6 Spicy Signs of Sexual Chemistry to Look Out For

Ever felt a strong spark with someone you met in a social place without knowing their name and star sign? Well, that’s the sexual chemistry making its appearance to you. Especially when your body is getting heated up, and thoughts of them flood your mind, it’s only a matter of time before you go up and talk to them.

Let’s delve deeper into this attractive feeling through this intriguing guide. We’ll also talk about the signs to look out for and how to further develop it.

What is Sexual Chemistry?

Marriage.com defines sexual chemistry as the powerful feeling “when you are immediately drawn to someone.”

It’s a magnetic pull when there’s nothing physical going on… yet. That sense of attraction you have towards them, something in you will know that you want this person. To the point that you want to invite them to your bedroom and get down and freaky.

That’s because sexual chemistry involves both the mind and body. Call it alignment. It’s a whole-body experience wherein they both mutually crave that person.

However, while it can be instantaneous in certain situations (e.g., at the bar), it can also take time to build. Sometimes, the first few encounters may not be as magical as you’d expect. 

Sexual chemistry may take time to build. It’s also what separates someone from just a friend. It may waver over the years as you become a long-term couple due to various circumstances, such as busier work schedules, other life stresses, and having kids.

Is it needed in a relationship?

Well, it depends on your view of a happy, healthy relationship. In some situations, people place sex above the ranks, almost like a core aspect of a strong relationship. If the sex they’re getting is amazing, that means the relationship is on the right track as well.

Another factor here to consider is if the kind of relationship you’re looking for is purely sexual. If the latter is the case, it’s important for the sex to be present and, well, great. Otherwise, you’d be unsatisfied the whole time, and life is too short for bad sex.

But if you’re looking for something more long-term, remember that sexual chemistry alone is insufficient to keep a relationship standing. Dynamics such as efficient communication, setting boundaries, and respecting each other’s space keep a relationship intact and strong. 

Causes of Sexual Chemistry

Unlock the different ways sexual chemistry is built and further developed.

1 Lust

As mentioned earlier, when we’re attracted to someone, desire, and tension also build up. It can be from a subtle caress of your hands or the way they look at you. Perhaps you can make your move at them right away, giving it a shot. But you’re also mindful of reading their body language and seeing if they reciprocate. The last thing you want is for them to feel awkward and just say no.

2 Upbringing

A person you have sexual chemistry with may share remnants from your childhood or any phase of your life that brings pleasure and comfort. There may even be a sense of familiarity upon meeting them.

VeryWell Mind also highlights that someone you have sexual chemistry with reflects what you wanted in an important companion (e.g., parent) growing up, but they lacked in providing your needs. Hence, you can see yourself unconsciously healing through them (but with full awareness and not entirely depending on them).

3 Social

It’s possible to gain sexual chemistry with someone physically attractive. Physical beauty is subjective to the person, especially when societal standards are also at play, showing you what counts as beautiful. But at the same time, you can have your preferences (though they may be influenced by society as well as your surroundings. 

Regardless, whatever traits they have that you’re into, it makes your desire for them stronger. 

4 Biological

Having sexual chemistry impacts the way your body functions. Your response to someone you feel sexual chemistry can be shown through:

1. Having sweaty hands
2. Stuttered speech
3. Being easily flustered
4. Dilated pupils
5. Inability to think straight
6. Feeling your heart race fast
7. Feeling so dazed and smitten

Plus, there are hormones released when you’re attracted to someone. Right as Rain states hormones like dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine are released when we meet someone for the first time. It only makes sense why first impressions matter.

Those hormones “create feelings of motivation, desire, pleasure and arousal.” Thus, we feel more euphoric and high up in the cloud when we meet someone with whom we feel strongly connected.

5 Mutual interests and values

Having interests and values you share allows you to spend more quality time with one another, which invites more connection. It can also enhance your compatibility and cultivate a positive environment around you two to grow.

6 Confidence

A person who has a strong positive self-image of themselves (but not in a rude, cocky way) can instinctively draw people in. As a result, getting to know them more can increase the sexual chemistry, especially when they know what they want in the bedroom or in a relationship.

7 Emotional Connection

Opening up emotionally and communicating what’s on your mind improves the intimacy you and someone hold. Opening up means being vulnerable and honest, which can be scary, but with the right person, you feel safer and closer to them. But being more open comes from being more emotionally intelligent and mature, which is something you work on day by day. Yet if you choose to do so, it can also positively impact your sexual chemistry.

Benefits of Having Strong Sexual Chemistry With Someone

Here are some advantages to look out for regarding strong sexual chemistry between a couple:

1. You feel happier.
2. It increases your motivation and drive to do anything.
3. You’re open to trying new things.
4. The sex is just bound to be good.
5. You’d be able to understand each other’s body language and cues.

Risks of Sexual Chemistry

Stay aware of how sexual chemistry can potentially harm your bond with someone.

1. It may be unrequited.
2. It’s possible to misunderstand the situation.
3. It shouldn’t be the base of your relationship.
4. You overlook other important aspects of a relationship.
5. You may also turn a blind eye to red flags.

