How to Catch a Sexual Predator: 10 Crucial Signs to Look Out For

Trigger Warning: This post discusses and mentions the topic of what a sexual predator is, sexual assault and rape culture.

In the Philippines, the age of consent has been raised to 16. And yet, the problem of child sexual abuse still exists. That is because those kids are still unable to understand what consent is, and their sexual predator is someone within their family tree. 

In a country that values the importance of family, those young kids struggle to speak up or have been shunned by their families. Thus, they’re still continuously exploited.

For today’s article, we’ll be talking about what exactly a sexual predator is and the signs that someone is one to look out for. It’s time for these people to take accountability for their actions and for the victims to seek proper support and protection.

What Is a Sexual Predator?

EasyLlama defines a sexual predator as “an individual who sexually exploits someone in a predatory, abusive, or dominant manner.” 

WebMD adds how sexual predators “may or may not have committed sex crimes,” but they’ve definitely had inappropriate and unprofessional contact with another person.

Sexual predators can target and exploit adults, whether they’re in a vulnerable state or not. But there are a lot of them who target children and minors, which can either lead to child sexual abuse or grooming. 

Signs That Someone Is a Sexual Predator

Browse through this section for the dangerous signs that a certain person can threaten your life.

1 They show a lot of attentiveness in the beginning.

Most of the time, the interaction between a sexual predator and their potential victim may seem discreet, friendly, and welcoming. Texting and catching up on life are the signs of friendship, which makes it easy not to overthink it further.

Thus, the victim may not even know they are one. But in reality, it’s all a mask. Being wholeheartedly interactive with you is only part one of the sexual predator’s plan to attack you. 

2 They create emotional dependency on their target.

From the first sign, a sexual predator would move towards this step: building up their victim’s emotional dependency on them.

Those signs work hand in hand together to capture their victim and make them completely vulnerable to their sexual predator. This manifests through either love-bombing or grooming. As they shower their victim with attention, gifts, affection, and praise, it makes their victim view them as the answer to their prayers and other admirable titles. 

That’s what a sexual predator wants so they can the full trust and loyalty of their victim, making it easier for them to mistreat and abuse them. And when they do, the victim is willing to forgive them easily due to their bond.

3 They have a history of violence and sexual offenses.

This sign should be the most evident one when it comes to filtering someone whom you suspect to be a sexual predator. Nothing good comes from befriending a person with this specific kind of criminal record, especially when they show no signs of guilt nor interest in getting their act together.

Because chances are you’re next in their roster of taking advantage of. So staying cautious and keeping your distance once you uncover this part of their personal background is important.

4 They cross your personal boundaries.

A sexual predator is only focused on their desires, ready for more conquests with complete ignorance of their victim’s personal boundaries. Those personal boundaries involve their physical, emotional, and sexual boundaries. And when their victim tells them to stop out of discomfort, they continue to push their selfishness first. They want things to go their way all the time.

5 They’re coercive.

With all this emotional manipulation that a sexual predator gives to their victim, they’d act coercively towards them to get what they want. They’ll keep pressuring them to constantly give in to their requests, whether it be to try sexual practices they’re not comfortable with or follow their sexual fantasies. The list here goes on.

Some examples of sexual abuse are sexual assault and rape.

In the very worst-case scenario, they can even threaten their victim that they’ll hurt them or those they care about if they don’t obey them. It’s also possible to threaten murder. Thus, it can easily get a victim to follow the sexual predator if they know what they’re capable of.

Guilt-tripping is also another coercive way for sexual predators to convince their victims to give in to their needs.

6 They’re good at manipulating you and others.

The way a sexual predator talks to their victim can easily fool them. Their manipulation is a slow yet cautious process. They carefully pick the right words to hurt and make fun of them when they embark on things that don’t satisfy them. And when the affected person tries to call them out, they can twist the narrative and gaslight their victim. Their every move is calculated; they’ll ensure they win whenever their victim challenges their motives. They can saying how offended they are and point out that the victim is wrong. They can even go, “You’re lucky I stuck by you.” to shame you even more.

