Meeting the Parents 101: 15 Effective Ways to Make It Successful

There’s nothing more nerve-wracking than the idea of meeting the parents of your partner. Even more so during the holidays!

It’s easy to think of what could go wrong rather than what could go right while also wanting to make a good impression. They are important people in your partner’s lives, and it’s usually a make-or-break situation. The last thing you’d want to face (or rather your partner) is an ultimatum: their parents or you.

Okay, we kinda went way too ahead of ourselves here. But then again, there are nerves and worries linked to the thought of meeting your partner’s parents. It’s inevitable, but not impossible to get through. And that’s why we’re here to help.

This article serves as your 101 guide to Meeting the Parents — its importance, the ideal time frame to do it, tips on making it successful, and how to cope when things unexpectedly turn upside down.

What Makes Meeting the Parents So Important?

Read this section to understand just how crucial meeting your partner’s parents is.

1 They’re the vital and formative people in your partner’s lives. 

Whether it be both parents or one of them, they’ve supported your partner through thick and thin before you entered the picture. So doing so is an act of respect and honor.

2 It’s a way to get to know each other.

Considering that your partner is someone you’d want to be with for a long time, you’ll have to include everything else that comes along with it. Or rather, everyone especially their parents. Instead of viewing this occurrence with fear, shift it to something more hopeful. You’re letting a few more people into your life who may add more meaning and positivity to your life. At the same time, you catch on to certain quirks of theirs that are passed on to your partner.

Pushing aside the nerves paves the way for all sorts of opportunities.

3 It shows how serious you are with your partner.

Meeting the parents is almost like one of the boss levels of being in a relationship. Passing it with flying colors guarantees full support from their parents and relief from any stress beforehand about it. Alongside this, meeting the parents would mean that you’re ready for something more long-term and long-lasting with their child. It’s not something fleeting or temporary, even eager to be a part of the family one day. as they are important people in their life.

When Is Meeting The Parents Ideal?

It’s best to introduce one another to their parents once you and this special someone are in a serious, exclusive relationship. But not after you’ve gotten engaged or anything; that’s way too late, and you don’t want to instill that kind of shock! 

Somewhere in the middle is great, where you and your partner are more stable and certain with each other. Because meeting the parents is a huge step, the two of you have to be in a happy and healthy place together. Your parents and theirs only wish their child to have a fulfilling relationship with the right person for the long future ahead.

Tips on How to Make Meeting The Parents Successful

Browse through this list to learn how to have a triumphant first meeting with your partner’s parents.

1 Seek knowledge from your partner.

Every family experiences okay and not-so-okay things in life. In turn, they decide what to discuss and what not to discuss during family meetings. So in advance, it helps to ask your partner about those touchy subjects so you can steer clear of them. Especially when you’re meeting the parents for the first time, where impressions matter most.

For sure, you wouldn’t want to bring up finances or religions since those are topics that can be heavy. Other topics to avoid could be past relationships, personal insecurities, or any controversial issues that might cause tension.

Alongside this, you can ask your partner about your parents’ characteristics, careers, interests, and hobbies. It’ll be great to weave them into your conversations with them on d-day, even more so if you share any of the same interests with them! Those are major plus points, at least on their end.

2 Be yourself.

Simple, yet there can be a tendency to sugarcoat yourself to make yourself more appealing to them. By all means, don’t! Continue being the person your partner fell in love with, allowing their parents to understand just why they did. This is your chance to show your true colors and personality. For example, if you’re someone who likes to bake, you can bring homemade pastries during your meeting.

Pretending to be someone else is a lot more exhausting and stressful than the process of meeting their parents. It’s also unfair on their end, even more so when you get caught.

3 Be punctual.

Being on time plays a powerful role in meeting the parents. Being punctual means that they prioritize the task at hand and the potential people involved. In this case, it shows that they prioritize the parents of their partner and that their meeting is of utmost importance. Bonus points if they arrive a few minutes earlier than expected. Especially if you’re a Filipino who’s familiar with “Filipino time,” which refers to the cultural habit of being late for social events, avoiding this trap can put you at a high rank on their list.

But in case there’s an emergency or an instance out of your control that occurs (e.g., traffic), do give a heads-up ahead of time. And don’t forget to apologize genuinely for the unfortunate time constraint.

4 Dress the part.

It’s important to note what kind of meeting you’ll have. Is it at your partner’s house? At a fancy restaurant? Or even somewhere more outdoors?

Having an idea of the dress code and wearing clothes in prim condition shows that you value being put together and groomed to the best of your abilities. It also gives the impression that this meeting is important to you, and you want to put your best foot forward.

From following a potential dress code, you can find items that you fit and make you feel your best. The confidence you get from them stays with you when you meet their parents. And oh, it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.