Signs of Strong Sexual Chemistry

This can vary per person, but here are some signs that you and someone have a strong sexual spark to look out for.

1 You’re physically attracted to them.

And vice versa. It’s a common instance for looks to strike your attention first (like let’s be real here), so it feels natural to approach them. The admission of “you’re good-looking” may not always be verbal, but your actions around them may just speak for themselves.

2 There’s that magnetic pull between you two.

There are no words to describe that pull, yet there’s that strong urge to head in their direction (or vice versa). No matter where they are, you’ll be there with them, almost like you can’t control it. It’s even more interesting when the person you’re drawn to isn’t your usual type, but you wouldn’t mind being open to the possibility.

Alongside this, you may find yourselves angling your bodies towards their direction whenever they’re around. It shows that you’re fully engaged and attentive to them when they talk or interact with you.

3 You feel a flurry of emotions around them.

From nervousness to excitement, there’s just so much going on! It even affects your body when you eat your words and your thoughts linger around them. But if you’re really sensing something off in your gut, listen to it. They may be right, so it’s best to remove yourself from the situation.

4 You can’t keep your hands off one another.

With consent, of course. When you and someone have strong sexual chemistry, you’ll find a way to get physically close. It can be subtle, like placing an arm around their waist when talking with friends. It can also be bold, like kissing on the dance floor of a bar. It’s even perfect when either one of you (or both) has physical touch as a love language.

5 You can maintain strong eye contact.

You’re not one to back away easily when someone you find cute looks your way. Intentionally and unintentionally. Eye contact (usually beyond 2 seconds) is a clear indication you’re interested, even more so when it’s reciprocated. You should also be able to read and detect what they’re feeling through them. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul.

Aside from this, maintaining strong eye contact shows that you’re paying attention to them and very much occupied with them. And vice versa.

6 Flirting comes naturally to you two.

Flirting is that extra fuel that fires up the sexual chemistry between a couple, exclusive or not. Being playful and suggestive with one another comes easy to you two.

ABC Tips on Enhancing Sexual Chemistry With Someone

When there’s a spark, it’s a matter of time when it diminishes. But you can avoid that by following these tips that keep that spark alive longer.

1 Allow yourself to be honest and emotionally vulnerable.

Having deep conversations with your partner about yourself strengthens your bond. And in turn, your physical attraction and sexual chemistry. Opening up about your weaknesses, insecurities, and dreams in life brings you two closer. As a result, it can even enhance the trust in your relationship. 

Having these kinds of talks with one another removes any filter or front you put up. You’re willing to be authentically yourself with this person. Even if it’s scary, you’d do it because you want to connect with your partner much better.

2 Be patient.

Don’t instantly reject someone just because you don’t feel sparks right away. Let the bond fully cook (hehe using Gen Z slang); the build-up when you keep seeing each other may arise. It’s actually quite common for a lot of exclusive couples not to have that spark at the beginning, but it starts to come up to the surface later on. And oftentimes, it’s strong, making your private time more enjoyable.

Simultaneously, it’s also okay to set a limit on dates or meetings with them so neither of you forces a serious relationship. That can encourage toxic behaviors, and it teaches you to be firmer in setting boundaries. For example, if you set a maximum of 3 dates and there’s no sexual chemistry present, it’s alright to part ways (mutually) and then search for a new potential partner.

3 Communicate all throughout!

Having strong and efficient communication skills is the best and sexiest thing you can have in a relationship. A lot of problems and misunderstandings can be avoided when you voice your words rather than bottling up and suppressing them. Plus, talking about sex eases the pressure of it. You’d learn more about each other’s interests and limits to have the best sex you’d both ever had.

Ways to communicate about it include:

1. I like it when you….
2. I think we should try mutual masturbation as foreplay tonight.
3. I prefer kisses with a bit more tongue.
4. Ooh, keep doing that!
5. Maybe add more of this and less of that.

4 Don’t force it.

So sure, sexual chemistry may not be present on the first date. Or the second. Or third even. You may want to keep seeing them in hopes of developing it, but there may be signs present wherein you’re simply not compatible. Thus, set boundaries and limits with each person you see and date. Forcing a relationship would do more harm than good.

5 Explore your relationship.

There are instances wherein, while you can be head over heels for someone, the sexual chemistry isn’t up to par. But there’s a solution here: delving deeper into your relationship. Sex isn’t the only thing that makes up your relationship, so one way to bond with them is trying new things with them. In other words, it means spending quality time with them. 

Perhaps go on an adventure to the best cafes in town or check out a new hobby together, like pottery. It’s being in close proximity with each other that builds up sexual chemistry, regardless of what you’re doing.

Aside from this, you can talk about your dreams and goals for the future. See how you can help each other achieve them. This kind of connection increases your intimacy and bond with one another, aiding in building sexual chemistry between you two.

Takeaway

Sexual chemistry may or may not be a dealbreaker in any relationship. It may also not be present right away. Regardless, when it starts to build, it’s strong. It can make the relationship more exciting and thrilling, especially when you finally take things more privately. However, remember that it shouldn’t be the foundation of your entire relationship, so stay cautious with it.

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