Spreader Bar 101: How to Use It & Must-Try Sex Positions

If you’ve watched erotic films, especially those with BDSM themes like Secretary or Fifty Shades of Grey, you’ve probably noticed a special kind of cuffs. Unlike regular handcuffs or ankle cuffs that keep your limbs close together, these force the wearer to spread out and fully expose their body. It gives off that sex dungeon vibe but isn’t as intimidating as other advanced BDSM furniture— we commonly know it as the spreader bar.

What is a Spreader Bar?

A spreader bar is a metal or wooden bar with cuffs on each end to keep your limbs spread apart or “locked” in place. It’s under BDSM restraints, which is a category of BDSM toys designed to immobilize the submissive partner and give the dominant more control during play.

Though this toy comes in different lengths, colors, paddings, and styles, it generally falls into three main types:

• Basic – This type comprises a metal bar with cuffs on each end. It doesn’t have any additional features.
• Expandable – This type is like the basic version, but the bar can extend, allowing you to further spread your legs. Perfect if you want a bit more flexibility in your play.
• Full-Body – This one steps it up with four cuffs, designed to restrain both your wrists, ankles, and even your neck at times, making for a more intense, full-body experience.

How to Use It

Before we share the basic steps of using a spreader bar, please note that this toy is primarily designed for couples. And as with any sexual activity, make sure that both you and your partner have given informed consent before proceeding with the deed.

This guide is also written from the point of view of the partner who’ll be putting the spreader bar on the wearer, so you’ll know what to keep in mind during the experience.

1. Get the wearer into a comfortable position. You could let them lie down, sit down, or stand up. It all depends on what the spreader bar you’re using and what kind of sexual activity you’ll be doing.
2. Wrap one of the cuffs around their ankle or wrist, then secure the other on the opposite limb. Be sure to ask your partner if the cuffs’ tightness or the bar’s length feels comfortable, and make adjustments if needed to ensure they’re at ease.
3. You can then proceed with the deed. There’s no set time limit for using spreader bars, but it’s super important to establish a safeword—a signal that immediately stops the action. This way, if your partner needs a break, they can easily let you know.

Tips

As illustrated above, using a spreader bar is pretty straightforward. You secure the cuffs on your partner, and voila! You’re ready to start having fun. But to get the most out of this kinky toy, here are some safety and play tips to remember.

1Plan it out.

If you’ve been practicing BDSM for a while, you probably already know this. But for those new to bondage play and eager to explore, planning the scene is key. You don’t have to script the entire session, but having a loose outline of your plan is a good idea. It also ensures you’re both on the same page and comfortable throughout the experience.

Planning involves deciding how long the session will last, what the safeword will be (though if you’ve already established one, you can skip this step), and what the limits and toys will be. You can keep it light and playful as you discuss the details, but make sure everything is clear before you head into the play space.

2Get spreader bars at reputable sex toy shops.

Another vital thing to keep in mind is that you should always buy spreader bars from reputable sex toy shops or trusted brands. That way, you can be sure the bar is durable and rust-proof. Also, the cuffs of high-quality spreader bars are lined with breathable, ultra-soft fabric.

While cheaper spreader bars might be tempting from sketchy shops, it’s always better to invest in quality love toys to avoid mishaps.

3Make sure the key and safety scissors are within reach.

Even if the cuffs you’re using have easy-to-remove fasteners like velcro, it’s better to keep safety scissors nearby if something unexpected happens and you need to remove them quickly.

For cuffs with locks, make sure the keys are always within reach so you can avoid any issues during the deed. Staying prepared helps ensure that your play remains hassle-free.

4Communicate throughout the deed.

Communication is key during any sexual activity, but when it comes to bondage play, it becomes even more important. Since some forms of bondage can involve pain or discomfort, you want to be extra careful about how your partner is feeling. So, don’t be afraid to check in throughout—ask your submissive how they’re doing, and make sure they’re still having fun. It helps both of you stay connected, builds trust, and ensures no one is crossing any boundaries.

5Use it with other bondage toys.

Wanna make the most out of your spreader bar? Use it with other bondage toys, like mouth gags, nipple clamps, collars, whips, floggers, paddles, eye masks, and other related toys. It’ll surely intensify the kinky session since the submissive has fewer senses to work with. The less control they have, the more intense the experience!

Non-bondage toys like vibrators or dildos can also be used as a reward or punishment. For example, tease your submissive with a vibrator on their clitoris, bringing them close to orgasm, and then stop right before they reach climax to keep them on edge.

