Does Penis Size Matter? Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Stress Over It

“Does size matter?” is a question that often gets mixed responses. Some people argue that penis size doesn’t matter and that performance is what counts, but when you look at how society views larger penises, you might think otherwise.

People always seem to rave about bigger penises. We toss around terms like big dick energy in a positive light, put people like Pete Davidson who is rumored to have a 10-inch penis, in the headlines because of it, and in the Philippines, “daks”—a term for larger penises—is often perceived as a compliment. You can also see in porn, erotic novels, and audio erotica that the lead male character would often have a big penis, enticing those who consume it.

Meanwhile, having a smaller penis is often associated with guys who aren’t the typical hunks or macho types. Take Willem Dafoe, for example. He used a stunt penis in Antichrist because people were shocked by his large member. While it may have been done to bring more immersion in the film, there’s also an implication that because he doesn’t fit the typical hunk mold, people couldn’t believe he’d have a big dick.

And in the Philippines, terms like “juts” (used to refer to people with smaller penises) and “supot” (referring to uncircumcised penises) often carry a teasing or derogatory tone.

But let’s set aside society’s views on penis size—does it actually impact your experience in the bedroom? In this guide, we’ll take an objective look at whether size plays a significant role in vaginal and anal pleasure.

What’s the Average Penis Size?

Before we further deepen (no pun intended) our discussion, let’s clarify what constitutes an average, above-average, and below-average penis.

According to a 2020 research review shared by Healthline, the average length of an erect penis is between 5.1 to 5.5 inches, while a 2014 study found that the average flaccid length is 3.61 inches.

This means individuals with a penis size under 5.1 to 5.5 inches would be considered below average globally, while those above 5.5 inches are classified as above average. Those in the 5.1 to 5.5-inch range fall into the average category—though researchers believe that the actual average tends to be on the lower end of this range, as some people tend to overestimate their penis sizes.

How to Measure Your Penis Size

Curious about whether you’re average, above average, or below average? Grab a measuring tape and follow these steps to measure your length and girth accurately:

Bone-Pressed Erection Length (BPEL)

1. Place the measuring tape or ruler on top of your erect penis.
2. Press the tip of your penis against your pubic bone (gently).
3. Measure from the pubic bone to the tip of the glans (penis head), excluding the foreskin.

Non-Bone Pressed Erection Length

1. Place the measuring tape or ruler on top of your erect penis, but this time, don’t press the tip against your pubic bone.
2. Measure from the base of your penis to the tip, excluding the foreskin.

Flaccid Stretched Length

1. Stand up and lift your flaccid penis so that it’s parallel to the floor and perpendicular to your body.
2. Place the measuring tape on top and gently stretch your penis to get an accurate measurement.

Erect Girth

1. Take a measuring tape and wrap it around the widest part of your erect penis to measure girth.
2. These simple steps can help you get an accurate measurement of your size, whether you’re curious about length or girth.

Key Facts

Curious if your penis size measures up when it comes to pleasure? Here are some key facts to keep in mind.

1The average vaginal depth is around 3.6 inches.

The biggest concern among below-average heterosexual men is the fear of not being enough for their partner’s vagina. Many believe that penis size directly correlates with their partner’s satisfaction, assuming that if they don’t fill every inch of the vaginal canal, it will lead to dissatisfaction in their relationship.

But let’s shift the focus to female sexual anatomy. Did you know the average vaginal depth is actually about 3.6 inches? Even men who fall short of the 5.1–5.5-inch average can still provide adequate stimulation.

Not only that, but the well-known G-spot, located on the anterior vaginal wall, is typically 2–3 inches deep. This means you can easily reach and stimulate it regardless of size.

In most cases, longer penises—those measuring 7 inches or more—can sometimes be a disadvantage during vaginal sex. They have the potential to hit the cervix, which can cause discomfort or even pain for some partners. Yes, the vaginal canal can stretch, but that doesn’t mean a woman can just easily and comfortably accommodate those with incredibly long penises. This topic has even sparked discussions in social media, with one viral short video hilariously explaining the facts.

2The female pleasure center isn’t the vagina, but the clitoris.

Another important thing to note about female sexual anatomy is that most pleasure is actually located outside the vagina, specifically in the clitoris. Recent studies reveal that the clitoris contains over 10,000 nerve endings, making it one of the most sensitive parts of the body.

And about that G-spot we talked about earlier? It’s actually part of the larger clitoral network. When you stimulate the G-spot, you’re indirectly activating the internal parts of the clitoris, which is what leads to vaginal pleasure and orgasms.

3The prostate gland is about 2 inches inside the rectum.

Now, for the guys who wanted to be a top, the penetrative partner in anal sex, but worry that their penis size might not be enough to stimulate the prostate gland, here’s some good news: the prostate gland is located only about two inches inside the rectum.

This means you can easily reach and stimulate this sensitive area regardless of whether you’re working with 3 inches or less. It’s less about size and more about positioning and technique.

4Your penis size doesn’t affect your health or fertility.

For those trying to conceive and worried that a shorter penis might prevent sperm from reaching the egg, don’t worry—fertility isn’t tied to penis size. However, one measurement that does matter is your AGD, or anogenital distance, which is the distance from the anus to the base of the penis.

