17 Key Relationship Deal Breakers To Avoid Trouble

Have you ever set relationship deal breakers when you enter the dating pool? Well, you should if you haven’t unless you want to commit to the wrong person.

In this guide, we’ll be discussing what exactly a relationship deal breaker is and examples of them to keep in mind of. We’ll also talk a bit about how they’re beneficial for you as you date around and one impactful way to get started.

What is a Relationship Deal Breaker?

Brides define a relationship deal breaker as “something that automatically disqualifies someone as a dating prospect.”

If you think about it, the term is also quite self-explanatory. It’s a trait, quality, or even action a prospect has that already breaks or ends a potential relationship before it even starts. In addition, these are the things they want to avoid from experiencing beforehand to spare themselves the trouble.

They’re similar to non-negotiables as well, wherein these things are not compromised in the slightest.

Benefits of Relationship Deal Breakers

What good can setting relationship deal breakers do for you? Well, let this short list of reasons enlighten you down below.

1. You avoid toxic relationships.
2. It encourages you to be honest and authentic with yourself.
3. You’re in control of finding the right relationship for you.
4. It gives you more clarity on what kind of relationship you want.
5. You practice being firm with your boundaries.

What’s One Way To Establish Relationship Deal Breakers?

First and foremost, it’s important to know your core values.

For example, if honesty is important to you, then you wouldn’t want to be with people who lie. Or if you value your solitude, being with someone who’s overly clingy or dependent on you for company is a huge no in your book.

Often, your core values, the ones you hold dear and honor, naturally give you an idea of what actions violate them.

Common Relationship Deal Breakers To Keep In Mind

Check out this list of known relationship deal breakers that a lot of people consider before getting into a relationship. Or even what ends the relationship when they start seeing signs of it.

1 You can’t be yourself around them.

When you’re with a dating prospect or partner, you find yourself creating a fake character around them. It can be as if you’re people-pleasing them, fitting into the mold of their ideal partner. Or maybe you just can’t seem to be yourself when you’re with them, pretending to share the same interests as them or not fully vocalizing your thoughts and opinions on certain things. You put on a mask whenever you’re with them because you don’t want to disappoint them.

But do know that real love is when someone loves you for you, not whatever facade you put on. If they choose not to commit, that’s on them, not you.

2 They have a history of infidelity.

There’s that saying that once a cheater, always a cheater. While it’s not good to overgeneralize, it can make you more paranoid or nervous to date somebody who isn’t loyal and trustworthy. Those two traits are what make a relationship strong and healthy in the long run especially.

If your new partner has already betrayed you, it shows that they don’t respect you and have other interests besides you. And most of the time, things don’t improve if you stay together longer.

The same goes if you give a new prospect a chance to redeem themselves but only end up betraying you. Don’t settle for someone like that.

3 You don’t share mutual values.

Having aligned values with a prospect provides a strong foundation in your relationship, encouraging harmony and strong bonding. Although you don’t necessarily have to resonate 100% of the time, it’s possible that something you value a lot may not be the same for your partner. For example, you advocate clear and calm communication when misunderstandings occur, but your partner would rather avoid and move on from any problems. 

Whatever those strong values are that you hold, remember that they are non-negotiable and shouldn’t be compromised in the slightest.

4 They’re overly clingy.

We all value our personal space and privacy, right? 

It allows us to breathe and re-center our thoughts, enjoying our own solitude for a moment. But when someone constantly threatens that, almost as if wanting to be glued to you 24/7, it can stress you out. They may even feel hurt or offended if you kindly ask them for some space for yourself. Hence, it’s important that you firmly state your boundaries around it. If they don’t want that, then it’s clear that they’re not the one for you.

5 Your sexual drives are incompatible.

For a lot of people, sex is an important aspect of a relationship. If the sex or intimacy linked to it isn’t up to their standards, it can create tension and lots of misunderstandings. With sex, we have needs and desires we’d want to be fulfilled. If they aren’t meeting them or perhaps asking for a lot more than you can manage, things can get messy and stressful.

6 They don’t want to seek help with substance addiction.

Any sort of substance abuse or addiction, from drugs, smoking, alcoholism, gambling, etc., can shift any kind of relationship for the worse. Even more so when your prospect or partner refuses to get any help or treatment done, which can bring more stress and anxiety. Even more so on your end when your prospect or partner keeps indulging in their addiction.

7 They have a history of abuse and violence.

This relationship deal breaker is also a major red flag.

May it be physical, verbal, or emotional, abuse is abuse. 

Your prospect or partner shouldn’t taunt or belittle you as they please or even lay a hand on you. The moment they do something that violates you, it should be an immediate no-no. Your partner shouldn’t be someone you feel small or afraid around, so if possible, leave the relationship. Consider calling the local authorities if you find it difficult to do it alone.

8 They still haven’t moved on from an ex.

Dating is a journey, wherein we experience many hits and misses. For the latter, some of them can be hard to overcome. And yet, people continue putting themselves out there without fully healing. So when they enter a new relationship, they still talk about them non-stop, worrying about what they did wrong, how they can still fix things, yadda yadda.

Like if they’re still so caught up with them, then why are you two together? Rather than focusing on this new bond, they haven’t taken the steps to move on and continue venting over an old flame. They don’t give you the attention that you deserve.

