18 Key Non-Negotiables in a Relationship You Should Know About

Before stepping in or back in the dating realm, it’s important to set non-negotiables in a relationship. Even if relationships involve compromise, some aspects don’t need such. Wherein if the person can’t fulfill it, might as well not pursue it. That way, you set a better path in finding the right partner.

In this guide, we’ll be talking about those key non-negotiables in a relationship. Alongside this, we’ll list down some prime examples of such non-negotiables that you can consider in your current or next relationship. Besides, you wouldn’t want to waste your time on a relationship that doesn’t honor those qualities, right?

What are Non-Negotiables in a Relationship?

Marriage.com defines non-negotiables in a relationship as the qualities that “decide to follow religiously in the interest of your relationship.” These qualities are also rooted in prioritizing the needs of you and your partner to have a successful and happy partnership. And as the name suggests, these are the characteristics and traits that shouldn’t be negotiated whatsoever. Unlike with negotiables, which can be tweaked or compromised between the couple.

Think of it also as little rules to remember and follow to maintain a strong relationship and show security and care toward each other.

Why Are Non-Negotiables in a Relationship Important?

If you’re eager to learn more about the importance of setting non-negotiables in a relationship, then keep reading this lengthy yet informative section below!

1 They diminish any present or possible tension between the couple.

Not having any non-negotiables in a relationship may result in constantly crossing personal boundaries. We may take our partner’s decisions and limits for granted without knowing, leading to misunderstandings. It’s also possible to unintentionally neglect them. 

For example, inviting your partner to a party late at night without knowing that those kinds of events overstimulate them would create distance between the two of you. Bridge that distance with communication and listing down your non-negotiables so that it doesn’t happen again.

2 They emphasize mutual respect.

Observing non-negotiables in a relationship, yours and your partner’s, shows how much you care about their well-being and aim to strengthen your bond. It also means you know your worth and that you won’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.

3 They boost the purpose of putting in two-sided effort.

A relationship should be an equal and mutual exchange of effort between those involved, especially when it comes to non-negotiables. By observing and respecting each other’s non-negotiables, it advocates harmony and growth. You’ll also be more attuned and connected with one another.

Otherwise, it would be unfair to the other party who’s paying attention and prioritizing the negotiables and non-negotiables of their partner. This would only lead to more dilemmas and strain in the future.

4 They’re quite identical to your personal core values.

Your core values keep you alive, give you a high-quality life, and enhance your purpose. They’re like a reflection of who you are, making you prioritize your overall state, from the physical, mental, and emotional side. If you group this alongside the non-negotiables in a relationship, they can give you that sense of security and respect you need. 

Let’s showcase an example that applies this point. If you stand for honesty and accountability when you make a mistake, like spilling a drink on a stranger, you’ll do the same when you accidentally spill something on your partner.

Moreover, those core values and non-negotiables of yours align you with someone who may share the same core values as you. Whether it be from their personality or something long-term, it keeps you both floating on the same boat.

5 You make better decisions.

By knowing your non-negotiables, it gives you a vivid idea of what’s okay and what’s not acceptable. It can even build structure in your life as you search for your ideal partner. That way, making decisions is a lot easier to do, and it can even filter out those who aren’t worth your time.

18 Key Non-Negotiables in a Relationship

Non-negotiables in a relationship promote happiness and respect between the couple. They also make sure that you get the kind of relationship you’re rightfully looking for. The last thing you want is to waste time on the wrong person! 

Alongside this, non-negotiables in a relationship can vary per person. But regardless, each trait is worth considering as you sort out your list. Check out the various non-negotiables in a relationship in this section, and happy reading!

1 Open, healthy conversations with one another

Your partner must be someone you can freely talk to about everything and anything. No need to get sneaky around them when any kind of topic, even the difficult ones, would be okay to talk about. Additionally, you feel at ease to be vulnerable with them and vice versa.

2 Passion

For a lot of us, we want a thrilling sex life and/or sensual relationship! We crave bedroom action, physical affection, and intimacy to never be boring. So it’s highly possible to place such factors high above in your list of standards and non-negotiables in a relationship. 

But then again, it really varies per couple. Yet regardless, we can’t deny that passion and intimacy can make us feel loved and cherished. Thus, they’re relationship aspects that are worth discussing with your partner to avoid any kind of lack.

Ways to add passion and intimacy would be scheduling sex, cuddling at night before going to bed, occasional makeout sessions in your home, and heart-to-heart conversations.

3 Openness

Don’t be a closed book! A great non-negotiable in a relationship is being open to trying new things and experiencing new aspects of life. Open to trying a new cafe, riding a crazy rollercoaster, going rollerskating, and the list goes on! 

Having an open mind allows you to learn from each other and grow from any mistakes you make. The same goes for fun experiences, where you gain new memories in the process. Nobody likes stubborn people; keep that in mind.

4 Equality in the Household

This non-negotiable in a relationship is especially relevant for long-time and/or live-in couples. It’s important to share household chores together, getting on your feet when you can, and helping each other out. There’s none of those gendered chores either. 