5 Phones out!

Meeting the parents requires your utmost presence, so keep your phone in your pocket in the meantime. Go on to do not disturb mode so you can fully be in the moment when you are conversing with each other. But in case you receive an emergency call or text, be polite as you momentarily step out.

6 Set a light-hearted mood.

There’s a lot of awkwardness and anxiety when meeting new people, even more so when they’re the parents of your partner. You can start by giving them a genuine smile and shaking their hands as you meet them. Maybe a hug if they’re the one who insists on one. 

7 Ask their parents questions.

This tip allows you to know a lot more about their family, not just about your partner. In turn, it makes you more invested in them as time passes. Plus, their parents enjoy being nostalgic, especially when you ask questions about your partner during their youth. Even if it sparks embarrassment from them, it’s inevitable when meeting the parents! They may even bring out old photos, encouraging more bonding and connection-building. 

In turn, they may ask you questions about yourself. Be just as active and honest in responding to them.

8 Compliment them!

Not in a plastic and over-the-top way, but complimenting your partner’s parents upon meeting them can spread a lot of positivity during your meeting. It can be how relaxing they make the room to be or how amazing they look in their outfit. 

9 Go with the flow.

When you talk to any parent or both of them, follow their lead in how far they want to talk about themselves. Being a good listener here is a strong pro when meeting the parents. But of course, don’t be deadma and not interact with them in return. You may share as much as you want when given the platform, but when the topic changes, run with that switch. There should be that balance in talking and listening here.

10 Talk about the best qualities of your partner.

Sharing what you like about your partner, may it be their quirks or funny memories you’ve shared with them, paves the way for a great, first impression. After all, their partner is their child. From their perspective, it’s heartwarming to hear about good things about your child. For instance, you can tell them how amazing your partner is at impersonating actors or the silly way they move their bodies to your favorite songs on the radio.

When the mood is set, you can also state your intentions with their child.

11 Help out in the house.

If you’re meeting the parents at your partner’s house, it’s heartfelt to offer help before, during, or after it. Help varies, so it’s up to you to find an open opportunity. And even if they reject the assistance, the thought still counts. It shows their parents that you’re always there when your partner (their child) needs you, whether it was asked or done out of instinct.

Helping out around the house can involve setting the table, bringing food from the kitchen to the dining room, and cleaning the dishes.

12 Lay off or minimize your alcohol intake.

It’s possible that at some point during your meeting, drinks will be served. You may want to take one to cover up those bubbling nerves, but you gotta make sure not to go too crazy. Alcohol makes you sluggish and disoriented, which is not a good look you can serve to your partner’s parents. Sticking to 1 glass or not having a drink are some options you can resort to.

13 Bring them a gift.

This tip on meeting the parents is usually a bonus, but doing it serves as a polite gesture that sets a positive note for the entire meeting. And who doesn’t like gifts? It shows that you’re attentive and appreciative of them and the time they’re taking out of their day or night to meet you. 

It helps to ask your partner what their parents are into so the gift feels more personal and thoughtful.

14 Don’t forget to check in with your partner.

Alongside making a good impression towards your partner’s parents, remember to connect with your partner in between. They’re definitely just as nervous as you are since their parents are involved, so reassure them and squeeze their hand if they’re sitting right beside you.

15 Relax and have fun!

Easier said than done, but as you’re in the zone with your partner’s parents, there are moments for you to be at ease and fully enjoy them. Plus, this meeting is a long-term special milestone in your relationship. It’s fleeting, just like the nerves you may be experiencing. And quite possibly, your partner’s parents are just as nervous about meeting you and want to make a great impression as well.

But before the actual meeting, you may practice deep breathwork or meditation to ground you and calm your senses. You may also talk to your partner on the way to the meeting to release tension.

What If The First Meeting With Parents Didn’t Turn Out Well?

For one, don’t be too hard on yourself. Easier said than done, but you did the best you could during that meeting. Give yourself grace and compassion as well because such meetings can really be mentally challenging. If in the case you said things you didn’t mean or didn’t know would bring hurt, do give your sincerest apologies immediately.

Overall, you’ll be able to recover from the embarrassment and other negative emotions during this instance. And breaking news: you can always try again. View the previous meeting as a lesson to do and be better, taking note of what is okay and what isn’t.

Takeaway

Meeting the parents can be a scary feat. Even if your partner comforts and reassures you through it, the nerves and anxiety around it can be strong. But not to worry—there are many ways to set a good impression on them. Yet it’s really important to be yourself all throughout it. Because honesty and authenticity toward yourself also transcend the intentions you hold toward your partner.

For more relationship or culture-related guides such as this one, you can check us out over on the Lauvblog right here.