How to Turn Yourself On: 13 Simple Ways to Get in the Mood

Getting into the right headspace is vital whenever you engage in any sexual activity. For those who experience spontaneous desire, it’s easier to get in a sexy mood. However, for those with responsive desire—where arousal builds gradually and in response to specific stimuli—getting turned on often requires a bit more effort and preparation. That said, we’ve put together a guide on how to turn yourself on that’ll enhance your solo and partnered plays.

1Give yourself a break.

One of the biggest barriers to getting yourself in the mood is stress. When you’re always on edge with responsibilities, it’s hard to fully relax and shift into that headspace.

So here’s how to turn yourself on: Turn off whatever’s stressing you out— whether it’s work, house chores, side gigs, family issues, or even relationship stuff. Doing this temporarily isn’t just great for your pleasure but also beneficial for your well-being.

To help you ease into this, here are some tips for letting go of your to-do list. Try them out a few hours before your intimate time, so by the time you’re ready for some solo or partnered sex, you’ll already be in a more pleasure-focused mindset:

• Tackle the immediate backlogs in your daily routine. Surprisingly, one way to free yourself from responsibilities is by handling them first. For example, if you need to pay bills, do some laundry, or schedule a dentist appointment, get them out of the way. By doing this, they won’t be lingering in your mind when getting on steamy fun.
• Take yourself on a solo date. Exploring somewhere new is a great way to disconnect from work and responsibilities. It’s a simple way to break out of your daily routine while giving your mind the reset it needs to prep for a pleasure-filled session.
• Do your favorite stress-relieving activities. Do you find cooking therapeutic? Do you love watching the newest series on Netflix? Do you prefer having a warm bath while sipping some rosé? Or maybe you prefer unwinding with arts and crafts? Does dancing help you shake off stress? Go ahead and indulge in whatever relaxes you.

2Create an inviting space.

Your environment can affect the overall vibe of the deed, so make sure your space helps you relax. You don’t have to spend a fortune to set the mood—simple changes can make a big difference. Here are a few ideas:

• Keep the place neat and clean. Clutter can be extremely distracting.
• Use your most luxurious bed sheets. Get yourself some silk or satin sheets as they add a touch of indulgence to your session.
• Invest in affordable mood lighting. We highly recommend projector night lights and sunset lamps since they’re easily set up and budget-friendly.
• Keep your work and relaxation spaces separate, so you don’t think about work when you should be in a sultry mood.
• Use room sprays and humidifiers to bring some relaxing scents into the room.

3Build a sexy time playlist.

Music can definitely make or break the vibe, as illustrated by this hilarious story about a guy with, let’s say, a unique sexy playlist.

Shared on the “Today I Fucked Up” subreddit, redditor u/TylerLife revealed that his partner broke up with him because she just couldn’t handle his sex playlist, which included Hudson Mohawke’s “Cbat.” Give it a listen here, and you’ll instantly understand why his partner might have lost interest in the deed.

That said, why not create your own sex playlist for your solo or partnered sessions? Choose whatever tunes get you in the mood (hopefully not “Cbat,” but hey, you do you!), and hit play when you’re ready to roll.

If you need some inspo, check out our playlists on Spotify, especially the **** Me, Boo’d Up, Sexy Time, and Yes Master!

4Try some aphrodisiacs.

Another way on how to  turn yourself on is by consuming some aphrodisiacs or foods that are known to increase your sex drive, as they come with certain ingredients that evoke erotic feelings. Most of these foods are probably in your cupboard, like dark chocolate, berries, almonds, and avocado. However, the studies on aphrodisiacs are limited, so don’t expect these foods to work like magic.

5Slip into your sexiest lingerie, or go all out and get naked!

The way you dress can also have some effect on how you feel, so if you dress sexy, you’ll also feel sexy and confident! So when you start the intimate sesh, consider slipping into your sexiest clothes or just going naked. Embrace and celebrate your body!

6Take some naughty photos.

As the iconic Moira Rose (Schitt’s Creek) said: “Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think, “Oh, I’m too spooky.” Or, “Nobody wants to see these tiny boobies.” But, believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, “Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!”

But seriously, taking some intimate photos of yourself isn’t just a great way to turn yourself on, but a way to empower your body. There’s something incredibly empowering about being comfortable in your own skin. So go ahead, grab your camera, and start taking those steamy shots!

If you’re worried about privacy, you can use an old digital camera that is not connected to the internet. If you’re using your phone, delete the pics once you’re done with the shoot, or avoid showing your face in the photos.

7Dance in your room!

Another fun way to get in the mood for solo play is to let yourself loose through dancing! Whether you want to go free and energetic like Alex Owens from Flashdance or channel your inner Beyoncé from Dance for You, it’s up to you to bust out those steamy moves.