But if you do prefer a certain chore, you can always bring it up to your partner. At the end of the day, keeping your home in great shape and mutually pulling your weight doing household tasks are important in building a more stable, loving relationship.

5 Support

Your partner is like your number 1 fan in anything that you do. You can always count on them to hype you up, whether it be getting a new job promotion or something small like leaving a sweet, motivational note in your lunchbox. We need a strong support system in general, and having a partner in that system makes it a strong non-negotiable when you’re dating around.

6 A Sense of Humor

No matter how old you get, having a laugh is vital and keeps your relationship running. Otherwise, it’ll be boring and negative. As looks and physical health eventually deteriorate, it’s your sense of humor that can light up the mood no matter where you are in life. So if your sense of humor matches with a potential partner, keep them around.

7 Getting Along with Loved Ones

Good relations between your loved ones and your partner (and vice versa) make a possible non-negotiable in a relationship. The last thing you’d want to experience is tension and strain between them, which can disrupt the flow of your relationship. 

Either that or the relationship can halt right there. The same goes when you’re meeting your partner’s loved ones, eager to make a good impression on them. It can be a possible non-negotiable to either set boundaries around certain family members (maybe toxic in-laws) or not continue the relationship if they don’t like you.

Additionally, witnessing your partner getting along with loved ones creates peace of mind and relief. It’s exciting to see them build connections with one another, like birthday parties, vacations, and more. 

8 No Extreme Jealousy

Nobody likes this green devil! Such an emotion comes from having a lack of trust in your partner. Thus, it’s important to communicate with each other calmly and get the facts straight. Yes, it’s possible that they feel that way out of worry, but going extreme with your jealousy is unsustainable and unhealthy.

9 Having Shared Goals

It can be from traveling to a new country, moving into a new apartment near the city center, or building a family. There are so many goals out there and people who may resonate with you. Those people would be in your tribe, and bonding over these things can strengthen your connection and encourage overall growth. Thus, it makes a strong non-negotiable in a relationship.

10 Independence

As much as you love your partner, you also love and enjoy having time for yourself. You have and pursue your own interests while they have their own. The importance of personal boundaries is emphasized here! So make privacy and prioritizing your individual time a necessary non-negotiable in a relationship.

11 Reliability

If you’re stuck in a sticky situation, you’re certain that your partner can help you out. Maybe you’re stuck in the rain and don’t have an umbrella. Your car broke down, and they can pick you up right away. Or if you’re hungry but too lazy to cook, they’ll provide you with homemade food or takeout. 

Having a reliable partner is among the top non-negotiables in a relationship, whether it be long-term or casual dating.

12 Commitment

Full commitment is an instant non-negotiable if you’re looking for a long-term relationship. For that, you need to find someone who also shares the same interests as you. That way, you’ll be rightfully pouring your efforts and energy into the right person. 

13 Mutual Interests

Having mutual interests allows you to bond with your partner and gives you a lot of things to talk about! Hence, it’s one of the most common non-negotiables in a relationship. Because think about it, having something in common instantly connects you two even more. 

Heck, you may even do those hobbies together! From here, having a shared life together in the long-run is a lot easier to achieve.

14 Reciprocal Trust in One Another

Every strong relationship is rooted in trust, making it a prime pillar in a successful relationship. Moreover, it’s a rightful non-negotiable in a relationship. Like think about it: you’re never suspicious of one another, and there’s no deception. You wouldn’t get nervous about what they’re doing and all that. You fully take in their word as is. 

Or when something unlikely happens, such as their ex contacting them out of the blue, they’ll tell you about it. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s only fair that you know, even if it may lead to a challenging talk. 

15 Honesty

This trait should be an obvious non-negotiable in a relationship. Lying around can snowball, creating distress and a lack of trust. Just as we mentioned about the importance of trust in a relationship, coming clean with your intentions and not hiding away creates transparency between you and your partner. So ensure to check in on each other from time and time. 

Aside from honesty, we’ll add loyalty and faithfulness to it. You need those extra pillars to keep your relationship running.

16 Financial Responsibility

You can learn a lot about a person based on their finances. Those are what keep things running and going in life, so it’s important that your partner is knowledgeable about how they budget, spend, etc. Alongside this, it should also be easy to make financially-related decisions that are beneficial and mutual to both of you. Because at the end of the day, nobody likes debt.

17 No to Serious Vices and Addictions

It’s highly possible that you have firm guidelines with substances such as alcohol, smoking, and drugs. Perhaps you’re not interested, or it’s a general turn-off. If you’re not into dating someone using such substances, from the most casual to possible overusage, then don’t force it. After all, it’s known that engaging in such substances can create distance and ruin within a relationship.

18 Positivity

Whatever kind of situation you get into with your partner, especially a negative one, they always find the light in it. Their mind can effortlessly shift into a bright perspective no matter what the case, giving you hope and love when you need it. If you’re someone who needs more optimism in life, having a genuinely positive partner can be a non-negotiable in a relationship. 

Takeaway

Having non-negotiables in a relationship builds a firmer and sturdier foundation between you and your partner. Never take them for granted, and practice consistency to keep your relationship happy and fulfilling! For more relationship-related articles like this one, head on over to the Lauvblog here.