And eventually, the victim gets tired of fighting out of guilt. So they simply admit their “faults” and apologize immediately. 

This sign can go on from the start until the end of the relationship. Wherein even after the sexual predator is caught, they don’t admit their wrongdoings.

7 No is never an answer to them.

A sexual predator doesn’t like to be rejected. They want to take and take and take like there’s no end and without anyone stopping them. If their victim rejects them, a sexual predator can show signs of sexual abuse and/or blame them. They don’t think they’re in the wrong even if they caused so much hurt and pain to their victim.

8 They’re sex-obsessed.

A sexual predator becomes one when all of their life centers on sex, nothing else in between, nor any boundaries to keep them in check. They store an excess of sexual material within their space or tend to direct a conversation with someone (a potential victim) towards somewhere more sexual. 

And most of the time, there’s no warning or consent present, causing heavy discomfort and uneasiness for the victim. 

Then as for the excess sexual material they hold, there’s a possibility of them distributing it unsolicitedly to other people. And if they have material of you, you must confront them about it and report it immediately if they won’t listen or stop. 

9 Empathy and consent are not in their dictionary.

A sexual predator is driven by their personal needs, not caring about their victim’s feelings. And by not caring, they most definitely don’t ask nor view the importance of consent. They see their victim as a sexual object that answers all of their desires. Hence, empathy is non-existent in their world as they work towards their pleasure and satisfaction despite the pain it can bring to others.

10 They thrive on secrecy and isolation.

A sexual predator ensures to keep their bad deeds on the down-low. That way, they can still take the wheel in controlling their victim. Simultaneously, they aim to isolate their victim from their friends, family, and overall lifestyle. That way, their victim won’t have anyone or anything else to rely on but their sexual predator. That’s because it’s as if they’ve lost everything else that mattered to them.

When really, it’s possible that the victim was coerced by their sexual predator to stop seeing those people out of jealousy. They even monitor their victim’s whereabouts, trying to limit them from being social.

How To Protect Yourself From a Potential Sexual Predator 

Keep reading this section to learn how to protect yourself and stay vigilant from a potential sexual predator.

1 Stay alert.

Wherever you are, there may be someone lurking around who’s on the move to hurt you. Remain present and aware of your surroundings, especially if you’re in a public space. Check every direction: from left, right, behind, to the front. It also helps to avoid danger-prone areas that could put you in a tough spot. Anyone in your life can be a sexual predator, so never put your guard down fully.

2 Listen to your gut feeling.

Those gut feelings are like your protectors from danger. When something feels off, then it definitely is. It may feel disrespectful and impolite to leave, so people choose to suck it up. Most especially when they’re with people they know.

However, it’s been a common case for victims to know who their sexual predator is. It can be someone in their family, within their peers, or from their school/workplace. You’ll never know until they make their move, but we should pull back before they can do so.

If something in you is getting negative vibes towards someone, try your best to distance yourself from them and be extra cautious too. 

3 Do your research.

If a potential sexual predator is an acquaintance whom you’ve yet to know more of, then beat them at their own game before they even started. Look them up online and ask your own peers about them. Then maybe with your trusted peers, you can tell them how you feel about them to get a second or third opinion. 

And who knows if they have a terrible record when it comes to dating that they should actually go to jail?

Hence, researching and acquiring new knowledge about this person is key to protecting yourself.

4 Protect your home.

A sexual predator would most likely stay along your area where your home is to stalk and then hurt you. They already want to implant the frightening idea in your brain that you’re not safe, and they want to have you for their evil desires. Thus, you must have a secure home they can’t attack even if they tried. 

Some home safety precautions you can take include: 

• Lock your doors and windows.
• Make use of CCTV cameras if you have any.
• Have a well-lit house. 
• Get motion-detector lights that light up when someone closely walks around your home.
• Set alarms when the whole house is locked at night.
• Have your phone nearby.
• Have a safe room.

In the worst-case scenario, don’t go home immediately if you’re being followed. Take a hidden detour, go to a more public space, or stay at a trusted one’s place instead for the night.

