Looking for ways to successfully forget someone? Feeling like you can’t handle any more of that heartache? Doesn’t really matter whether it was a bad or clean break up, they’re both pretty shitty.
As much as we wanna tell you to cheer up, we all know that’s easier said than done. We’ve all had a time where we had to cut someone off out of our lives, so we totally understand that it’s no walk in the park (more like a Jurassic Park). It’s especially hard when you convinced yourself he’s The One. That person left a hole in your heart and you just can’t seem to shake it off. You’re losing sleep, you can barely eat, and you burst into tears when just about anything reminds you of that person. It’s a total nightmare.
They say healing takes time, but time seems to fly by so fucking slow when you’re suffering. If you can just find a way to speed up the healing process, anything really that can ease the pain of your loss, you’re going to grab hold of it and take it like a damn champ.
We’re not promising you that we’ve got all the answers. But what we can do is share with you just a few ways that helped us get through those agonizing moments of our lives. It worked for us, and it may or may not work for you. But let’s face it. At this point, you’re just about ready to try anything just to learn how to forget and move on.
You need your closure
It’s hard to end things when you’re not really sure where you stand. Are the two of you over or just taking a cool off? If it happened through text, chances are, you’re still hung up about it. The only way to settle this is by actually meeting and ending things in person. The breakup conversation may feel like you’re being stabbed but at the very least, you come out of it with a clean cut. And if that person refuses to end things with you personally, or he just outright ghosted you, then you really don’t deserve this person because he’s a piece of shit. You dodged a bullet by actually getting rid of him in your life.
Remember: No closure is also a closure. Don’t stay stuck just because you need closure. Some relationships don’t have that. And that’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. Deal with it. Move on.
Followed by acceptance
To learn how to forget someone, you must begin with acceptance. Yup, it starts from accepting the fact that you’re no longer together. Denying can only lead to more unwanted hoping on your part. You keep replaying the scene where the fall out happened, looking for things you could have said or done to change the outcome. “If only I…” That’s that line that keeps crossing your mind and it haunts you every damn time. Once you wake up from that cold harsh reality, it won’t get any easier, but it can help in mentally making yourself strong. The emotional part may be the one you’re going to struggle with more, but as they say, healing starts from the mind.
You have to let it go
You don’t stop by just accepting the facts. Once you wrap your head around the situation, it’s time for you to let go of your emotional attachments. Understand that there are no mending things between the two of you. It’s over and time to let go. Severe your ties with him and set your mind and heart free. Trust us, you’re going to feel so much lighter.
Don’t keep souvenirs
Don’t be into self-torture. If you already know that the bracelet you’re wearing was a gift from him on your birthday and you can’t help but bawl your eyes out whenever you look at it, then do yourself a favor. Get rid of that damn thing your wrist. Give it back to him, or donate it to charity. Burn it to ashes. I don’t care. Get. Rid. Of. It.
Check your bedroom. Anything else there that’s making you think of him? Throw it out. “To the left, to the left,” as Beyonce puts it. You can’t learn how to forget if you keep remembering him with all those things. You’re not only doing this because it can reduce the triggers in recalling your times with the said person. But by physically tossing out things that once held special meaning for you and him, you’re pushing the eject button on your subconscious and kicking that guy out of your heart and mind.
Block them from your social media accounts
You’ve already ex-proofed your room, so you may also want to do the same for your internet-verse. You don’t want to see pictures of your ex spread out on your screen. You especially don’t want to check his stories on Snap. That’s the last thing you want to do. Blocking him from your Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat isn’t a petty move. And even if everyone else thinks it is, who cares anyway. Forget what anyone else says. Prioritize yourself, girl.
If having an ex-free social media is what helps in getting over him, so be it. And besides, you also avoid the temptation of overdoing things on social media, like say, posting pictures of you having a blast and with some other guy, just to prove your ex that you’re doing well without him. You’re letting him control your actions and he doesn’t even need to lift a finger. Don’t bother. Keep moving forward.