According to NBC News, citing a study published in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives, “Men whose AGD is shorter than the median length—around 2 inches (52 mm)—have seven times the chance of being sub-fertile compared to those with a longer AGD.” Sub-fertility means having a sperm count below 20 million per milliliter, which can make conceiving more challenging. While penis size doesn’t impact fertility, AGD may be an important factor to consider.

On the other hand, your penis size has no direct connection to your overall health. As long as you’re practicing good genital hygiene, safe sex, and maintaining healthy habits, you’re in good shape. However, those with below-average penises might face some mental health challenges, such as sexual performance anxiety or feelings of sexual repression.

If you feel that concerns about your penis size are affecting not just your confidence in the bedroom but also your overall self-esteem, reaching out to a therapist could be a helpful step. They can guide you in addressing these feelings and building a healthier, more positive self-image.

5It also doesn’t affect your pleasure or sexual stamina.

Not only does penile length have no correlation to your health, but it also doesn’t directly impact your pleasure or sexual stamina. People with below-average or above-average penis sizes can experience erections and pleasure just as normally as those with average-sized penises—unless they have specific conditions like priapism, which is an abnormal, prolonged erection.

When it comes to sexual stamina, a shorter penis doesn’t automatically mean a shorter erection. Factors that can affect sexual stamina include conditions like Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and medications such as antidepressants.

Psychological factors like depression or chronic stress can also play a role. So if you’re stressing out about your penis size, it could actually be affecting your performance in the bedroom. The more you focus on your size, the more it can impact your confidence and ability to relax, affecting your stamina.

6There are different kinds of orgasms.

What’s amazing about our bodies is that we’re capable of experiencing euphoric pleasure in so many different ways. Clitoral, vaginal, anal, and nipple orgasms are just a few types that can be unlocked with the right techniques.

If you want to spoil your partner, remember—pleasure doesn’t always have to come through penetrative sex. There are many other ways to bring excitement and satisfaction; exploring different types of stimulation can lead to deeper connection and pleasure for both of you.

7Studies show that penis size isn’t a significant factor in relationships.

A common worry that many guys have is that their partners might leave them for someone more well-endowed. After all, big penises are often associated with strength, masculinity, and being better in bed.

But the data tells a different story.

According to a study cited by healthymale.org, only 15% of a group of over 25,000 heterosexual women wished their partner had a larger penis. This suggests that, for most women, factors like emotional connection, intimacy, and communication play a much bigger role in sexual satisfaction than penis size.

There are also female-led forums stating that the penis size of their sexual partner matters only in a hooking-up or casual context. That means if they’re looking for something long-term, penis size isn’t the primary factor they check on.

What to Do If You’re Below Average

If you’ve measured and realized your penis is below average—or if you’ve always known its size—there’s little you can do to permanently increase it. Supplements and gels don’t work, and while devices like penis pumps may add some length and girth, the effects are short-lived.

However, size doesn’t define your performance. Here are some tips to help you level up your bedroom game and boost your confidence.

• Level up your oral skills. Learn about cunnilingus and blowjob techniques to enhance your partner’s experience— you can also ask them to see which areas you can improve. By letting your partner finish first, there’s less pressure on you, and you’re ensuring they have an intense orgasm. It’s a win-win situation!
• Try using penis sleeves. Penis sleeves are worn over your penis, featuring a realistic silicone extension at the tip. This can add 1-2 inches in length, helping you feel more confident and giving your partner a fuller sensation during sex.
• Experiment with penis pumps. Penis pumps work by creating a vacuum around your penis, temporarily increasing its thickness and firmness.
• Unlearn the stigma surrounding penis size. As mentioned earlier, stressing over your size can lead to challenges like difficulty maintaining an erection or feeling like you can’t fully engage during sex. Review various sources, reflect on your experiences, or even consider speaking to a therapist to work through these concerns.

What to Do If You’re Above-Average

Now, for those who fall on the other end of the spectrum, here are some important pointers to remember.

• Remember, size isn’t the only factor that contributes to great sex. While being well-endowed can be an advantage, it doesn’t mean you should neglect other important aspects of intimacy. Take the time to master foreplay, oral sex, fingering techniques, dirty talk, and all the other exciting elements that make sex turn from good to ohhh-mazing.
• Find the right condom size. While condoms are designed to stretch, wearing one that’s too tight can lead to breakage or slippage. Plus, it can be really uncomfortable for you, which could affect your experience. To avoid this, make sure to measure both your girth and length accurately and choose a condom that fits comfortably based on those measurements.
• Lube, lube, lube! If you’re incredibly above average, say around 7 inches or more, inserting your penis can sometimes feel uncomfortable for your partner. To help, make sure to relax them with plenty of foreplay and use lots of water-based or silicone-based lubricant for a smooth, comfortable glide.

Takeaway

As we’ve explored the question “Does size matter?” it’s clear that confidence and connection are far more important than the number on a tape measure.

There are plenty of ways to bring pleasure to your partner, and stressing over your penis size can actually do more harm—like wasting money on questionable products or getting too anxious in the bedroom. So, keep your chin up, enjoy your bedroom plays, and remember: the right person won’t care about the length or girth of your hard-on.