Self-Bondage for Beginners: Types, Suggested Sex Toys, & Tips

Disclaimer: Please approach self-bondage with caution; always have an escape plan ready in case of emergencies. Ideally, have a trusted partner assist with these techniques before fully going solo. Not only that, but always ensure you are sober and using the appropriate sex toys or BDSM equipment. This blog is not a substitute for professional advice from a BDSM expert or a formal BDSM class. We strongly recommend consulting an expert to help you get started. Additional resources, including links for further reading, will be provided below. 

With the popularity of the Fifty Shades trilogy and “dark romance” novels, bondage has become a common curiosity. For those who aren’t ready to share this with a partner or are single, self-bondage might be the next best thing.

Can you tie yourself up? Yes, but self-bondage is an intricate activity with potential risks. That said, here’s a quick guide on what it involves, some recommended toys, and tips to keep it safe and fun.

What is Self-Bondage & Its Types?

Self-bondage is exactly what it sounds like: a sexual activity that involves restraining yourself using cuffs, ropes, chains, and other appropriate BDSM equipment. Depending on your preferences, you can get tied up and relax, have a partner play with your body, or stimulate yourself with sex toys, such as thrusting vibrators and love eggs.

According to selfbound.net, there are two main types of self-bondage:

• Sensual Self-Bondage – In this type, the means to escape are easily accessible, so you don’t have to wait long to untie yourself or retrieve a key from your cuffs. It’s ideal for those who enjoy the physical sensations of being tied up.
• Strict Self-Bondage – This involves more complex and extended sessions, where you may need to wait a specific time or perform a task to escape. People who engage in this type enjoy the feeling of helplessness and the challenge of being unable to escape easily. It’s often associated with those who have humiliation or degradation kinks.

Why People Engage to It

Individuals who engage in self-bondage have their own reasons or stories behind why they enjoy the practice. In online forums, some participants share that they’re not yet ready to open up about their deepest interests to a partner, so they privately turn to self-bondage to fulfill those needs.

Others describe experiencing a sexual high from the physical sensations that bondage brings—like the tightness of ropes on their skin, holding uncomfortable positions for extended periods, or simply the thrill of being restrained, which offers a unique kind of arousal beyond conventional sexual activities.

Self-Bondage Sex Toys

After discussing the possible reasons someone might engage in self-bondage, you may reflect on whether you’d like to explore this practice. If you find that this practice doesn’t align with your desires or comfort level, that’s completely okay! Always prioritize what feels right for you.

For those curious and ready to try self-bondage, the first step is understanding the types of restraints commonly used in this practice. This knowledge will help you choose the tools that best suit your experience level and personal preferences.

1Handcuffs

Handcuffs are pairs of metal or plastic rings connected by a chain or hinge, designed to restrict a person’s hand movement. These rings can be secured with padlocks, Velcro pads, or satin ties.

Handcuffs are among the most commonly used restraints in BDSM and are frequently depicted in erotic films and series. They are also a popular choice for beginners exploring self-bondage. Javay Frye-Nekrasova, a sex educator for Lovehoney, shared in an interview with Cosmopolitan: “I recommend starting with Velcro, satin ties, or quickie cuffs, as they are easy to get in and out of.”

2BDSM Rope

Another popular choice for self-bondage and bondage play in general is BDSM rope. It comes in various materials like hemp, jute, linen, silk, nylon, and cotton, each offering its own stretch, texture, and appearance. Its versatility makes it an ideal tool for self-bondage, as you can tie almost any body part. However, ropes can be trickier to get out of compared to handcuffs.

3BDSM Tape

Another interesting restraint item is BDSM tape, which has a unique feature: it sticks to itself but not to your skin or hair. This makes it a more comfortable option for restraint during play.

4Spreader Bar

As the name suggests, a spreader bar is a metal or wooden bar with cuffs attached to each end. When worn, it forces your body to spread your arms or legs wide. In self-bondage, it’s most commonly used on the ankles.\

5Scarves, Plastic Wrap, and Other Non-BDSM Restraints

If you’re on a budget or prefer to experiment with household items, you can still enjoy self-bondage. While scarves, belts, or plastic wrap might do the trick, remember that proper restraints are more durable, reliable, and designed for comfort. Household items can sometimes be harsh on the skin or less secure during use.

