Why Does Sex Feel Good? Let’s Talk About It

Why does sex feel good? Well, it depends on the person you’re asking.

Some may like the emotional aspects of it, like being more intimate and connected with their partner. Others may prefer the physical touch involved, especially if it’s their love language. Then there are those who like it as a fun activity, safely doing it with various sexual partners or their own exclusive one.

Whatever it is, it comes to show that sex is a unique experience for each person.

In this guide, we’ll discuss more on the good aspects of sex, what impacts it, and how to improve the kind of sex you’re currently having or experiencing.

Phases of Sex

Let’s have a quick review of what occurs within your body as it prepares for sex.

1 Desire

Also known as excitement, this phase is when your body starts getting aroused.

Arousal varies per person, but commonly, one’s genitalia starts to swell up due to all that blood flow and increased sensitivity. Such genitalia would be the vulva, vagina, clitoris, penis, and testicles. The latter would also stiffen up, getting that “hard” sensation that’s ideal for sex. As for vulva owners, Medical News Today adds the increased blood flow creates a fluid called transudate, which is responsible for lubrication. Or in other words, getting wet.

Other signs of arousal can include:

1. Sweaty palms
2. Increased heart rate
3. Flushed skin
4. Fuller breasts
5. Sensitive and erect erogenous zones (e.g., nipples)
6. Muscle contractions

2 Plateau

During this phase, everything you’re feeling amplifies and becomes even more sensitive. You may even experience them at an on-and-off pace and muscle spasms all over your body.

3 Orgasm

When you and your partner engage in your ideal sex activities, reaching an o’ is very much possible. For vulva owners, mixing penetration and clitoral stimulation is a strong formula for success. For penis owners, giving a lot of attention to the shaft and tip can get them off.

There’s a lot of muscle contracting and panting from the increased heart rate as someone tries to come. Then when they do, it’s like a strong release from all the tension that relaxes their body. Ejaculation is also possible here.

4 Resolution

This phase paves the way for relaxation and unwinding after such a powerful release. Due to how strenuous it can be, people may even sleep right away. Or even get more lovey-dovey with their part, hence doing sexual aftercare to avoid post-coital dysphoria.

At this phase, you’re also both very sensitive so getting stimulated or touchy is not ideal. And quite possibly, both of you experience a refractory period if you wanna go again.

Why Does Sex Feel Good?

From physical, mental, and emotional, there are many reasons as to why the deed can feel good to anyone. Keep reading this section to learn more.

1 There are a lot of hormones released.

As we go through each phase of sex, numerous kinds of hormones are released. During the arousal phase, testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin, and vasopressin are released. You’d feel more positive and affectionate. As for your body, they start getting wet or hard.

During sex, there’s dopamine and endorphins. They make you feel really good and driven, easing any pain. Post-sex, there’s serotonin (“happy hormone”) and prolactin (helps regulate stress).

2 You’re with the right person.

Sure, sex can feel good if you’re with someone who’s experienced. Whether or not you switch sexual partners from time to time if you’re not exclusively dating anyone or stick to casual hook-ups.

But there’s something special when the person you’re with knows your sexual pleasure from head to toe. They’re also someone with whom you’ve communicated your needs through and through and also connected on an intimate level. Since sex has a lot of intimacy involved, even if you try to keep things casual, it doesn’t remove the fact that you get really close. Not just that, you feel safe and comfortable around them.

Regardless, your entire being would know if you’re with someone compatible with you. As a result, you’re more likely to put your best foot forward and naturally enjoy the activities you do with them.

3 You have a healthy body.

Healthy body = Happier and healthier sex life!

Having a healthy body allows you to move your body to its full range. Without anything holding you back, from medical conditions to sexual dysfunctions, there are no delays or setbacks in feeling good. If you want to orgasm at a certain moment, you’d be able to time and control yourself. None of the premature ejaculation or delayed erection/lubrication, whatsoever.

4 You have a positive self-image.

This reason is quite in line with the previous post, specifically with the mental aspect of it.

Sex feels extra good when you’re comfortable in your skin. You’re also grateful for the kind of body you’re given. May it be loving its curves and flaws or being somewhere more neutral, like appreciating how it makes you energetic and capable of movement.

With these affirming thoughts, it translate how you’d feel during sex, wherein you’re exposing all of you to someone. Or even yourself! This ease and comfort make you less worried about what others think and get you to focus on the moment a lot more.

5 You’re acquainted with your body.

There are many ways to specifically learn about the body you’re given. 

Through sports, you understand more about its movement range. By engaging in mental activities like reading and observing, you’re more aware of how your mind works and processes things. Then through solo sex, knowing more about what makes you feel good through your hands or sex toys is a given.

For the latter, that becomes an advantage when you engage in partnered sex. You can coach and show your partner the various ways to satisfy you. There’s no need to guess and hope for the best.

6 You and your partner always try new things.

Boredom who? 

When you and your partner always engage in something new every now and then, it builds more excitement and thrill in your dynamic. May it be something small, like amplifying your dirty talk (e.g., you’re so naughty) while doing it doggy style, or something bigger like using whips for BDSM, having an open mind for something new lights up a bright fire.

A fire you two should ensure not to wash out so quickly!