5 Be brave to stand up for yourself.

Your life is at risk here. When a sexual predator tries to hurt or threaten you, don’t be afraid to raise your voice. It also helps if you’re in a public space, so all that attention diverts to you and that person, making it possible to ask for help. Plus, sexual predators hate intervention, so this is one way that they can get caught for their actions.

6 Enroll in a self-defense class.

A sexual predator can be found anywhere, much to everyone’s inconvenience. They can be people you know or not, and you may have hinted they’re haunting you or not at all. It’s always helpful to be vigilant and take extra precautions. One that physically involves your entire body to prepare for possible attacks anywhere and everywhere.

Thus, we call that suggestion a self-defense class to protect yourself from danger with the right actions and mindset. Examples of self-defense classes are Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, Mixed Martial Arts, and Boxing. Learning the skills and even some moves from these classes can elevate your protective wall for yourself and others when a sexual predator attacks either of you. 

7 Ask for help.

Having a sexual predator on your radar is not a good thing. And most of the time, you shouldn’t be fending this kind of battle alone.

If you have neighbors, it’s ideal to know who’s in their family circle and even what cars they drive in. And if you have a good relationship with them, they’ll most definitely be at your aid by pushing away any sketchy people who ask for you or pass by your place unattended. This applies to those living in a house or a condominium/apartment complex.

For the latter, alarm the security guards assigned in your building about any suspicious sexual predators. Or in general, don’t just let anyone who say they know you inside.

If you require emotional support, you’ll need a safe space to open up and slowly feel at ease. In the Philippines, you can visit the Violence Against Women (VAW) Desk operated by the Philippine Commission on Women (PCW). They provide counseling and legal advice during this vulnerable time for you. Aside from this, you can seek therapy from a medical professional or extra counseling from more organizations that combat such sexual abuse within your district.

And if things worsen, you can report this incident to the police. We’ll learn more about that within the next few tips.

8 Maximize the technology you have.

Thankfully, we live in a world with modern technology that can make life a little easier. For one, we have our phones that we can use to call right away when something bad happens. CCTVs or any cameras attached around your space are also beneficial to monitor if there’s someone, like a potential sexual predator, roaming around the vicinity. 

Another extra precaution to take concerning this tip is installing a location-sharing app wherein it’s only exclusive to your loved ones. An example is Life360, which can notify your loved ones of your whereabouts so they can check up on you even from afar.

9 Watch your online behavior.

As much as technology and the online world are innovative, it can also set us up for danger if we don’t use them right. A lot of sexual predators lurk online, and often, the younger ones can fall trap to them right away due to their innocence. First and foremost, stranger danger. Never ever talk to strangers online. Even if they have inviting behavior, it can all be a mask for something detrimental.

Second, watch what you post. What may be harmless to you may be mistaken as an invitation by a sexual predator, which can be frustrating.

Last, don’t leave your location in public. It’ll give an idea of a sexual predator where you are.

10 Report it immediately.

When a sexual predator continues to terrorize and inflict upon you, making it seem impossible to get out of their way, report them to the higher authorities. Ensure you have the necessary evidence that proves your accusations and claims of the sexual predator’s crimes against you. 

In the Philippines, you can report a complaint at your nearest police station or at the Philippine National Police (PNP) Women and Children Protection Center (WCPC), which has units that specifically handle crimes aligned with violence against women and children.

Legally-wise, if you bravely decide to bring this to court, the Public Attorney’s Office (PAO) offers free legal assistance for those who cannot afford it. Then aside from reporting a crime, report to the nearest hospital to get any injuries treated and/or check for any possible STDs or an unexpected pregnancy.

Takeaway

A sexual predator can damage your life in multiple ways that can make it difficult to pick up where you last left off. But now, knowing these signs and tips that we’ve shared in this article, they can help navigate you through avoiding potential sexual predators or getting the justice you deserve. But don’t only use this guide for yourself, but utilize it for other’s sake as well. Let’s all help create safer spaces in this world, support others to build their bravery, and raise our voices to fight for what is right. Let’s also continue to stay educated while educating others. With that, don’t be afraid to get more involved in government initiatives that protect sexual abuse victims and arrest sexual predators.