A texting red flag is a warning sign that someone is displaying toxic behavior when you talk to them. May it be through your actual messages or the conversation tab on your dating app. You can start seeing them when you’re still getting to know them or overtime as you establish a routine of talking to them. No matter when they’re spotted, they can be dangerous if you don’t catch them on time.
But what are those texting red flags? Well, this guide will tell you more about them, alongside tips on how to deal with them upfront. After all, a red flag is a red flag, and you wouldn’t want to waste your time and energy dealing with them.
Importance of Spotting Texting Red Flags Beforehand
Texting red flags are serious signs that shouldn’t be brushed under the rug.
By being aware and knowledgeable of them prior encourages more safety as you explore the dating world. You’d know when enough is enough or when someone is actually suitable and compatible for you when you see it right away.
Another great thing about spotting different texting red flags beforehand is taking charge of your dating life and relationships. If you notice someone acting up or disrespecting you, it’ll be a no-brainer to confront them or end with them. In taking charge, you assert your power and value being respected, not letting anyone take advantage of you in any way, shape, or form.
Lastly, spotting texting red flags helps you build better emotional boundaries. If you notice something that you’re not okay with, like them texting you nonstop, you can address them like, “Hey, I’m not cool with this.” Saying it in a respectful way keeps things harmonious, even if they don’t give you the reaction you wanted. That says more about them than you; you can always cut them off.
Texting Red Flags to Look Out For
Onto the chunky part! This section provides some of the most common texting red flags that some people still push aside just because they believe they found the person for them. Like girl, remove those rose-colored glasses and figure out whether or not they’re good for you. Other than them, this section is ideal for those who want to date safely and converse with the right people through text.
1 They compliment you a lot.
It’s giving love-bombing energy. A person exuding this behavior may think that flattery is the way to your heart, perhaps even recycling old compliments and pick-up lines to get you onboard. When they act all extravagantly on you, the intensity that treatment holds can be used to manipulate or control you.
Plus, over-complimenting feels inauthentic and uncomfortable, especially when you’re still getting to know one another.
2 They jump into sex-related texts quickly.
In a serious, exclusive relationship, sex comes after learning more about the person and their different quirks. You have to fully warm up to each other before adding sex on the list. So someone who virtually acts for sexual content like nudes or sexts is really impatient and just DTF. It’s even possible that they can send unsolicited nudes and sex, which feels violating and irritating. So unless you’re only into hooking up or sleeping around, such unexpected sexual conduct early on is a texting red flag.
3 They don’t acknowledge the things you text them.
Getting to know someone is a two-way street. If you share something, they have to share something in return too. It’s give and take to get to know each other better! However, if you tell them something, but they ignore it and talk about themselves, that doesn’t feel fair. It’s like they want you to praise them and only them, almost as if you’re not their equal. Plus, it’s exhibiting narcissistic traits that you don’t want to deal with.
4 They text that they want to meet you right away.
It’s only been a few texts, and then they already want to see you. You barely even know about them, and they press you to give in so you don’t seem like an a-hole. A person who likes to rush things can indicate controlling behaviorism, which is a major texting red flag.
5 They check in on you way too much.
Almost every minute and every second of the day, they always send a text to you.
“What are you up to?”
“How are you feeling?”
“Do you have plans later?”
It feels like someone is watching you or trying to get their hands on you when they can. This person can also come off as sketchy or clingy, trying to keep tabs on you. As a result, this texting red flag can feel suffocating and even distract you from your day-to-day tasks.
6 They get mad if you don’t text back instantly.
You know how we’d text someone back and forth that it can end up having such good flow and conversation? It’s amazing, yes, but sometimes, some hiccups can happen in between. It’s normal, given that we have our own lives to get by and are not always stuck on our phones.
However, there are some people who don’t like that, and even treat you badly and guilt-trip if you don’t reply instantly. Like ew, instant dating red flag! Such treatment can even occur if they send a text and in 5 seconds, you still haven’t responded. Like hello, we have a life? I was in the bathroom? I had a meeting? I was working on something?
Additionally, we don’t want to feel like we’re lacking or always in the wrong when you’re dating around. That’s not how it should be! If they make you feel this way, that’s a texting red flag.
7 They text passive-aggressive messages.
If the person you’re seeing feels bothered, they won’t be straight up about it when they text you. Instead, their words would be indirectly negative to avoid any confrontation or argument. But then again, it stirs up guilt on your end. For example, they invite you to an event spontaneously but you already made plans with your family. They can text you something like “Oh, that’s alright. I was really looking forward to going with you, but I had no one else in mind to invite. Have fun with your family though!” It literally messes with your brain, almost like they’re gaslighting you in the process.
