Sexual Tension: 25 Sensual Signs Your Bond Has Sparks

Picture yourself in a social setting, wherein either a glance or brush towards a certain person elicits an awkward or exhilarating spark in your body. One that urges you to venture and see where it goes in hopes it’s reciprocated. Gaining such a surge of electricity in your body is usually quiet with suggestive motives, which can only mean one thing: sexual tension.

Explore more about what this bursting attraction means between two people and the signs to watch out for a special someone (or someone you’d least expect).

Defining Sexual Tension

According to Healthline, they defined Sexual Tension as: 

“Your brain decides that you’re attracted to someone in a sexual (versus platonic) way, even if you don’t fully realize it yet.”

Sexual tension also sparks when two individuals sexually crave each other without even touching or encountering each other in such a manner. This is due to a mutual attraction that pulls them together instead of repelling them away. It’s pretty much the build-up before doing the deed. This can happen between you and anyone: a stranger or someone in your circle.

Identifying if there’s sexual tension can be tricky because of multiple reasons. Others vary in expressing their emotions, so their means of flirting may differ from how you count them as flirting. Being called a “flirty” person when you’re socializing with others doesn’t sound nice, negatively implying that you enjoy playing around with people’s desires. However, we’re going to debunk the trickiness of it later on.

Additionally, having sexual tension differs from having a crush. With a crush, you can develop both romantic and sexual desires or merely romantic feelings toward them. Since all the crushes don’t have to be sexual, asexual people can have crushes too. Moving forward, sexual tension is filled with yearning for another person. And with yearning comes excitement, confusion, and frustration to do something about it! This can last from months to years after encountering each other.

Types of Sexual Tension

Even though the majority knows that sexual tension can be a steamy indicator of a possible relationship, it doesn’t generalize every situation. Below are the types of sexual tension.

Positive Sexual Tension – Psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle defined this as experiencing feelings such as anticipation, excitement, motivation, spark, and risk. This kind of tension also creates a strong spark and lust toward another person.

Negative Sexual Tension – From Healthline, they identify as a type rooted in feeling angry, sad, or ashamed over a sexual encounter with someone that hurt you. Or worse, sexual abuse. This is something you must contact the authorities about for your protection.

Signs of Sexual Tension

We’ve all had our fair share of this tension from our school days to social gatherings. But rather than guessing if we’re experiencing that with someone, here are definite signs of sexual tension that’ll keep you on your toes in hopes of your feelings being mutual with them. The positive type, obviously.

1 Your heart flutters…

You would do whatever it takes to see this person, and when you do, you’re beyond cloud 9. Being in their presence always puts you in a giddy, joyful state, as if you’re a teenager again! Forget butterflies; it’s like a whole zoo of flutters going bonkers whenever they’re around you. There’s never dullness with them, and if you have a rather uptight personality, your walls break down just for this one person.

2 … And it races like crazy.

When you’re attracted to someone, hormones like dopamine and oxytocin boost your system. From here, you’d begin to feel more euphoria, increasing your heart rate and blood pressure. Sometimes, you may need to clutch your chest in hopes of controlling yourself. But sometimes, the heart wants what it wants. Or who they want, and they could only be inches away from you.

3 Your body heats up.

When you’re given a chance to converse with them, and perhaps they give you a wholesome compliment, there’s no ignoring the flush in your cheeks. Your palms may also clasp together with sweat from the verbal contact. You can never get used to having their full attention, and being on the spot like that can get our body worked up in flames from so much sensitivity. With that, there’s added reason to continue things like this in private…

4 You tend to feel and act secretive.

Letting people know that you’re feeling some kind of sexual tension with someone isn’t something you can open up about. Even if nothing has occurred yet, you’d prefer to keep your tension to yourself so you can solve it alone. One reason this is so is that it makes you feel shy and perhaps odd to have tension with someone you didn’t expect, fearful of others’ judgment. Another is that you’re protective of this person, alongside the potential and/or risks of a serious relationship. So until you’re sure, your lips are shut.

