Ever Heard of Sex Journaling? This Guide Has Your Back

Sex journaling is about reflecting internally on your sex life and persona, seeing what’s going right, what’s worrying you, and what you can let go of. 

Definitely, a more mature approach to journaling or having a diary when you were younger wherein you’d randomly and happily free-write. It’s also more focused on your internal energy before getting physical with yourself. Yet you unravel more about yourself in a way no one else can, and that’s powerful. 

If you want to get started on this journey, keep reading our fun, short guide about it.

Benefits of Sex Journaling

Let’s unravel the good effects of committing to this enlightening activity on the daily.

1 You uncover more about your sexual interests and sex drive.

Depending on what sorts of journal prompts you follow, sex journaling ventures through the inner depths of your sexual persona. What turns you on? What can easily make you say no to the deed? What movies got you into this kink? Do you want to dominate or be dominated? Do you choose to be on top or bottom when exploring various sex positions? Before getting into physical exploration, you can do some internal work if you’re a bit nervous and intimidated by the world of sex.

As for your sex drive, you can assess how you’ve been feeling when you have sex, whether solo or partnered. Is it something that you find enjoyable or done out of curiosity to avoid FOMO? 

It’s also done to observe any patterns as you do the deed. Maybe you’ve noticed that your body is a lot more sensitive during your period and avoid anything sexual during it. Or perhaps you like having more rough, passionate sex than love-making, preferring to reserve the latter on special occasions (e.g., birthdays, celebrating milestones, etc.) 

You may even realize that using your favorite sex toy in the middle of the night when you’re struggling to sleep gets you back at it!

2 You come clean with what may be holding you back.

Sex journaling can include shadow work, wherein Elizabeth Perry from Better Up defines as a practice that “involves working with your unconscious mind to uncover the parts of yourself that you repress and hide from yourself.”

It’s been said that doing shadow work first can make journaling feel more authentic and relieving since you’ve released all your inner darkness. That way, you can heal and move on, living a more peaceful life.

Adding sex into the mix, shadow work can look like fully talking about your insecurities about your body, jotting down the different ways you’ve felt guilty when sex is brought up, and breaking down negative sexual experiences.

3 You can communicate better with your partners.

Talking to your partner about your thoughts on sex can be daunting, especially when you can’t control their reactions and can’t predict what happens after. 

However, listing down your thoughts on the sex you’re having feels more secure and honest. Your judgment is clearer rather than clouded. You also have a deeper understanding of what you’d want to improve when you write it down on paper. 

At least the talk about making some changes has opened up, and you’d eventually feel more courageous about bringing it up with your partner. It’s also a lot more organized than messy, in which the latter can cause conflict and misunderstandings in a relationship. And we don’t want that!

4 You feel more comfortable with talking about sex.

Journaling is a way to learn ourselves better and document where we are at life. Knowing who we are gives us confidence and security when life hands us challenges, keeping us grounded. As for sex journaling, we garner a better understanding of what our sexual interests and disinterest consist of and why certain sexual quirks are a yes or no for us. 

The more open we can be with ourselves and our journal, the more comfortable you’d feel to bring it up verbally with other people.

5 You process your feelings a lot better and clearer.

In general, journaling has been a powerful tool for expressing one’s thoughts and feelings throughout life. It encourages honesty and freedom of expression when sharing their various life experiences without hindering them, bringing relief and joy afterwards. 

With sex journaling, you can expound on your past or recent sexcapades (solo or partnered) in any way you choose. It’s a safe space free of judgment since it’s just you writing and reading it back. 

If you decide to talk about your past sexcapades, you can recount what went right and what you wished occurred. Then by talking about the future, you may narrate your ideal sexcapade with all sorts of sexual fantasies you like or how you can be a more responsive and communicative partner. Sharing your masturbation fantasies counts too.

6 You document your growth.

While living in the moment is great, documenting bits and pieces of your life in the present is worth keeping and cherishing in the coming days. In regards to sex journaling, you jot down what your sexual side was like then, and now, so you have something that’ll keep you grounded and proud of yourself as you keep going.

Prompts for Sex Journaling

When you’re ready to begin this activity, browse through this section for some insightful prompts.

1. Do you view sex as something positive, negative, or somewhere in between?
2. What are some factors you consider when determining the ideal sexcapade?
3. What feelings arise when you’re preparing to have sex?
4. Have you experienced shame and guilt when you think of sex? Where are they rooted from?
5. Do you have any sexual fantasies that you enjoy? Have you tried them out solo? Or with a partner? What fantasies have you yet to try?
6. What are your ideal traits in a partner?
7. Would you rather have sex with someone you’re in a serious relationship with about or sleep around casually but safely?
8. What was your first time like?
9. How do you want your foreplay to act out?
10. What was your first sex toy, and what was it like playing it as a beginner?
11. Have you done aftercare? Do you have a favorite way of doing this step?
12. What was something you wished you had learned a lot sooner as you became more educated and aware about sex?

Tips For Effective and Fun Sex Journaling

Make each sex journaling experience a breath of fresh air through some helpful tips down below.

1 Keep your journal in a safe place. 

Especially if you live with other people, the last thing you’d want to happen is for them to read as if it’s a book. Your sex journal is a part of your private belongings, so keeping it in a drawer in your room or anywhere no one else would touch is the way to go.

2 Go with the flow.

Your stream of thought when you journal is strong and deep, so get super immersed and connected with it. Even if you make any grammar mistakes, you can always correct them afterward. Try not to leave anything out, either, because sometimes journaling is best unfiltered.

3 Schedule it.

Having a set time during the day (or night) to journal shows that it’s a priority to you. Moreover, you get to truly connect with yourself without any external distractions getting in the way.

4 Always try a new prompt.

Following this tip, whenever you make a journal entry, opens up a different aspect of who you are. It’s very much possible that there is so much to say. For example, this new prompt asks about where your sexual guilt comes from. And alas, it can come from family taboos or a not-so-good relationship.

5 Be honest with yourself.

Like girl, just let the words flow out of you. Don’t mask yourself as this perfect person who has it all figured out just so you can fool the future you. In every journal entry you make, releasing everything piling up on your chest and mind into paper frees your mental space and makes more room for clarity. It also shows your true self no matter how messy you can get, as you are still a normal human being with flaws and strengths. 

6 Get creative!

It doesn’t always have to be words filling up the pages! You can design your journal entry and even draw or paste photos related to your topics. Doing this tip also makes the experience thrilling when it becomes a part of your routine.

Takeaway

Sex journaling is a unique experience that can look different to a lot of people. Regardless, it releases some sex-related steam and also recounts the good memories of someone’s sex journey. You may follow some prompts we shared above and choose to do this task at any time of day, even doing it consistently to make it a habit!

For more mind-opening guides like this one, be sure to check us out on the Lauvblog over here!