7 Sexual safety and protection is a priority.

Ensuring safety and protection beforehand alleviates any worries and concerns, allowing you to focus on the pleasure. It also amplifies trust in your relationship or bond, creating more intimacy with one another. At the same time, it prioritizes mutual respect.

8 You maximize the foreplay.

Foreplay is crucial in building up and boosting your arousal throughout the deed. It’s also a way to get even more intimate with your partner; hence, you shouldn’t rush things. Plus, heightening things up builds the anticipation and makes things much more thrilling.

Crucial Factors That Can Affect Your Sexual Pleasure

Read this section to learn what can hinder your body from experiencing maximum sexual pleasure.

1 Pre-diagnosed Medical Conditions (Physical and Mental)

Such conditions may have symptoms that can hinder you from experiencing maximum sexual pleasure. Those symptoms may range from decreased libido and dryness to sexual aversion.

2 History of Sexual Trauma and Abuse

The feelings of happiness and trust surrounding sex are affected when one has had a history of such trauma and abuse. As a result, they are averse to or feel hindered when they do the deed of their own will. It’s also difficult for them to relax when they were violated before. Leaving the trauma unresolved only strengthens the tension and discomfort, which decreases sexual pleasure.

3 Stagnancy or lack of eagerness to explore

When sex turns into a routine of repeated activities, it becomes boring over time. And no one likes boring sex as everything becomes predictable. Hence, you’re less likely to get turned on and be truly satisfied in the bedroom.

4 Problems with Lubrication

This factor affects vulva owners the most. When aroused, their bodies naturally lubricate their vaginal walls, which makes penetration smooth and enjoyable. However, certain changes like a drop in estrogen and menopause can impact that, embodying more dryness down there. It can even pave the way for a condition called vaginal atrophy. 

Another way for lubrication to be affected is through childbirth and breastfeeding.

5 STIs

STIs bring discomfort and pain during the deed, alongside embarrassment. There’s also that fear of passing the STI onto someone else, even with the proper precautions, making it a not-so-fun experience.  Such concerns that meddle with one’s health can instantly overshadow the enjoyment that sex usually brings. 

6 Bad sex

Simply put, you’re sleeping with the partners. Or possibly, you don’t know your sexual pleasure enough and let random partners please the way they know how. Yet, those activities don’t resonate with you.

How to Make Sex Feel Good

Enhances your future sexcapades with these stellar tips.

1 Communicate more about your needs and desires.

Communication is key to everything, even more so with sex. When you want the sex to feel good, it’s ideal to talk things out with them every now and then. Your needs and desires can change over time, so expressing them gives you more transparency and clarity with one another. Plus, you can act them out right away when you have free time together. Or perhaps, building a sex schedule makes things more exciting on top of communicating.

2 Masturbate more.

Sometimes, it’s possible that you don’t know your sexual pleasure well. Thus, you let your partner take charge while you’re still unsure of what makes you feel good. It shouldn’t be that way when you deserve good sex and proper transparency with your partner.

The best way to know your unique sexual pleasure is through masturbation. We’ve all touched ourselves at one point out of curiosity, so allow yourselves to get curious again. 

 

How far can your fingers go up your vagina? 

Would you stroke your cock slowly and then hastily?

Which sex toy do you want to get?

 

Masturbation connects with your body like no other. We unlock all sorts of pleasure zones that may not be known to anyone else. After all, sexual pleasure is unique to our bodies. So to make sex better, be more familiar with your body so you can pass on your knowledge to your future sexual partners.

3 Try new kinks and fantasies.

Aligned with the previous points above!

Sex becomes more satisfying when both parties are involved. Hence, it’s important to learn more about the sexual acts you’re both into. Make it something more collaborative, wherein you get to try what they’re into and vice versa. Not only would you know more about who they are, but truly enjoy their company a lot more. 

For example, you find out that your partner likes getting handcuffed, so you take charge of the cuffs. Or maybe you’re into degradation, so your partner follows suit when you two have sex.

It’s also possible to negotiate and compromise in case some kinks and fantasies don’t align. Perhaps give it a try once and let them or you decide if it’s worth doing again. At the same time, respect any non-negotiables if applicable.

4 Set better boundaries.

It’s possible for some people to engage in activities that they don’t like, hence crossing the boundaries and limits they set themselves. They’d also feel more insecure and down. But by setting firmer boundaries, it’ll make you feel more empowered and in control while also keeping things mutual and respectful with your sexual partner.

5 Pick the right sexual partners for you.

Being with someone, even for a night, who makes you feel comfortable and seen releases any tension and pressure. Hence, your body is more likely to relax and feel more at ease as you figure out what sexual deeds you want to do.

Another added standard here is that your sexual partner is transparent with their sexual history. Preferably, they’re clean from any STIs. That way, you lessen your chances of getting them.

Takeaway

And that wraps up our informative guide on why does sex feel good! We hope that you learned more about the ropes of sexual pleasure and how they resonate with your needs. Maybe even add more tips to try to make your own sexual pleasure a lot better! Overall, making sex feel good for you varies per person, and it’s important to attend to your needs and do what’s beneficial for you.

For more sex-related guides such as this one, head on over to the Lauvblog here.