10 Evolving Signs of Emotional Maturity That’ll Aid Your Emotional Growth

If there’s one thing everyone should work on as part of their personal development, it’s emotional maturity. When you have a high level of it, you can handle a lot of things, and you learn new things about yourself in the process. In a world that still praises repressing and hiding your emotions, it’s time to break the cycle.

This guide unravels more about this ability, including where emotional maturity is rooted, the key traits of such a person, and more.

What is Emotional Maturity?

BetterUp defines emotional maturity as “having the self-control to manage your emotions and work to understand them.”

Simply put, you’d work on managing your emotions regardless of the circumstances and situations you find yourself in. You would not identify them as weaknesses but as valuable stepping stones that build your character. What we may not have known then would be vital as we continue living since we already have acquired knowledge. Such maturity goes hand in hand with emotional intelligence, taking in every lesson and letting it guide us in the future. 

Emotional maturity is a part of life that is constantly evolving. As early as infancy, we are able to express our emotions through babbles, giggles, spirited body movements, and more. Then we are taught about certain behaviors and attitudes that are good and bad. Further on, we learn how to manage our emotions when facing various situations.

Why Does Emotional Maturity Matter?

Emotional maturity isn’t something one takes lightly. 

Without it, you’re more likely to become easily stressed over everything and struggle with overcoming it. Stress also represses negative emotions, which makes things worse. That’s because you don’t allow any help from anyone out of fear and pride, thinking that you can handle everything on your own.

But that’s not the case! Emotional maturity gives you a sense of understanding and even the bravery to seek help when necessary. Most importantly, it deeply allows you to be in touch with your emotions. From there, you can be more honest with yourself and regulate your mood a lot better. Plus, it reinforces the idea that only you know yourself best, and awareness is key to your emotions rather than apprehension. That awareness makes you live a more fulfilling and optimistic life.

Factors That Contribute to Emotional Maturity

Read through the determining factors of one’s emotional maturity through this section.

1 Nutrition and Health

Montage Health states that having proper nutrition promotes overall mental health, especially for developing children. And by mental health, your emotional health is also included, which would affect your emotional maturity.

Eating the proper food as early as a child would become extra beneficial as you age. Proper food focuses on fiber, fruit, vegetables, and healthy protein, which can provide the necessary nutrients for your mental health to flourish. They can make you less cranky and more in control of how you feel. 

Having time to spend with your family as you eat such proper food is vital as it encourages conversation and bond-building with them. It slows down time even for a bit and teaches you to be more present in the moment, checking in on with them and what they’ve been up to.

2 Environment

How and where we grow up shapes how we express our emotions. If we grew up in an honest and safe household, we would feel free to open up about how we feel and talk about anything to our heart’s content. Over time, you’d have happy and reliable relationships with everyone in your home. 

However, if we live in a strict, authoritarian household that encourages everyone to suppress their emotions, we’re more likely to keep those emotions pent up to avoid conflict. There’s also that fear of speaking freely due to judgment and getting reprimanded as well.

We mainly imitate or go with the flow of what is good and acceptable at home and around us and avoid what is unacceptable, even if it is subjective.

3 Unfavorable Childhood Experiences

In other words, that’s what you refer to as childhood trauma. Depending on their degree, these experiences can take a long time to overcome. It may even be challenging to face again when it comes to the surface once again.

Most of the time, the root of childhood trauma can come from emotionally immature or absent parents. Those are the people who are meant to serve as your main role models growing up, yet they neglect your needs nor give you a safe space to express yourself. 

An example is when they make a mistake, like forgetting to pick you up at school on time. They end up picking you up when almost the whole school has left but without any apologies on their end. They may have their reasons for being late, yet their tardiness can shift your mood and affect your routine for the day. And by not having any ounce of empathy or guilt, it makes you feel unworthy. 

Even if you bring it up, they’ll shut you down and even gaslight you in the process. This type of response from them would then make it difficult to process and address your emotions. It also builds up trust issues and loneliness.

Alongside this, such kind of parents are unaware that some of their methods of parenting, especially old-fashioned ones, bring you long-term distress. For example, they spank you with a belt or confiscate something valuable if you commit a mistake. Hence, it makes you apprehensive about your every move.

4 Successful Relationships

Aside from family, having and nurturing your relationships with other loved ones can determine your emotional maturity. Such loved ones can be your other relatives, friends, and other relevant adult figures. That’s because you cherish your bond and take the steps to strengthen it. So by having a history of such relationships, it’s a strong indicator that you are an emotionally mature person.

5 Attachment Style

The way you bond with your main caregivers (e.g., parents) and how strong and healthy you are influences not only how you build adult relationships but also your emotional maturity.

For example, if you feel understood and seen by your caregivers, you have the secure attachment style. That’s because you felt safe and secure with them. As a result, you’re very much attuned to your emotions and aren’t afraid to be emotionally honest with anyone.

On the other hand, if you had uptight caregivers who restricted you from asking for help or got mad at you if you depended on them, you may have the avoidant attachment style. As a result, they only rely on themselves and don’t like to become vulnerable to anyone in any way.

Key Traits of Emotional Maturity in a Person

Browse through this section to learn more about the top characteristics of an emotionally mature person.

1 They own up to their mistakes.

Many of us tend to keep our pride up when we make mistakes because we don’t like to accept defeat or get scolded. But when you have a high level of emotional maturity, you’re able to take accountability for those mistakes. Rather than resorting your blame elsewhere, you’d admit to what went wrong and seek ways on how to mend the situation right away. Blame is temporary, but the actions you do after are what will make an impact moving forward.