8 They don’t initiate conversation.
Texting is a type of conversation, and all parties involved must be active in making things work. So, if you constantly notice that you’re always the one making the first move, like saying hi or good morning or asking how their day’s been going, you may want to reevaluate this person.
Because spoiler: talking to a non-responsive person, even when you’ve talked things out about this issue, is a texting red flag. Even more so when it’s been a while since you’ve been seeing each other, and you never put the first piece of chess forward.
9 They don’t respect your non-texting times.
We’re not always on our phones. In fact, it’s encouraged not to be so glued to it because we forget to live in the moment. But besides the point, we have lives and needs outside our phones that we need to prioritize to live a good life. For example, you’re unavailable from 3-5 pm due to work-related matters or a meeting. Yet the person you’re seeing (and told this piece of info beforehand) doesn’t consider it and still asks what’s up or can you do this for me asap.
It’s possible they can text you out of emergency, but if it’s not, then it’s a big no-no. Especially when you’re in deep with the flow of your tasks.
10 They tend to text you only late at night.
Girl, it’s giving hook-up vibes. They can be drunk too, not taking you seriously as a potential partner. Or in the worst-case scenario, they’re already in a relationship and hiding your conversations with them. Hence, I only choose to converse with you at night to avoid any risks.
For sure, you wouldn’t want to settle down with people like this. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this guide when looking for your person.
11 They give you one-word responses.
If you’re talking to someone who only texts back with one word and not sentences or phrases, you may want to consider where you’re at with them. Such responses may indicate that they’re not as interested in you as you would’ve expected or are too busy to put any effort into you. And so we ask you: is this person really worth it? Yeah, that’s what we thought.
12 They leave you on read.
This texting red flag is already such a strong one, an annoying one that frustrates you and even dictates your mood for the entire day. Because for sure, the person you’re talking to would’ve at least opened the conversation and perhaps responded that they’ll get back to you soon when they’re more available. Like that’s on being decent and respectful.
But no, they choose to ignore you, and that’s a message that speaks volumes.
Tips When Faced With Texting Red Flags (Or To Avoid Them)
When you notice any of the texting above red flags as you get to know someone virtually, remember these tips on handling it safely and effectively down below.
1 Set boundaries.
This tip can assert your self-worth and protect you from harm’s way.
Setting texting-related boundaries can look like:
- “I’m more available to talk after 5 pm.”
- “I’d appreciate if you don’t send constant texts and get mad if my replies are slow.”
- “I’d really like it if you put in some effort to initiate conversation with me if you want to get to know me better.”
2 Reflect on what your relationship deal breakers are.
Before getting into a potential relationship and texting them, evaluating your relationship deal breakers can filter out prospects that don’t align with the traits you’re looking for. May it be an over-clingy person or someone who doesn’t reciprocate the same kind of energy in conversing with you, knowing your deal breakers can save you the time and effort of dealing with texting red flags in the first place.
3 Communicate with them.
Texting red flags can manifest over time, not on the spot. Hence, communicating with them lets you express exactly how you’re feeling with them so you can make progress and change. That way, the prevalence of those red flags will lessen, and the blossoming relationship will improve into a healthier one over time.
4 Listen to your intuition.
Your intuition signals your body if something feels off with something or someone. They’re like your guardian angel, wherein there’s something more than what meets the eye. Usually, they work at your best intentions to protect you so you may want to note what they’re telling you. Specifically, if they’re noticing texting red flags, that’s the sign to reflect and check your conversations to fully understand the situation.
5 Know when enough is enough.
There may be that one person you thought you’d have a deeper connection with, even if you spoke to them about your texting-related concerns. For them not to put in the work and fix them, it can just be a waste of time and effort. It can also emotionally affect you even more, so you must decide when to forfeit this relationship.
In the worst-case scenario, blocking them can give you peace of mind and closure. But you can also politely tell them that what you have going on isn’t working out and that it’s best to part ways. Despite their reaction (because it’s possible for a negative one), stick to your guts fully and prioritize your needs moving forward.
6 Seek professional support.
More than ever, you shouldn’t isolate yourselves when you’re dealing with something as challenging as texting red flags. Because hey, a red flag is still a red flag. And sometimes, even putting your own efforts may not be enough. Thus, seeing a professional like a psychologist can be helpful as you navigate this rough patch in your life.
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Takeaway
Texting red flags enlightens you on what to avoid when you’re still in the talking stage or already considering a relationship. And a red flag is a red flag! Through proper communication, setting boundaries, and knowing your deal breakers, you’ll avoid falling into that trap.
For more relationship-related guides like this one, check us out on the Lauvblog here.