Best Spreader Bar Sex Positions

Wondering which sex positions work best with a spreader bar? Here are some of the sexiest and most satisfying positions that take full advantage of this kinky tool.

1Prone Bone

The Prone Bone is like an upgraded doggy style, but instead of getting on all fours, the receiver lies flat on its stomach. The receiver or submissive will be wearing a full-body spreader bar, with their wrists and ankles all secured right at their hips.

Once they’re in position and all tied up, the giver can either go for it from behind or spice things up with a whip, paddle, or maybe some BDSM wax for added sensations. Just be mindful of their flexibility, and try not to drag it out too long since breathing can be a bit trickier in this position.

2Arched Doggy

Here’s another wild take on doggy style for those who love getting primal. The receiver starts off on all fours, like in the usual doggy style. Then, they’ll press their chest and face down onto the bed while keeping their hips raised as high as possible. Their arms should stay straight, with wrists aligned with their ankles.

The dominant partner can then attach the spreader bar to the wrists and ankles. Once the submissive’s locked in, you’re good to go!

3Spread Eagle

If the other spreader bar positions feel too challenging, here’s an easier option. The receiver lies on their back while the giver uses two basic spreader bars—one for the wrists and one for the ankles.

This setup keeps the submissive fully exposed, offering a hot visual for the dominant and giving the submissive that thrilling sense of surrender. Simple, but still oh-so-sexy!

4V-Pose

Another easy-to-replicate position is the V-Pose. It’s a twist on missionary, but instead of the giver leaning in close, they’ll kneel upright while holding the spreader bar to keep the receiver’s legs up. This adds a kinky edge to the classic position. Plus, some say that raising your legs high—so your ankles line up with the giver’s ears—can give more precise G-spot stimulation. Definitely a must-try!

5Sofa Spread

If you wanna try out some spreader bar sex positions on your sofa, consider this one. The giver sits comfortably on the couch while the receiver straddles them, facing toward them. The receiver must place their hand onto the giver’s feet for support.

Once you’re both in position, the giver can attach the spreader bar to the receiver’s ankles, with the bar either in front or behind their head (depending on its length). After that, you can get into some thrusting action!

6T-Square

If you’re up for trying some unique spreader bar positions, this one should definitely be on your checklist! The receiver lies on their back, bending their knees and lifting them up while spreading them apart. The giver lies on their side, so their penis enters the female partner’s vagina from this criss-cross angle.

7Bend Over

For the beginners out there, here’s a newbie-friendly position to try with a spreader bar. The receiver bends over, with their wrists and ankles attached to the bar. The giver can thrust from behind or engage in some impact play using a whip, paddle, or flogger.

The receiver’s hips are more elevated in this position compared to other bend-over variations, making it perfect for anyone who loves showing off their plump ass-ets!

8All Out

If the receiver is super flexible and loves a challenge, this position might be right up your alley. The giver stands while the receiver lies on the floor, facing up. The giver attaches the spreader bar to the receiver’s wrists, legs, or both if they’re up for it!

Once the receiver’s all tied up, the giver gently grabs the receiver’s thigh, lifting it until their vagina lines up with the giver’s penis or strap-on. The giver can then proceed with the deed.

9Standing Bar

This position is pretty straightforward: the receiver stands facing the wall, with a spreader bar on their ankles. The giver then takes control from behind. For an extra kick, we recommend the receiver wear handcuffs or an additional spreader bar.

10Spark

Saving the best for last, the Spark is perfect for adventurous couples who love to try acrobatic positions. In this one, the giver stands up while the receiver does a headstand in front of them, wearing a spreader bar on their wrists. The receiver then spreads their legs as far as possible while the giver holds onto their thighs for support. Once everything’s in place, the giver can start thrusting into the receiver’s vagina.

Takeaway

If you want to level up from classic handcuffs, a spreader bar is a splendid choice! It’s versatile, easy to clean, and beginner-friendly, making it perfect for various sexual activities and positions. Plus, it emphasizes the dom-sub dynamic by fully exposing the submissive while the dominant partner gets to enjoy all of their sub’s body.

Just like with any sex toy, it’s essential to have a conversation before purchasing. Make sure everyone is on the same page and has given their consent. Don’t also forget the other safer sex practices, like establishing a safeword, having regular check-ins, getting sufficient aftercare, and using birth control.