How to Give a Hickey 101: Make Your Sexy Mark!

Learning how to give a hickey is a fun journey that one can embark on at any age, preferably when one is legal. Once we get the hang of how our lips work in terms of affection, leaving a love bite is the next big step. It’s also quite an accomplishment to be able to leave one and make it stay around for a while. But it has to be agreed on with your partner.

So if you’re trying to get into the ropes of giving someone a good hickey (and actually leave one and not put your suction efforts to shame), this guide is for you. 

Aside from our easy-to-follow step-by-step guide, we’ll also list tips on managing it afterwards.

What is a Hickey?

WebMD defines a hickey as “a dark red or purple mark on your skin caused by intense suction.”

Healthline also adds that these dark marks form or manifest into your body “when the tiny blood vessels under your skin are broken, leaving a noticeable bruise.”

The most commonly associated body part where we receive a hickey or hickeys is the neck. That’s because it’s easily accessible to kiss and play around once you’ve gotten intimate with your date or partner. But other than that, you can leave or have a hickey on any part of your body, such as your chest and even inner thighs—or, more specifically, your external erogenous zones.

Depending on the degree of suction, hickeys can last from 2 days to 2 weeks. Just like any bruise on different parts of your body, they take quite some time to heal fully. They also turn dark brown or purple.

Giving someone a hickey usually occurs when a couple is making out, or someone wants to initiate something sexual with the other person, whether they’re in public or private.

This playful term has other names or aliases, such as love bite, bruise, kiss mark, and chikinini among young Filipino adults.

How to Give a Hickey

Hope you’re ready to leave your mark in the steamiest way ever!

Keep reading this section to understand how to give someone a hickey or a trail of them. Moreover, these steps can apply to any part of your body that you crave such love bites at.

1 Set your intentions.

Before any intimate activity, knowing your motivation and drive to do it gives you more alignment and fulfillment. You become more present and aware. Hence, being intentional makes the act more purposeful and even enhances the mood between the both of you.

Some examples of intentions you can set here may depend on your goals. For instance, you want to give them a hickey or hickeys because:

1. They make you feel all turned on, wanting to show that side of them.
2. It’s a way to claim them as yours respectfully. To show others who they belong to.
3. You want to improve your giving skills.
4. It’s your way of showing appreciation for them.
5. You want to give them a mini memento of your moments together.

2 Discuss how far you want to go.

As you get clear about your intentions, it’s time to communicate with your partner about them. Or the topic of hickeys as a whole. A great start is if they want to receive hickeys from you. Just like any act, you can’t push through without their consent, the green light. If they do, then keep on reading this guide.

Some questions you can ask them include:

1. How many hickeys do you want?
2. Where would you want the hickey/hickeys to be placed?
3. How deep in color do you want them to be?
4. Do you want me to give you a hickey or hickeys while making out doing other intimate activities?
5. How do you want me to tease you before I give you a hickey?

These questions can also be asked again when you’re in the midst of giving a hickey. In case the receiver changes their mind or tweaks their requests.

3 Build up the heat and mood.

Just like any sensual activity, you have to be in the proper mindset. Specifically, the desired mood here is sexual, feisty, and even intimate if you’re a couple. With that in mind, you can build up the heated mood through a makeout session, even if it’s already the main act. Good lips-to-lips action can strongly set the tone, especially when you have your arms wrapped around one another, maybe have some bottom lip biting in between, and hot dirty talk too!

4 Position your lips in the chosen area.

Once you’re all fired up and ready, it’s time to get into the fun part. If your partner wants a hickey or hickeys on their neck, hover over the side of it. Make sure your partner moves their head to the side, giving enough space for you to nuzzle in between.

5 Part your lips and get sucking.

As you’re in position and your lips make direct contact with your partner’s skin, part them into an “o” shape. That way, it can stay glued without any gaps. Afterwards, you can start moving. Start with soft, gentle sucks to have a much smoother flow ad so your partner can get used to the feel. Then when you’re both ready, slowly intensify your sucking. Doing it for 20-30 seconds can ensure a clear mark. 

But in case you’re not used to straight-up sucking, you can segment it. Suck the skin for 10-15 seconds, kiss the skin softly, then suck again at the same time interval. Or you can mix those strategies up, depending on your shifts in the overall mood. 

Moreover, watch how you use your teeth. Some people may be into it, but others may not like the extra intense texture. Ask your partner if they want that extra sensation during your session.

6 Spoil the target area with some extra soft kisses when done.

It’s a nice way to wrap this spot before moving to the next, right? Even if you’re just giving one hickey, giving extra, gentle affection to the bruised area is a smooth way to end things. It gives both of you a brief break if you’re going to give them another hickey.