8Check out different forms of ethical porn.

Another way to turn yourself on is by enjoying erotic content, like a porn video, audio erotica, or steamy fanfic of your favorite series. These types of content are designed to stimulate your erotic senses, so you’ll likely find yourself feeling ready and eager after indulging.

Just a heads-up, though— not all pornographic content is produced ethically, especially those in video form. It’s important to choose reputable sources to ensure that the content is made with consent from all parties involved and that they are fairly compensated. Look for ethical websites to ensure your naughty fix is both enjoyable and responsible.

9Let your imagination run wild.

Sometimes, all you need is your imagination. As you lie in your comfy bed, close your eyes and envision a hot scenario that excites you. Your mind is a safe space for all kinds of fantasies, so feel free to explore whatever turns you on—whether it’s with your partner, a celebrity crush, or even supernatural beings.

You can also take a moment to recall a previous sexual experience that really blew your mind. To make things even steamier, touch your body as you relive the sensations, like the kisses you shared and other intimate moments.

10Try erotic breathing techniques.

Another way to turn yourself on is by using erotic breathing techniques. These can help you connect with yourself and channel your sexual energy. By focusing on your breath, you can increase your body awareness as you feel the air moving in and out of your body.

For those new to it, you can start with deep breathing, which means taking long and slow breaths. It’s known to remove the tension from your body, making you relaxed in the process.

Once you’re used to the initial technique, you can try other methods like fire breathing or the breath of fire. For this technique, inhale and exhale quickly through your nose, aiming for about three breaths per second. Do this for 15 seconds, then exhale normally. Breathe normally for 15-30 seconds, then repeat for another 20 seconds. Rest briefly, then do another session, adding 5 seconds each time until you reach a full minute.

You can also try the 4-7-8 Breath Technique. In this one, start by exhaling through your mouth, then close it. Inhale through your nose, mentally count to 4 and hold your breath for 7 seconds. Exhale through your mouth when your mental count reaches eight. Repeat this cycle three more times for a total of four breaths. As the breathing becomes more comfortable, you can gradually add more repetitions.

11Tease and explore your body.

Just like with partnered sex, foreplay is key during your masturbation session. Don’t jump straight to highly sensitive areas like the clitoris or g-spot.

Begin by gently caressing your inner thighs, breasts, legs, and other minor pleasure spots. Use a stimulating lube or a massage oil for a better glide. You can also use external toys like a mini or tip vibrator for further stimulation. As for the duration, it’s entirely up to you how long you want to tease your body. However, we highly recommend taking it slow to really put your mind in a sensual space.

12Enjoy a phone sex or sexting session with your partner.

If your partner is away, consider involving them in your solo sessions. Grab your smartphone, check if they’re up for a steamy phone sex session, and go for it. There’s nothing hotter than your partner whispering sweet nothings and dirty talk to you. Now, if phone sex isn’t your thing, you can always opt for sexting. Just message your partner to see if they’re up for some naughty conversation, and start the chat.

13Use a guided masturbation app.

If you’re new to masturbation or want to switch up your routine, guided masturbation apps can be a great help. There are tons of options available online—some focus on relaxation techniques, while others help you fantasize to get in the mood. Many of these apps come with subscription fees, but you can often sign up for a free trial and stick with the ones that truly help you reach your pleasure goals.

Tried Everything But Still Not Feeling It?

Tried every tip in this guide but things are still not working out? Explored other resources but still wondering on how to turn yourself on?

Everyone has different preferences when it comes to arousal. As mentioned earlier, there are two main sexual desire styles—some people experience spontaneous desire, while others with responsive desire need more time and actions to get in the mood. So, don’t stress if you’ve only had a few sessions and still aren’t feeling it. It might take longer for your body to fully relax and feel those sensual vibes.

That said, there is a small chance that you could be dealing with deeper issues, like sexual repression or sexual aversion disorder. These conditions often stem from negative stigmas around sex, past trauma, or related causes. If you suspect that this could be the case, reach out to a sex therapist who can help you work through these challenges and guide you toward a healthier sexual mindset.

There are also physical health conditions that could be affecting your sex drive, like imbalanced hormones or erectile dysfunction. Consult a specialist and see if that’s what is causing you to have arousal issues.

Takeaway

Getting into a steamy mood can vary greatly from person to person. Some people might find themselves ready in just a few minutes, while others may need a whole day of mental preparation. Some might need physical touch, while others can rely on their imagination to spark arousal.

That’s why exploring all the options and learning what your body responds to is incredibly important. Don’t also hesitate to consult a medical professional if you think there may be underlying conditions affecting your arousal— be patient, and you’ll soon figure out the best way on how to turn yourself on.