Let’s Talk About the Ever-So Popular Hookup Culture

At some point in our lives, we’ve engaged in hookup culture. Well, unless you’re saving yourselves for marriage, this article may not resonate with you.

But anyway, we can admit that we’ve had our fair share of hookups. Both good and bad, they were still fun escapes from the world as we simply indulged in our desires. But why not delve a little deeper into it?

In this guide, we’ll discuss hookup culture and how we benefit (and, well, put ourselves at risk) from it. We’ll also share why people enjoy hooking up often and how to do so safely. 

Because safe sex is great sex!

Defining Hookup Culture

Let’s first define what a hookup is. This study from NIH defines hookups as “uncommitted sexual encounters”, which may include “a wide range of sexual behaviors, such as kissing, oral sex, and penetrative intercourse”. In turn, it doesn’t guarantee the usual exclusive romantic relationship.

Hookup culture is the acceptance (and celebration even) of all those various casual sexual encounters. It also frees one from external judgment and commitment. Call it a modern standard of living that many people, mainly young adults, choose to partake in. And it’s almost like a fun jungle, where they can free to roam and run around through the vines of thrilling sexual activities.

Hookup culture can be done through sleeping with numerous people in a short amount of time or sticking to one designated person (aka. having a friends-with-benefits set-up or being fubus/fuck buddies).

Impact of Hookup Culture in Today’s Society

Casual sex is normalized even more so in this current age, which makes it acceptable to most of the younger generations. But at risk would be the eventual desire for something more long-term and serious, especially when we’re exposed to film and television programs that highlight love and romance. Even being exposed to long-term relationships around us, whether from our friends or family, will make us sense a void in our chest. A void that has us longing for something deeper than just hooking up.

But aside from this, seeing that sex can be casual and convenient as long as the parties involved consent to it reduces the stigma around it. So what if you want sex when you want to be entertained? It’s alright as long as there’s safety around it.

Why Do People Engage in Hookup Culture?

There are numerous reasons why they partake in this culture, but this section narrows down the most common reasons behind people’s interest in hookup culture.

1 It’s fun.

Sex, casual or not, is an enjoyable activity to engage in. For one, you release all sorts of feel-good and bonding-related hormones. And regardless of who you’re doing it with, it’s exciting to do something spontaneous and out of your comfort zone without overthinking much.

2 There’s no deep commitment.

Hooking up with someone only means you’ll only have them for the night or on certain nights if you’re friends with benefits. There’s no emotional bonding present here, which lessens any pressure between you two to get together. In turn, it merely focuses on your sexual chemistry and satisfaction, which empowers and drives you to bring your best foot forward in the bedroom.

3 It’s convenient.

From going to the bar or accepting any “retos” from close peers for organic searching to swiping left and right through dating apps, there are so many ways to land a hookup. Hence, it may feel natural to pursue one here and there for a temporary fix overnight.

4 You call the shots.

When you choose to engage in hookup culture, you get to have control of how you navigate your love life. They get to decide who they want to sleep with, where they want it to happen, how long they’ll hook up together, what kind of sexual activities they’ll do, and more. 

More importantly, they get to strongly establish their boundaries so they get stepped over for it. As a result, they feel more confident and respected.

5 They want to get over someone.

For some people, hooking up can ease the pain in their hearts after a breakup. Even more so when they were broken up with for no reason. Serving as a momentary distraction, it can eventually help them heal and grow as people without any messy emotions associated with the person they’re sleeping with. 

Hooking up is also another way to move on from someone they once liked, reminding themselves that there are still other fish in the sea. However, this should be timed well; hooking up immediately after a breakup may seem suspicious and even seen as “disrespectful”.

Pros of Hookup Culture

Let’s unlock some of the fun benefits of hooking up constantly down below.

1 There’s a lot of sexual freedom.

Hookups are the best opportunities to explore and unravel your most sexual self. With proper communication, you and the person you’re sleeping with can take turns trying new kinks and activities. You’ll ensure your desires are met without any expectations or emotional interference. Plus, there’s no limit to the people you can sleep with when you safely engage in hookups. The world is your oyster, in which you can always embark on nouveau things every time. 

For example, you did all sorts of wild sex positions with this one person because they were a kinkster. On the other hand, you had some yummy oral sex with another person in their car just because you’ve never tried car sex.

You’ll ensure your desires are met without any expectations or emotional interference. Plus, there’s no limit to the people you can sleep with when you safely engage in hookups. The world is your oyster, in which you can always embark on nouveau things every time. 

For example, you did all sorts of wild sex positions with this one person because they were a kinkster. On the other hand, you had some yummy oral sex with another person in their car just because you’ve never tried car sex.

2 You can be spontaneous.

A hookup can often be planned on the spot, even more so what you can do once it occurs. There isn’t much to overthink during a hookup, as its unpredictable nature can elicit excitement that embraces the now and lets you go with your gut. For example, you go to the bar with your friends to catch up, then find a cute guy and hit it off immediately. Next thing you know, you’re heading to their place. Moments like this make life worth living.

3 It’s a stress reliever.

Sex, in general, serves as a great distraction when things get overwhelming. It’s also a common reason for people to go into a friends-with-benefits set-up with a hookup as they have easy access to one another and releasing some steam is already effortless. Moreover, hooking up allows you to focus on the pleasure and responsiveness of your body, away from life’s challenges.