7 Give the newly marked areas some time.

A love bite doesn’t show up right away after sucking on the skin. But when they finally appear, you can either leave it as is or even suckle on it again if your partner craves it to be darker. But make sure not to go overboard, as the darker it is, the harder it may be to conceal. Plus, you don’t want to give off creepy vampire vibes.

8 Repeat everything if you’re leaving more than one mark.

In other words, reread most of the steps we mentioned before.

Ease into the process of giving another love bite (or bites) with gentle kisses and nose brushes to get your partner all sensitive and ready. It can also give your partner more mental time to prepare for what’s to come. Maybe even make out with them again for that extra closeness and steaminess after being away from their lips. And when you’ve gotten turned on enough, you can pucker your lips again and hover over the same area (or a different one) and then suck on it.

This final step can also occur after giving them the first mark and waiting for it to darken. Stack one task with another!

How to Deal with the Aftermath of a Hickey

Having hickeys is great, but they may not always be the best thing to get. Whether it be due to their location or how dark they are, check out these helpful tips that’ll save you time and effort when you get a love bite.

1 Use a cold compress or ice pack in a towel.

This tip is best applied when the bruise is fresh or within 12 hours of receiving it. MedicineNet advises that cold compresses or an iced pack can lessen inflammation and control the blood flow under the skin of a bruise, and a love bite is no exception. Health further shares that the cold pack should be put on the bruised area for 15 minutes max per hour.

A cold compress or ice pack is also effective for the same reasons. Place a cold spoon in the fridge for a bit to let it chill, then gently place it on your love bites.

2 Use a warm compress after.

This tip is related to the first tip, which states that after a few days of using a cold compress in the hickey-spotted area, switching it to a warm one can enhance blood flow there. Eventually, the dark hue of the bruise can start to fade. Healthline advises applying a warm compress for 10 minutes numerous times within the day.

3 Apply color-correcting makeup.

Merely dabbing cream concealer on your love bites isn’t enough to completely hide them. It may just look silly as you go about your day. Hence, your go-to here is using color correctors, a more suitable version of cream concealer! You can better understand this concept by following the color wheel. Applying a certain pigment to the skin can cancel it out, depending on the color of your bruise.

 

Here’s a short cheat code from Health when identifying what color corrector shade to use based on the hue of the bruise:

1. Green undertones = Purplish-red bruises
2. Red or Orange undertones = Blackish-blue bruises
3. Purple undertones = Greenish-yellow bruises

 

When you decipher where your love bites fall, find a color corrector of that shade in your nearby department store or online.

But don’t just dab the color corrector and call it a day. Apply some primer first on that area, put and blend the color corrector with your fingers in a tapping manner, top it with your usual concealer, then set it with setting powder so it can stay in place and not stain your clothes.

4 Explore home remedies.

Hickeys are a part of life as they are usually associated with sex and intimacy. Hence, it’s been a common dilemma to hide them when they’re located in an unexpected spot. A spur-of-the-moment souvenir!

Some home remedies include:

1. Banana peel: Healthline shares that its inner skin has nutrients that can improve the appearance of a bruise. Place a ripe one on your hickey or hickeys for up to 30 minutes twice a day or until the love bite has fully vanished.
2. Aloe vera: It has anti-inflammatory properties and moisturizes the skin.
3. Vitamin C: It increases the production of collagen and has strong antioxidant properties, promoting brighter, healthier skin. You can take it in through food or topicals.

5 Massage the bruised area.

Lightly massaging over your hickey can enhance blood flow, even for a few minutes daily. It can also ease any pain, if there’s any.

6 Wear the proper clothing.

Having the right attire is an effortless way to prevent possible judgment and prying eyes on you. And they can even be the usual basic clothes you wear regularly! For example, if your hickey or hickeys are littered all over your neck and even down your chest, opt for a collared shirt or a turtleneck top (with sleeves or not, depending on the weather of your city). A scarf over your outfit is okay, too, just as long as you can keep it close to you while in public.

If your trail of love bites is by your inner thighs after some good oral sex, stick to shorts, whether it be as your main bottoms or under your skirt or dress. 

7 Consult with a medical professional.

If you’re experiencing any pain in the bruised area or the bruise hasn’t faded as much as you expected, seeing a professional may be your next best option. They can provide you with personalized advice and prescriptions that can improve your situation.

Takeaway

Becoming more skilled at giving a hickey is a major plus to your sexual or kissing game resume. Especially when you and this person, whether it be your partner or a date, have strong chemistry and compatibility, you’d want them to have a “mini” souvenir to remember by. Just as long as you respect their rules and boundaries around it, it’s a thrilling experience for both ends.

However, remember that these kiss marks take a while to heal. So avoid making the hickey so dark and obvious, and safely practice any of the remedies above to hasten the healing process. In the meantime, get good at covering them up with clothing and makeup!