Alright, so we’re just going to assume you’re a new sub. You’re a newbie to this whole BDSM lifestyle that’s why you’re here right now reading how you can please your dom. For a beginner, you’re doing well. Kudos to you for doing your homework. The bond that a Dominant and submissive has, isn’t like your ordinary relationship after all. It needs more digging into.
There’s way too many misconceptions surrounding BDSM that needs clearing up. Take for example the popular belief that BDSM relationships involve violence and abuse. This isn’t true at all. It’s a false belief that’s been harming the BDSM community for too long. This flawed information needs to fade away soon. The truth is, BDSM relationships involve a lot of trust and mutual consent from both partners. The Dom and the sub just want to create a place of safety where they can both let go of this society’s standards. They just want to be their dominant or submissive selves without any danger of being judged or abused.
How to Please your Dom
For a sub, finding someone who wants to share that special experience with you isn’t easy. There are a lot of people out there who pretend to be Dominants when they are in fact just out to abuse someone. So if you’ve finally found a Master worthy of your servitude, you want to play your role well, and please him in any way you can.
Researching how to serve him with the best quality is one way to show commitment to your Dom. You’re off to a good start and already on the right track to being an exceptional submissive. We’re of course willing to steer you further towards pleasing your Dom. So buckle up your seat belts. Or in this case, tighten your restraints, because you’re about to learn how to please your dom.
Call your Dom “Sir” or “Master”
A name holds power. Calling your Dom “Master”, or “Sir” or whatever name your Dom insists upon is already an act in itself that shows you’re submitting to his demands. A Dom gets off knowing that he has someone who looks up to him for guidance. You are his little pet. You are his to care for, his to command, his to punish, and his to reward. Every time you address him properly, you remind him of the hold he has in you. And nothing pleases your Dom more than to hear his submissive give him her full attention and respect.
Know your Dominant by heart
Just as your Dom needs to learn about your limits and turn-ons, you as the sub, need to reciprocate that. Get to know your dom. Gather as much information as possible. What are his likes and dislikes? Does he prefer you stand by his side with your head bowed down or does he prefer seeing you down on your knees? Does he like the sound of your screams or does he prefer hearing the sound of your whimpers? Even tiny details like how he wants his coffee, what his favorite color is, and what time he leaves for work, can be of value to you as his sub. It’s a lot easier to please your Dom when you’re actually aware of the things that please him.
Anticipate your Dom’s next move
If you know your Master well enough, you’re going to be conscious of his little quirks and learn to anticipate his next move. Without him telling you, you already know that he wants you to turn on the TV, and switch to his favorite channel. Or that you have to wait for him to finish eating before you start with your food. Or that you’re not allowed to speak until he’s given you permission. This level of compatibility with your Master takes time to develop. But when you do reach this point, it’s when you truly embrace the joys of relinquishing power over to someone and being of service to him.
When in doubt, ask for permission
No matter how good you are at anticipating his next move, there’s always going to be a limit to that. You’re not a mind-reader so whenever you’re in doubt of what you’re supposed to do next, ask your Master what he wants you to do. Do you get home and immediately go upstairs to strip? Or do you leave your clothes at your front door? Can you sit on his lap while he reads you a bedtime story? Are you allowed to masturbate while he’s away? Or are you only allowed to do it when he gets back? Voice out your questions but do so in a respectful manner. Don’t forget you need to address him properly.
It’s different for every couple, but some practice BDSM 24/7. Some have an allotted time for their BDSM play scenes. For couples who do it throughout the day, constantly asking for permission on everything that you can do can be hard to keep up with. It’s better if you can create a set up with your Dom where the boundaries are clearly established.
Learn to read his mood
There are also going to be times when he wants to keep his silence. You have to be really observant to learn when your Dom is in that mood. It’s a bit frustrating for you as a sub because you want attention from your master. Whether it’s him giving you mundane tasks or checking up on you if you’re following his rules. But you need to take into consideration that your Master needs his space every now and then.
A good master though knows never to leave his sub for too long. He’s not going to let you feel like he’s abandoned you. And more often than not, whenever he’s in one of his quiet moods, he’s going to want you close to him. Close but quiet. And if that’s what he wants you to do, stay beside him. Offer him your comforting presence, and patiently wait for his next command.
Express your submission in words.
Learn to talk the talk. It’s not enough that you’re addressing him with “Master” or “Sir”. You have to show your true devotion to your Dom by using words like “Please, Master”, or “I’m begging you, Sir”, if there’s something you want your Dom to do for you. It’s never a guarantee that your Dom is going to give you what you asked for just because you’re being polite. But it doesn’t hurt to try. And besides, as a sub, the torture of being denied of something by your Dom is pleasurable in itself.
When your Dom does give in and reward you for being such a good slave, you have to show you’re grateful by saying, “Thank you, Master”. Always show your Dom that you appreciate what he does for you. He may be in charge and enjoys having you at his mercy, but he gains his pleasure knowing that his slave is enjoying the reward or the torture he’s dishing out.
Another way of using words to express your complete submission to your Dom is by saying something along the lines of “I’m here to serve you, Master” or “What’s your next command, Sir?”. You’re letting your Dom know that you’re always ready for whatever he wants you to do and you’re not just ready, but you’re also eager to serve him.
Accept your punishment and relish in it.
Your Master creates the rules and you are to follow every single one of them. Failure to do so results in some form of punishment. This is how a Dom disciplines his sub. There are many forms of punishments that your Dom can try. It can be through impact play, where the Master hits the sub’s body with an object. It can also be by tease and denial play, where the Master teases the sub close to orgasm but never letting her finish. Or maybe it can be is through tickle play where the Master stimulates the ticklish parts of the sub. Your Dom takes pleasure in inflicting pain on you but he’s also aware that you’re getting pleasure for every punishment he gives. Let him hear your sounds of agony—both from pain and pleasure, amplifies the satisfaction your Dom receives.
Sometimes a sub acts out just to get attention from her Master. A slight power struggle can make for some great fun spanking but your Dom expects you to be obedient. He’s not going to be pleased at all if you keep trying to get his attention by constantly doing the exact opposite of what he said. If you want your Dom’s attention, follow his rules and you’re going to be rewarded for it.
Pleasing your Dominant is your main goal as a sub. Keep in mind that you want to give your true submission to your Dom because pleasing him pleases you too. If you’re worried that the stuff mentioned here is too advanced for you, you can go slow. It’s totally up to the two of you how much control you’re willing to relinquish and how much the Dominant is willing to take responsibility for. Follow all the tips mentioned here, tweak them to your situation. Before you know it, you’re going to have your Dom’s complete approval. Be rewarded for being such a hardworking slave.