5 You’ve prolonged eye contact with them.

Perhaps from a far distance or even nearby, your eyes lock with another pair naturally without feeling weird about it. In fact, it makes you comfortable beneath the underlying intentions. Being able to do this is a playful way of subtly flirting with them without using words, and keeping it up also elevates the intimacy between you. This gives you room to explore what exactly lies behind your chemistry.

6 Other people notice your bond.

Sometimes, the public eye can pick up on your motives no matter how discreet you aim to be. Since sexual tension involves attraction, it extends to those outside the intense bond. On most occasions, it’s a good indicator. If they compliment that you and this person look compatible with each other, they can see the sparks just as much as you do and feel.

7 You crave to be near them.

If you’re both in the same venue, you’ll look for a way to cross paths with them. You want to know where they are and follow them, but not in a creepy way. With the proper boundaries, something about their presence elicits joy in you. Then when you encounter each other, rather than getting bashful over it, there’s like this hidden rope that links you together along your pinky finger. That naturally makes you gravitate toward each other within the day or night you’re together.

8 You’ve checked them out.

Let’s be real. Physical attributes matter in our perception of beauty and attraction toward someone. It’s nothing to be ashamed of when there are people who value personality more. Although that is true, being with someone physically attractive to you isn’t any less of value. But that’s deep into the future, so let’s go back into phase one with sexual tension: observation. You’re captivated by their body features, from their eyes, lips, arms, breasts — you know what we mean. It leaves room for imagination when you get time with them all by yourself and how you’d treat them and vice versa.

9 You laugh more around them.

All these emotions building up when you’re around someone you’re attracted to can get your humor button pressed more than normal. Since sexual tension makes you act giddier toward someone, anything they do or say lets a laugh or giggle out of your lips. It can be due to your riling nerves or pure, genuine joy when you’re with them. It’s like the weight on your shoulders gets lighter, making you feel freer to express yourself. Just make sure not to sound fake or let your nerves get the best of you, or your laughs may come off as peculiar; you don’t want to drive the person you’re attracted to away.

10 They lean in closer when you converse with them.

This sign of sexual tension can seriously make your heart stop from all that racing! When they talk to you in-depth, there’s the eager urge to lean in closer so you can hear them better. Simple yet close contact with them will have you gulping and melting on the spot to pay attention to them fully. Bonus points if neither of you sways away from effortless eye contact.

11 Subtle touches rile you up.

Often, unexpected moments are what put your senses haywire. Whether their fingertips graze against yours when they hand you a drink, or their leg brushes yours under the dining table a little longer than usual, sexual tension can rise up from those little yet sneaky moments. The rain eventually builds into a storm with those “small actions”.

12 There’s a shift in the atmosphere when you get close to each other.

Earlier, leaning close to someone already gets your emotions going crazy. When your conversations die down momentarily, there’s that observant silence. It may be confusing or intense as you can’t explain such an atmosphere, getting heavy every second. Yet you can’t turn away because you find it intriguing, up for an adventure. Whatever friendliness you had earlier can be shifted into something sexual. You’d know about that switch if you’re acquainted with this person enough, and it’s up to either of you to approach it.

13 You may have felt insecure about the tension.

Don’t let your imposter syndrome interfere with whether or not you deserve a certain person you like. But don’t overthink either on the bad right away when you’re feeling some sexual tension towards them. If you suddenly feel weird around them, don’t run away from it and inspect exactly how and why this tension came to be. You’ll understand yourself more and unlock something new about yourself. Eventually, you may discover why you feel such a way towards that person, which you can explore further when you decide to do so.