4 You learn to communicate better.

Engaging in hookups requires a lot of communication so you and the person you’re sleeping with understand your needs and desires. You also get to express yourself more so they can further comprehend where you’re coming from. Such a skill is beneficial to everyday life, wherein mind-reading gets you nowhere but words do. That way, the actions done are exactly what you or they need. 

Through communication, you also learn the value of giving consent. That’s the most important factor before every sexcapade!

5 You build up your sexual experience.

The more you do something, the better at it you become. 

Sex is no exception to that truth, in which practicing it makes progress. And what better way to practice other than hooking up? Those hookups grant you access to venture your sexual interests and the interests of others. Getting feedback from your hookups also aids when becoming a great hookup. Overall, such practice makes you more confident in your skills and more connected to your sexual self.

Cons of Hookup Culture

Watch out for these disadvantages when partaking in this type of culture.

1 You may contract an STD or a pregnancy scare.

If you’re not careful enough and don’t prioritize sexual safety, then getting such a disease or infection can occur. This outcome may happen if you and the person you’re sleeping with don’t discuss your sexual history beforehand or forego any means of protection like condoms.

The same rules apply when preventing an unexpected pregnancy. The barrier method, aka a condom, decreases the chances of getting pregnant. Experiencing such a scare or actually getting knocked up can lead to a lot of emotional distress and anxiety towards the future. With the latter, you’ll be thrown into a big responsibility without good preparation for it. It also makes the casual relationship you have with the person who got you pregnant more complicated, in which they can either leave you to deal with or navigate the challenging ropes of co-parenting.

2 You may catch feelings.

This con regarding hookup culture is the worst, especially when the person you’re sleeping around with doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Sometimes, the heart will suddenly desire the person you least expect it, even more so with someone you’ve been intimate with. After all, this scenario has become quite common when the boundaries and limits become blurry. Because the more you sleep with them, the closer you get to them.

In turn, catching feelings for the wrong person leads to rejection, which is something no one wants to experience ever in their lives.

3 It’s not for the hopeless romantics.

Hookups do not involve emotional entanglements when you sleep around, which is a deal breaker for those who value romance in their relationships. Since hookups are more physical and casual, hopeless romantics find them unsatisfying and even quite frustrating as they crave to build a deeper, more meaningful connection with someone. In other words, sleeping around casually is not their thing, and they would wait for the right person to come by.

4 There’s an increase in peer pressure.

With hookup culture becoming more common and casual, it may urge some people to forget their own beliefs on sex and follow the herd. If one is more on the romantic side, they may choose to forget that because that might not be enough to experience sex or book a hookup.

At the same time, we feel more tense to conform to such expectations in sex, so we don’t feel out of place nor get judged by those around us.

5 It leads to regret.

There are many ways to feel regret after a hookup. Some realize that such hookups don’t align with their personal values or needs. Others may feel used, making them feel guilty for giving off the impression that they’re “easy” to score. There’s also regret in choosing the right type of person to hook up with, having wasted their time when they could’ve pursued other things.

How to Safely Navigate Through Hookup Culture

Safely breeze through the ropes of hookup culture by taking note of these crucial tips.

1 Always stay open and present when you two communicate.

It’s important that you both always stay aligned by constantly talking about your needs and interests, as they do change over time. You shouldn’t leave anything out and have an open mind to new ideas when they arise because they might just change the way you have sex. Plus, being explorative is a turn-on when you pay close attention to one another.

2 Do a background check on the person you’re sleeping with. 

If you’re always hooking up with someone new, this tip must be done so you can avoid catfishing or predatory-related crimes. If you meet them online, you have to check their profile (should be verified) and their other social media handles, and even confirm with any mutual friends if applicable. It would help if they also sent photos per request. For example, if you ask them for a selfie holding a spoon, they should be able to send it in real-time despite its weird nature. But hey, at least they’re real!

Aside from this, type their name on social media handles to see any activity. It is possible in this day and age for someone to call out bad people online, and the last thing you’d want to see is them being called out. But it does save you the trouble too. Another way this sub-tip can help is by checking if they’re really single because people do lie about their relationship status.

3 Prioritize protection.

Hookups are okay as long as they’re safe and protected. Given that STIs and pregnancy scares are common, using barrier methods like condoms is your best shot at avoiding them. Utilizing hormonal methods of birth control like birth control pills and the after-pill alongside the barrier methods are also effective in keeping you safe.

4 Explore your sexual interests cautiously.

This tip teaches you to understand the value of boundaries when you start discovering your desires. Moreover, you learn the importance of consent and communication when you do so. As a result, you create healthy yet memorable sexual experiences.

5 Let your close companions know about your whereabouts.

In this day and age of technological advancements, there are tracking apps like Life360 that help family and friends check on each other’s locations to make sure they’re safe and sound. Having apps like this can be helpful when your friend is hooking up with someone. You can save them where they are in case they want to bail, or something comes up. 

Aside from tracking apps, texting someone regarding the itinerary of your hookup (meetup place—hookup place) is always helpful so someone can keep tabs on you and be in your stead when needed. It also puts your friends at ease when they know where you are.

Takeaway

Hookup culture has its pros and cons, yet it’s still a preference that one may or may not have when it comes to having sex. It’s okay to be someone who sleeps around often or doesn’t. What matters the most is that you hook up safely and respect one another. 

At the same time, you should be aware of more possible risks when it comes to unmonitored hookups, like STDs, unexpected pregnancies, crossing boundaries, lack of communication, and emotional distress. Other than that, hooking up can be a fun and thrilling escapade to embark on at least once in your life.

For more sex-related guides, head on over to the Lauvblog here.