This relationship deal breaker may also lead you to wonder if you’re a rebound for them. Whatever the reason it is, put yourself first and don’t be with someone who doesn’t see what you can offer.

9 Both of you have varied views on children.

This relationship deal breaker is especially crucial for those who want to settle down and eventually start a family.

Although for some relationships that start without thinking that far, it may come across the surface if things get more serious and long-term. It’s definitely a painful situation when one wants kids, but the other doesn’t. For the former, it’s difficult to drop such a huge dream when they’re also very committed to their partner. It’s almost like an ultimatum for them, especially when time is crucial when having children.

This relationship deal breaker is tricky and hard to overcome. There are cases where a couple can talk things out and understand why the other person wouldn’t want to have children. But there are also cases where long-term couples can end things when they don’t align at all.

10 They don’t practice proper hygiene.

Do you want to be around a stinky partner? Yeah, exactly.

It’s already a pet peeve to be around people who don’t practice proper hygiene, like brushing their teeth, wearing dirty clothes, not washing their hands after going to the restroom, and skipping the shower. What more when you’re considering them as a dating prospect? If they can’t keep themselves clean, that’s already a relationship deal breaker. You’re putting your sanity and health at risk here when a lack of cleanliness makes you more prone to viruses and illnesses. 

The same goes for tidiness when you consider moving in together. Sure, leaving a shirt on the floor accidentally when changing is forgivable when they pick it up and get it cleaned. But when it becomes a consistent thing, it becomes frustrating. 

Another example is if they create a pile of clothes that were never tackled through washing or disposal. A person who does any of these things above consistently isn’t worth your time and energy.

11 Your partner doesn’t give you attention or appreciation.

With this relationship deal breaker, it’s as if your partner takes you for granted. They don’t express any gratitude for you or carve out quality time to spend with you. You may also not be a priority to them wherein you end up initiating plans or intimacy almost all the time. They also may not value your needs as much as you value theirs, nor support your goals and future endeavors. Heck, it’s possible that they may even be against it, much to your dismay.

Mind you, you should be with someone who would always be by your side to hype you up and has their full devotion on you.

12 The two of you are always fighting.

While conflict is common in every relationship, it can eventually be a huge relationship deal breaker if it’s constant and there’s no sense of reconciliation. One example is when the same problem is still committed and the responsible party doesn’t bother to fix it. Another is when the prospect makes a joke that actually hurts then you both go full on competition in fighting.

When dealing with conflict, it should be done when you’re both in a much clearer headspace so you can effectively express your emotions. From there, you can create a solution to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

Relationships are meant to bring peace even after some rocky storms, not something that only brings anger and stress. If that’s the case, you may need to reconsider where you’re headed with them and if it’s really worth all the heightened emotions.

13 They don’t get along with your friends.

Oh, this one can be a tricky one. Your friends are just as important as a prospect, but it should never be to the point of only having either one. The same goes if you don’t vibe with their friends, wherein you shouldn’t have to decide anything too intense or stressful.

But remember, your friends have been by your side through it all. Through the heartbreaks and uncalled-for inconveniences, they help you get back on your feet.

14 You both have different stances on religion.

For some of us, we grew up being very rooted in deep, various religious beliefs. 

While there are successful relationships that are inter-religious, it’s still possible to face challenges when both of you follow different religions. For one, your partner may be stubborn in adjusting to your religious beliefs and so on. Two, there may be disagreements. If any of those reasons worsen, then this person may not be for you.

15 There’s a lack of communication.

Strong, deep, and open communication skills must always be present in every relationship, platonic, familial, and romantic. It’s how you’re able to express what you’re feeling and get clarity. Mind-reading who? Yeah, we don’t know her.

It’s even worse if you can’t be open with them on deep and purposeful topics, which allows ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. Those are the kinds of talks that allow us to know someone better and bond with them a lot more.

16 There’s an urge to drop your goals and dreams.

Whether it be due to your partner or where the relationship is going, it shouldn’t put you in a major ultimatum. A healthy relationship encourages both partners to achieve their individual goals and aspirations, not hold them back from it. 

So if you sense that your dreams must be sacrificed to keep your relationship stable, that’s a huge concern that should be discussed. Just think of everything you dreamed off growing up and worked towards for, then suddenly dropping it for a relationship? It shouldn’t be that way because that means you’re sacrificing your own needs and happiness.

17 They aren’t open to trying new things with you.

Trying new things together makes room for growth and happy memories. However, if they always reject any offer of a fun activity, how can you two bond and connect? While there are instances wherein it’s really not their thing and they prefer staying at home, be prepared for such an instance. Yet again, you can only accommodate so many rejections. If it’s to the point wherein you’re constantly left disappointed, that shows that they value meeting your needs as much.

Takeaway

Relationship deal breakers are important to set and have before getting into the dating world. Without it, it makes you willing and prone to enter just any kind of relationship. Due to that, there are risks of heartbreak, going through unnecessary conflicts, and heightened negative emotions. But by having those relationship deal breakers, they stray you away from incompatible matches and put you in control of your dating pool. It’s also an act of self-love wherein you don’t just settle down on anyone!

For more relationship-related guides such as this, check us out on the Lauvblog here!