14 The pitch of your voice changes.

Now, this sign of sexual tension is an instant giveaway and scientifically proven even! hen you’re around the person you’re attracted to, you may add more pep and spice into your pitch and tone to sound livelier and perhaps suggestive at the right time. It’s nothing to get conscious over but take a step back on how you speak to your platonic companions compared to a potential partner. You aim to bring excitement with the latter consistently; it makes you more attractive on your end, especially when this is something you can’t tuck away.

15 Smiling around them is irresistible.

Your hormones and chemicals are overworking here! All these positive emotions can curl a smile on your face with whatever they do or say within your presence. Maybe even smirking suggestively when they exchange a double-meaning joke, it’s only a matter of time before someone makes the first move.

16 You’ll catch yourself daydreaming about them.

You can space out from your activities and imagine their possible scenarios. Whether they kiss you for the first time to carry you to the bedroom, there are no limits to how far you’d go with this person. And you’re extra whipped if you’re caught smiling and giggling like a teenager from such sensual thoughts! It’s almost preparing yourself for the real thing rather than viewing it as a delusion.

17 Conversations between you and that person can be awkward.

Perhaps during the earlier stages of sexual tension, when the two of you speak in private, you wouldn’t know what to discuss or control your emotions on the spot. You’d stutter or take sharper inhales whenever you say misleading words, like a completely different person. Meanwhile, you’re having an internal debate on whether you pursue your sexual tension or stop yourself from complicating things. But also, your body is probably too aroused to even have meaningful conversations at this point.

18 … But they can get bold over time.

The more you know this person, the braver you are to say anything to provoke them sexually. You’ll be more playful and tease each other often, wherein the light switches easily from banter to straight-up flirting. Furthermore, teasing is a tactic to get more personal and attentive to each other. From here, you can talk about anything and let the universe decide whether it’s time to be physically sexual.

Another way to be bold to elevate sexual tension is through saying statements that instigate challenge. Perhaps you can say, “I bet you never made out with anyone.” with an eyebrow raised and see how they react to it. There’s thrill in these kinds of statements because you’ll never know how things will go, though be mindful and speak in the right, sexy tone.

19 Physical contact between you two can linger on until someone lets go.

The keyword here is linger, wherein neither of you wants to end your hangout or date. There’s hesitating in saying goodbye to someone you have sexual tension with, so there’s that pause before anything else. Physical contact here can be through a hug or hand-holding. There are certain rules we subconsciously obtain with how long we hold hands or hug someone we see in a platonic sense, so lingering touches have hints of lust and desire.

20 Your thoughts easily shift towards them.

Like daydreaming, you’d associate anything you encounter with this person the longer they stay rent-free in your mind. You can be out shopping, seeing this sweater and remember them wearing a similar print. Or you’re out buying coffee and recall their go-to coffee drunk as your nose takes a whiff of the bitter aroma. You can even unintentionally bring them up in a conversation with your friends and further expose your attraction for this person.

21 The topic of sex makes you shy.

Ironically enough, you’d love to do sexual deeds with them… but in theory, at first. You just knew already that it’d be such a blast. However, it’s a rather specific topic to bring up in person. So if you and someone you like are hanging out with others and they talk about it, it may be a struggle to look each other in the eye. Or even just the two of you, you struggle to discuss it due to how awkward it is. But it’s only a matter of time once you feel comfortable discussing it, then perhaps test the theory and put it into practice.

22 Speaking of sex, you may have dreamt of them in THAT way.

While you’ve daydreamed awake, this person you’re attracted to must’ve visited your slumber. But mostly in a very steamy setting. Although we can’t control who and what we dream of, even our thoughts reflect our dreams, that doesn’t mean we reject those sex dreams that normally play in our heads at night, especially if they’re in it.

23 Arousal rushes through your body when they’re nearby.

As mentioned earlier, our bodies feel warm when the person we like is nearby. And with warmth follows the arousal we feel towards them. In effect, our genitals can either harden or self-lubricate with desire. Because of this, the sexual tension only increases to get our needed release with them. No one likes blue balls or soaked panties when something is left undone.

