Dear Dr. Sex,
Greetings! I’m a single person until one day, my group of friends asked me if I ever tried to masturbate and told me to try and use my fingers. I want to ask if it’s safe and can fingering take your virginity? Thank you.
Yours,
Keira
Dear Keira,
Thank you for this question, as it is quite a common query among women. Fingering is when someone uses their finger(s) or hand to stimulate their partner’s vagina. Fingering is considered low-risk, safer sex, which means there’s only a very small chance of spreading infection.
So fingering is a type of safer sex, but it isn’t completely risk-free, so here are some tips to make sure you are fingering-ready:
Allot the time and space for it.
Schedule time for yourself and put it on your calendar. Make time for things that are significant to you and allow yourself the time for your pleasure. Make sure to do it privately and comfortably to really indulge at the moment. It can be your bedroom, but if you share your room with someone else, you may need to use the shower or bathroom as your private place to try fingering techniques.
Practice good hygiene.
Be sure to practice cleanliness before, during, and after fingering. Ensure you have clean hands and trim your nails before starting any hand action on your vulva to avoid infection. After fingering, you must also practice washing your hands and your external genitalia.
Have a good peek at your own genitalia.
We recommend going at it with a curious and open mind. Set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes, grab a hand mirror, and get acquainted with not just the feel but more so the look of your genitalia. And take your time with moving your fingers around your thighs and to your vulva. Play with your labia. Move them around-get a good feel of your body.
Invest in lube.
Lubricants can make your fingering session smoother and simply better! Adding lube to solo fingering or lovemaking can increase pleasure. You can use a drop at the beginning and reapply as needed.
Get in the right headspace.
Think about your erotic fantasies. Get in a headspace where you will fantasize about a particular scenario that gets you going. This could be through reading or listening to erotica, or it could be the things you would be doing with a certain person.
As for getting in the nitty-gritty of fingering, I recommend you check this article as a full guide.
And as for the second question, the answer to this question depends on how you define “virginity.” The concept of “virginity” for vagina owners has a complex history. And this history has often been (incorrectly) linked to breaking the hymen. Bleeding after sexual intercourse was mistaken to be proof of an unbroken hymen. Making it proof that a person had not had sex before or a “virgin.” However, the reality is that the state of your hymen has nothing to do with sexual activity.
It is often difficult to pinpoint and view a hymen. The hymen is located one or two centimeters inside the vaginal opening. It is a thin, crescent-shaped tissue with the color of your flesh. It’s between folds of tissue, labia, and hair, making it difficult to find.
Hymens differ a lot in how they look in different women. Some women might have minimal hymen tissue to begin with. It is also possible for females to break their hymen without knowing. Try looking for your hymen but don’t be surprised if you can’t locate the tiny skinfold.
Inserting fingers or toys into the vagina while masturbating usually does not break the hymen. Penetration can stretch a hymen in some cases.
Women can also experience the gradual diminishing of the hymen due to hormonal changes, puberty, or daily activities. The hymen can be broken in a variety of ways too. Sexual activity (including oral sex, penetration, masturbation, and fingering) can break the hymen, yes, but so can the insertion of a menstrual cup, tampon, or even simple exercising. It is also worth noting that you can break your hymen without even knowing it. It bears repeating: the presence or absence of a hymen does not prove whether someone has engaged in any sexual activity. Female masturbation(like fingering) does not affect your virginity.
Ultimately, there’s no medical definition of “virginity.” Its meaning is all up to you, whether you even choose to give it importance or not. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin or not being one. It’s up to you to decide what “losing your virginity” means to you.
I hope you learned a lot from these points, and I hope I’ve encouraged you to open yourself to new safe, erotic possibilities. I wish you all the best!
Best regards,
Dr. Sex