Tips

Got your restraints ready? Here are some essential tips to keep in mind.

1Keep on researching.

This guide has given you the basic information you might need about self-bondage, but there’s so much more to know—basic techniques, release methods, and other ways to amp up the sensations.

However, we want to leave these techniques to the masters of the craft, some of whom have already provided intense guides for beginners and experienced kinksters alike. Here are some resources to check out:

• Self-Bondage Basics by boundanna.com
• Self-Bondage Techniques by Like Ra’s Naughty Playground
• Selfbondage Techniques by Selfbound.net

The list above isn’t exhaustive, and there’s still a lot more information available online, as well as in actual BDSM classes, that you might need to know. You can also check the dedicated subreddit r/selfbondage for more details and inspiration, as many members share their experiences, scenarios, and restraint setups.

2Have a spotter or trusted contact on standby for emergencies.

The idea of having a partner during self-bondage sessions might seem counterintuitive, but first-timers are actually encouraged to have a partner or spotter, preferably someone experienced with basic bondage.

This ensures someone can check on you, make sure you’re using the right tying techniques, and assist in case of minor mishaps. They can watch— which can add an extra spicy element if you think about it— or even get involved by teasing you with a tickler or stimulating your body with their hands and sex toys.

But if you’re set on doing it privately, make sure there’s someone within shouting distance, like a live-in partner or roommate. Alternatively, have someone on speed dial in case of an emergency where you need assistance to escape.

3Keep your phone, safety scissors, spare keys, and other essentials easily accessible.

Another crucial step when engaging in self-bondage is keeping all safety items within reach. These include your phone, spare key, knife, or safety shears/scissors that can cut through rope. So, if you need to quickly get out of your restraints, you have all the tools necessary for that to happen.

4Keep it slow and simple—the knots, the restraints, and the entire session.

One common mistake in self-bondage is doing too much too soon. Some people go all out by restraining their ankles and wrists, adding mouth gags, or even blindfolds.

While the idea of full-body self-bondage might appeal to some, it’s also highly risky! Even if you’ve tried self-bondage before, it’s best to keep it simple—stick to 1-2 restraints per session.

Don’t also over-complicate or over-tighten your knots when using ropes. Ensure there’s enough space for one or two fingers to fit between the rope and your skin. Overly tight knots can cause rope burn— a painful irritation or injury caused by friction when the rope rubs against your skin.

Lastly, take your first few sessions slow. It’s perfectly fine to be cautious, as self-bondage can carry significant risks. Rushing through it might lead to accidents like slipping while still restrained or tying a knot too tightly, so stay mindful throughout the deed.

5Dress and decorate for the session.

Shifting gears from safety tips, dressing up in your sexiest lingerie or a leather bodysuit, and setting the mood with some sultry lighting can elevate your self-bondage experience. Just because you’re going solo doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to a seductive session!

6Pay attention.

Listen to your body! While bondage can come with mild discomfort, any intense pain or sense that something isn’t right should be a clear signal to remove the restraints immediately. There could be a physical or psychological issue affecting your session. Remember, you can always try again later, but pushing yourself too far can lead to serious consequences.

7Stay composed and focused if there’s a mishap.

In case of an accident or minor mishap, staying calm is key. Having your safety essentials ready should help you free yourself quickly. However, if you need assistance, don’t hesitate to contact someone. Yes, it might feel awkward, but your safety is far more important!

Takeaway

Self-bondage offers a unique way to explore your kinky desires, but it’s also one of the riskiest activities in the kink world, as it’s typically done without a partner or spotter. That’s why we recommend starting with simple techniques and gradually progressing as you gain experience.

If having a partner to supervise isn’t an option, ensure someone is within shouting distance, prepare essential safety tools like a spare key and safety shears, and stay mindful throughout the session. Prioritizing safety will make the experience more secure and pleasurable!