Don’t answer his calls
Dua Lipa already said it, “Don’t pick up the phone, you know he’s only calling ‘cuz he’s drunk and alone.” That’s some pretty solid advice right there. Even if he’s sober, we still suggest you cancel that call right now. Your goal is to forget him, and that’s kinda hard to do when you keep talking to him. If you truly want to get a move on with your life without him in it, you need to give yourself the time and space to get used to living without his presence.
Stop talking about him
The more you talk about him, the more he gets to you. How can you learn how to forget and move on if he’s all that you ever talk about?
Sure, it’s okay to talk about him with your friends and how much you’re hurting. What’s not normal is when you’re doing it every damn time. How do you know if you’ve reached a point of “too much”? Look at your friends’ expressions. Do they look bored to you? Are they checking their phone while you tell them about how the two of you used to listen to the same music? Are they quick to change topics whenever you drop his name? If they are, then honey, you’ve been excessively talking about him that even your closest friends don’t even want to stay around for that ex talk again.
Treat yourself to something nice
Being heartbroken takes a toll on you so you’re probably not looking like your best self. Sometimes, the best way to forget is to remember yourself. Treat yourself to something nice to get back your glow. Why not visit your favorite salon and get a new haircut? A mani and pedi? A massage or a facial? Buy those shoes you’ve been dying to get your hands (er, feet?) on to. You can be hurting on the inside, but at least you’re doing it in style. And hey, if you look good, feeling good comes much easier.
Meet new people and engage in different activities
Sulking and staying at home isn’t going to help you forget at all. The more alone time you have, the more likely you’re gonna reminisce about your ex. So go out there! Sign up for new activities. Meet new people, create new bonds and let your ex stay in the past. Out with the old, and in with the new. Attend a Zumba class, or pick up your watercolor brush again. Draw, or write, or sing. To finally move on, you’re gonna need lots of new hobbies and new adventures to put your mind on. You never know, you may just be the next Taylor Swift.
Enjoy the single life
Instead of being miserable over your break up, you can look at it this way. You’re single again and every day you wake up with the chance of meeting that special someone for you. Being single gives you sooo much freedom. You can hit the clubs and party with your girlfriends till 3 am without reporting to anyone. You can dance as sluttily as you like with any guy who catches your attention and it’s no big deal. Heck, you can even bring a guy over to your apartment and no one’s going to call you out for it. Enjoy your freedom, baby.
Take time to retrospect
Take the time to think about what happened with an objective approach. Sure, it’s easy to just play the victim card. But nobody’s perfect. And maybe your relationship failed in the first place because you had your own flaws. Don’t put all the blame on your ex. Look at it from his angle. Were there times when you acted bratty and selfish? Have you said any words to him that may have hurt his feelings? If you can identify your character flaws, you can work on them and grow from it. Depending on how you take it, you can come out of a broken relationship with a more mature mind. Use the experience as a way to become a better person.
Don’t be quick to jump into a new relationship
Yes, we’re talking about rebound. While it’s tempting to have a new man right after a breakup, it may not be the wisest of decisions. If you’re just looking for someone to fill that hole your ex left (we mean the hole in your heart) then you’re just harming yourself and dragging another person into it. There’s a high chance you’re going to keep comparing your new guy to your ex. The result? You end up disappointed as you see all their differences.
Surround yourself with loving friends and family
When you feel out of love, you got friends and family who can give you their undying love. It may be hard to forget but it becomes bearable when you have your loved ones around you. Spend time with your friends and enjoy the laughter they bring. Help your mom with gardening, you know she’s always been asking you to do it with her but you’ve been so busy with your romantic relationships. There’s nothing like the love you receive from friends and family to heal a broken heart.
It’s not going to last forever
When you’re heartbroken, it gets kinda hard to see the silver lining. Everywhere you look just seems to be full of gloom and doom. Just in case you forget, let us remind you that you may be hurting, but recognize the fact that it’s not an eternal kind of pain. You’re battered and wounded now, and you may gain scars for it, but what doesn’t kill you makes you a whole lot stronger. With a good support system and lots of self-care, your pain is slowly going to subside. There’s beauty in looking forward to the future. Before you know it, you’ve finally learned how to forget and move on! Just take each day as it is, and soon, you’re ready to find love again.