24 With this person you like, it’s like you’re the only people in the room.

Quite like a rom-com film really, but there’s like this hidden magnetic pull between you and this person. Whether you’re in a public or private space, you’ll only notice and focus on them. It would be easy to put all your efforts into this person to converse and exchange glances at each other. All of this will eventually build up into something beautiful.

25 There comes a time when flirting is effortless.

Once you cross that confusing, awkward border of sexual tension with someone, flirting back and forth won’t be a struggle. You’ll know how to rile each other up and keep up with your energies. Never will you let that side go down because well, you like them and want to engage in flirting. Whether you tug your hair behind your earlobe or maybe wipe a drop of ice cream from on their lips with your thumb, all these actions simply showcase your interest in them. And if they reciprocate it? You’re a winner, baby!

Tips on Handling and Building Sexual Tension

By this time, you’ve observed and felt some of the abovementioned signs. And for most of us, we’re ready to get crazy and bold! But before we can truly make our moves, here are some important tips to remember before going full power on your sexual tension with someone.

1 Evaluate within yourself.

Sexual tension can leave us confused alongside excitement, even with someone we’ve been interested in for a while. With confusion, it gives us questions like:

• How did this occur? 
• What are the risks?
• Why them?
• Do I really like them?
• Should I sleep with them before going crazy?

Before you act on your sexual frustration, answer every question you may have about this tension. You must be certain of yourself before bringing another person into the mix. But also, don’t overthink when you’re in this kind of zone. Exploring something new with someone can be frightening, whether it’s your first time or not, so don’t let your nerves get the best of you.

2 Communication is key.

Actions may speak louder than words, but words can give better confirmation that brings you and someone on the same page. Sexual tension is no exception, and it’s the best way to clearly address your intentions with each other or whether they reciprocate the tension or not. Know what you both want with each other: do you intend to be in an exclusive relationship, messing around, or keep it merely just a crush? However, if you’re unsure if they return your feelings, keep making flirty moves at a minimum. If they don’t reciprocate and ignore you, you might as well move on to the next.

3 But also check the relationship status.

No one is immune to sexual tension, even people in serious relationships and co-workers. If you’re sensing sexual tension towards these people, it’s best not to pursue it. Doing so can compromise professionalism, and well, we don’t advocate cheating and infidelity here. However, if you’re both single, then why not try things out and see where things go? If there’s tension, that means there’s chemistry between you that brings out the best in you.

4 Tease your partner.

You’ve definitely done it before, and you can do it again. But this time, to get the person you like in the bed with you. Or if not sex, at least a romantic date. Utilize your body language by licking your lips when they’re talking to you or bending over when trying to pick something up. But no touchy! You can also get physical by pinching his side or asking for their phone to check the time, only to snatch it from him jokingly! Keeping things playful makes everything spirited, letting the sexual intentions naturally come at the right time.

5 Fantasize.

There are numerous fantasies out there with the intention of lighting more sparks in the sexual tension between you and the person you like. It may be one-sided for now, but fantasizing about this person doing certain sexual acts before you get there makes the anticipation process rile you up. In other words, you’re adding more fuel to the flame. Over time, when you’ve established a relationship with this person, you can let them in on your fantasies and choose which to act out with you.

6 Play with their curiosity.

Never let the person you like your next move. With mystery, their curiosity towards you peaks and urges them to uncover more about you. When they ask a question, be blunt with them. If you share a story, only give them the snippets that put them on edge. That’s an indicator that you have their full attention. But in between questions and stories, you can close your mouth and turn towards being quiet. Work towards not making it awkward, and like in the previous tip, use your body language to captivate them before speaking again.

Takeaway

Sexual tension is an exhilarating thing, but it’s best to be mutually reciprocated by the person you like before you make advances. On top of that, you must know what kind of relationship you’d want to develop once you sense this kind of chemistry between you two. Flirt responsibly, reader!