Another pro here is that it makes resolving any conflicts that arise easier because you’d choose to admit your faults, not prolonging the anger and tension any further.

2 They have emotional boundaries.

Boundaries in general protect us from doing anything we aren’t comfortable with. They may be difficult to set, but having these boundaries in stone strongly indicates that a person is emotionally mature. Additionally, such boundaries show how much self-respect you have and that you won’t let anyone take advantage of or manipulate you. 

Some examples of emotional boundaries include:

• Saying no to things you don’t like
• Having private time or me time
• Not letting anyone dictate or invalidate how you feel

3 They’re empathetic.

Someone with a high level of emotional maturity prioritizes being a good person and focusing on being a positive influence on others. They do that by helping them out in any way you can. This can be channeled further with empathy, wherein they try to put themselves in the shoes of the person they’re helping out. You pick up on their cues and listen to them so that when you understand what they’re going through, you can find solutions to help them.

4 They’re not afraid of being vulnerable.

Ah, vulnerability. 

It’s a no-brainer that many of us fear it because we want to guard ourselves from being hurt. However, it’s a trait that’s strongly associated with emotional maturity. Opening up and expressing how you feel to others isn’t only a way to bond closer to someone, but it also shows that you have weaknesses. And that’s okay! There’s no such thing as a perfect person anyway. 

And besides, it encourages honesty and trust between you and this person, that you’re alone in life and you have each other’s backs.

5 They’re aware of their needs.

People with emotional maturity know what they need to keep running in their daily lives. From here, they prioritize filling their cups when necessary, so they freely ask for help. For example, you’ve been doing household chores the whole day and now need a power nap because you feel sleepy. If you’re doing chores with another person, you let them know how you feel so they can give you that much-needed rest. 

In order to recognize and attend to your needs, it’s also important to listen to your body language at the moment. Never run on an empty cup to avoid burnout.

6 They’re able to manage their stress.

Stress can change your current personality as it takes away the peace of the moment. But instead of falling victim to it and causing you to act negatively, emotional maturity ensures you know what steps to take when under stress, regardless of its degree. 

That’s because when you know your emotions, especially the bad ones, you don’t let them dictate you. You dictate how you want to control them because you wouldn’t want to make things worse for you.

To illustrate, let’s say you gained stress after forgetting your packed lunch for work. There’s that urge to blame yourself because you prepared it beforehand and your morning mindlessness slipped that detail out of your head. However, an emotionally mature person would set a reminder next time on their phone so they won’t forget and also buy another meal at the moment. Don’t starve yourselves!

7 They can regulate their emotions.

Rather than being swayed by their emotions, emotionally mature people take time to clear their heads. That way, they’ll be able to approach any situation with a clear mind. Hence, they mainly appear calm and get what they need to do successfully.

For example, you had an argument with your partner. Instead of raising your voices in hopes of winning over the other, both of you would step away from each other and get some space. You’d prioritize diffusing all those negative emotions through healthy coping mechanisms, like drinking water, getting some fresh air, or even a shower. Give each other some time, and then when you’re both ready, you can comfortably bring up your dilemma and devise better ways to solve it.

8 They know their emotions don’t define them.

Emotions are fluid; they come and go. But if we become too consumed by them, especially our negative ones, we begin to think that we are them. That our identity is linked to our emotions. However, that is not true. Rather than attaching that idea to ourselves, the best way to shift that idea is that we are just someone experiencing those emotions. Again, they come and go. They don’t define us. 

Like if we get jealous over something we don’t have, that doesn’t necessarily equate to being a jealous person. But be mindful not to drown yourself in that emotion or there’s a higher chance you’ll cling on to it and you negatively make it a part of your identity.

9 They’re resilient.

When things go wrong, an emotionally mature person accepts them as they are and searches for ways to fix them. After fixing them, they take the proper steps to move on. While they also acknowledge their pain and hurt, they won’t linger on it for too long and let negative emotions cloud their judgment.

1o They’re open to growth.

Someone with high emotional maturity knows that they don’t have all the answers—that there are still things they know nothing about! Hence, they are always eager to look for lessons they learn from every situation or opportunity they encounter. Alongside this, they show no pride or dominance to prove a point and come out on top. Instead, they have an open mind that’s willing to grow from their experiences.

How To Improve Your Emotional Maturity

If you’re eager to improve your emotional maturity, this enlightening section offers the right, actionable steps that you can start taking today.

1 Lower your pride.

By doing this, you’ll be more open-minded and forgiving when you make mistakes. Lowering your pride also paves the way for accountability and responsibility when you’ve committed wrongdoings.

2 Test yourself.

You know yourself best. One way to check in with yourself is through daily journaling, wherein you freely discuss how you feel about your day. You can also try to track down the times you felt bothered and stressed, how you reacted to them, and how you eventually solved them. These entries would give you a better idea of any underlying emotions that are present and how you would thoroughly work through them.

In order to see where your current emotional maturity stands, ask yourself questions about where you stand in life. Some examples of questions include:

• When was the last time I was stressed, and how did I respond to it?
• When things don’t turn out your way, would you blame yourself or those around you?
• How do I cope with negative emotions? Are the mechanisms that are beneficial or harmful to me?

3 Seek professional help.

Especially if you have deeply rooted trauma, getting professional help can aid you massively through your journey to emotional maturity. In this case, seeing a therapist would benefit you as they help challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs and improve your self-esteem.

Takeaway

Emotional maturity is not something we are born with but something we work on to improve day by day. Many factors can affect it, for either good or bad. Regardless, we should use that and our own experiences to shape it for the better.