 minutes. And when you give guys some anonymity, they admit it. Some guys last in bed for only 1-2 minutes.
That’s a huge problem.
Imagine 1-2 minutes? I brush my teeth longer than that. But I wouldn’t say I’m surprised at all. Once, I had sex with a guy who only lasted for five seconds. There’s also once a guy friend of mine who confessed he was done the moment he entered his dick. I hope I can say I’m kidding but I’m not. These are tragic real-life stories.
Don’t get me wrong. Quickies are great. But you know. Not that quick. And not all the time. Sex is one of the most important bonding factors for couples. Every woman wants to be involved in a sex that gets her screaming for more. Nobody wants a “five-second man”. But it happens. It’s more common than what we’d like to think.
This is a real issue. Not lasting longer in bed can trigger fights and insecurities. It can ruin a relationship because sexual satisfaction is a big part of it. It can cause couples to just part ways when their needs aren’t met.
Before the worst happens, let me tell you, we’re here for you. We have tips and ways on how you can last longer in bed and satisfy your woman.
Tips on how you can last in bed
Try Kegel exercises.
If you think Kegels are only for women then you’re wrong. Kegel exercises are also for men. Since it’s about strengthening the pelvic muscles, it helps in controlling ejaculation. Pelvic muscles are the muscles used when you stop your mid-flow when urinating. That same squeeze/contraction that you feel is something that you can also do to stop yourself when you’re about to come. Once you have a feel for how to expand and contract your pelvic muscles, tighten and hold for a count of 10, then release. Practice in sets of 10. Once you get the hang of controlling your pelvic muscles you will be able to control your ejaculation and last longer in bed.
Change your masturbating habits.
Delay your orgasm while masturbating. Yup, I know. This can be hard but it’s not impossible. It’s also one of the most effective ways to train yourself to last longer in bed. Basically, you bring yourself to the edge of orgasm and stop. Then, you start again and do the process again. I know it sounds like torture but it will definitely help you give your woman the pleasure she deserves.
It’s very simple to do. You can use a stopwatch or a timer since you’re a beginner. Set it to 10 or 20 minutes. Practicing this technique can help you teach your body and brain to control your orgasm and make sex last longer. Just be sure to use a lot of lotion or lube while practicing to avoid chafing.
Masturbate before sex.
Aside from delaying your orgasm during masturbation, try masturbating one to two hours before sex. This will help delay your ejaculation. Going to the “main event” without masturbating is like going with a “fully-loaded gun.” As such, masturbate beforehand so that you can match her level and build up arousal again. If you already finished before going at it again, you can better pace yourself and sync up with your partner’s rhythm. So masturbate before you celebrate. Pop it before you drop it in.
Similar to your practice in masturbation but this time you do it with your partner. This is one of the most common techniques to avoid premature ejaculation. Again, you just need to stop yourself when you know you’re about to come. Stop the sexual activity until you have your excitement under control.
This method is very classic, and couples do it all the time. Aside from helping control ejaculation, it also makes your orgasms more intense. Doing this regularly will enable you to last longer in bed and have better sex.
Change your sex positions
Unfortunately, sex positions contribute to how fast or how slow you come. Certain sex positions make guys ejaculate faster because of their high level of depth and pleasure. For example, these sex positions are so good, you won’t last that long in bed:
- The missionary position
- Any position from behind like doggy style
- Most standing positions
I’m not saying you can’t incorporate these sex positions in your bedroom romance, but maybe try to minimize the usage when you want to stay longer. As much as it’s hard to believe, good sex positions are also positions that promote slower and shallower movements. These are sex positions that can make you last longer in bed:
- The cowgirl – also known as the “Girl on Top” your partner sits on top of you riding you in a rhythm she likes.
- The reverse cowgirl – also like “Girl on Top” but she’s facing away from you so you see her back.
- Spooning – your partner lies to her side and you go in from behind her.
- Side by side facing each other – both of you lying on the bed, with legs intertwined.
- Sitting on the bed or in a chair –again your partner will be the one on top controlling the penetration.
With these sex positions, you can control your ejaculation and also relax more. You’re basically just going to let your partner take control of the pace of your sex.
Switch it up.
Instead of insisting on your favorite position and pounding away like a jackrabbit, try alternating between sex positions. Introducing new sex positions means you have to hit pause for a while before you continue your trip to the finish line. This pause, no matter how short, helps you in controlling your ejaculation.
Changing sex positions reduces your arousal when you want to climax. Try alternating between positions that can make you come faster and those that will slow it down. Switching up your sex positions can make you last longer in bed.
Have sex regularly.
As they say, practice makes perfect. Whether you are currently active in sex or have been for many years, having sex often can make you last longer in bed. Think of it the same way you’d go to a gym to get stronger. Think of having sex as you going to the gym. Only this time, you’re training for sexual endurance. Obviously, it’s not always easy to make sex happen all the time. Maybe you’re in an LDR or the two of you are busy with your own personal lives. Still, try to communicate it with your partner. If it can be of help then maybe you can try it out to resolve your issue of premature ejaculation.
Practice your breathing patterns.
When you notice that you’re breathing very fast, it means you’re about to release the Kraken. You’re very much aroused and your load is about to blow. To help with this, reduce your sexual arousal by breathing in slowly. Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds, hold it in for 4 seconds then breathe out for 4 seconds. Practicing your breathing patterns can help you relax and make you last longer in bed.
Incorporate sex toys in your play.
You don’t have to use your dick all the time. It may surprise you but most women don’t get off on penetration alone. Try using sex toys in your play. This way you can stimulate your partner first and get her nearer to climax. Try using a cock ring. This helps you last longer as cock rings work by restricting the blood flow into the shaft of the penis. Aside from this, there are cock rings that vibrate so you not only maintain a stronger erection, you can also stimulate your partner as well. Or maybe try this tip: if you feel like you’re about to come, then tap out first and use a vibrator on her. Then when you think she’s also about to come, put your dick again and reach the finish line together.
Wear a condom.
As much as raw dick feels good, wearing a condom can help slow down your orgasm. Unprotected sex is good but making your lady come is better. Condoms won’t only protect you from unwanted pregnancy, it can dampen your sensitivity level and make you last longer in bed. I heard some people even try to wear two condoms to help them control their ejaculation. Don’t do this though. Those condoms will just rub into each other and break. Just buy an extra thick condom if you want to try it out. This is safer and will stop you from coming quickly.
Spend time on foreplay with your partner. Men can always come easily but ladies are more complicated than that. This tip is very important because the more foreplay you spend with her, the better. Think of it as balancing your levels. You have to in the same level as hers and sync in. If you stimulate her first then she will be nearer and nearer to her climax. That means she will come close to your level of arousal. When she’s stimulated enough then maybe you can both come at the same time. It’s also good if she comes first. That way the sexual pressure will be off you and you can come in peace (see what I did there?)
Consider talking to a doctor.
If you believe you’ve done everything in your power to last longer, then you can consider talking to a doctor next. There’s no need to be embarrassed about it. There might be a psychological or biological cause behind your premature ejaculation. As such to resolve it once and for all, try to seek the help of a professional.
Premature ejaculation is a common problem. You don’t have to feel embarrassed about it. The more important thing is for you to keep an open mind and be ready to try different things. Not all the tips here will work on you and that’s okay. Try other things. Just make sure to put an effort into resolving the problem to help your relationship. The more methods you practice, the more you will improve your sexual stamina to last long in bed.