18 Crucial Standards That Set the Bare Minimum in a Relationship

Setting the bare minimum in a relationship, especially a romantic one, is necessary. Marriage.com shares how these standards are your personal requirements when it comes to looking for an ideal partner. The things you need from a possible relationship to keep things respectful, honest, and healthy between you two. They can also vary per person, which makes it challenging to figure out what is essential and what can be sacrificed. But if you’ve had a history of failed relationships or have never had a partner in your life, it’s time to establish proper standards to gain your dream relationship.

Let this be the time to grow from unattainable standards. Or maybe actually set some if you’ve never had any to start with.

In this guide, we’ll discuss the possible, relevant standards that count as the bare minimum in a healthy relationship. From there, you’d have a better idea of what to set in your next relationship. Alongside this, you may possibly figure out if you’re not getting what you deserve if you’re currently dating someone.

Important Factors That Set the Bare Minimum in a Healthy Relationship

There are quite a number of factors and standards that build up the bare minimum. Simultaneously, you can either take some or all the factors we list, whether or not they apply the most to you. Again, the bare minimum can look different to others! 

Plus, let this be the time to stop praising people for merely doing the bare minimum. We shouldn’t settle less for what you deserve. 

1 Proper Relationship Label

It’s 2024, people! You have to see eye to eye with one another, ensuring you’re on the same page. If you’re exclusively dating, then loyalty is important. However, if you’re taking things casually, you both have to discuss on whether it’s monogamous without such labels or you’re allowed to see other people during that time. DTR is crucial and often mislooked, which can create misunderstandings and falling outs with one another.

So the moment you already meet and go out on the first date, tell each other what you’re looking for. It’ll save you time and energy rather than being together for a while, unaware that they don’t want to commit or vice versa.

2 Clear Boundaries

What are you okay with? What are you not so okay with? Setting clear boundaries between one another keeps you both safe from harm and disagreements. Hence, it should be on the top of your list when it comes to the bare minimum of a relationship. In terms of sex, it can be the type of acts that are a yes or no. As for your relationship, it can be what public displays of affection you’re cool with. Include here doing any kind of flirting with another person if you’re in an exclusive relationship as a boundary.

3 Healthy Communication Skills

Communication is everything! People can’t read minds, so you must verbally address your concerns. Being able to read each other’s body language is a major plus too. Healthy communication consists of honesty and openness, wherein you feel safe and comfortable talking about anything and everything. 

Regardless of whether it’s good or something that can be improved, And if you think about it, a lot of disagreements, misunderstandings, and fights can be avoided with proper communication. Thus, it’s high up in our list of what counts as the bare minimum in a healthy relationship.

4 Equality

In a healthy relationship, no one is seen as superior or inferior than the other. The two of you are seen as equals, putting in the effort to make your relationship work. Otherwise, it’ll deteriorate over time.

5 Mutual Respect

Hand in hand with equality, a strong relationship requires mutual respect. It’s when you cherish and trust each other in everything you do and consider your boundaries. That way, they don’t cross them. You also consider each other’s feelings and accept them as they are. Alongside this, you can be a shoulder they can lean on and consider their personal opinions and emotions when making decisions. 

6 Individuality

You’re more than just your relationship. You should have your group of friends, family, and hobbies as they’re an essential part of your life. Besides, it’s not like you’re with your partner everyday 24/7. Being your own person is a really important standard of the bare minimum in a relationship. You still have a life outside of it and need your personal space. 

7 Friendship

Before they were your partner, they were your friend. There shouldn’t be any skips or discrepancies on that, even if you have a purely sexual relationship! Having a knit friendship with your partner is what keeps your relationship lasting for a long time aside from the affection, romance, and passion.

8 Making Them Feel Like They’re Plan A

They’re your top choice. Yes, choosing who you want to be with is already a part of the bare minimum in a relationship. However, it shouldn’t take that much effort for you to remind your partner that you chose them. No Plan B’s here! Treat them with love and patience, not as if you’re settling for less. And if you are, you must reflect on your choices and what you’re like in relationships. 

9 Safe and Healthy Sex Life

Yes, there’s more to life than sex. But we can’t deny that good sex can equate to a good relationship overall. Heck, there’s nothing wrong with making it a standard of the bare minimum in a relationship! 

By telling your partner about your ideal sex life and vice versa, you can help each other achieve it and be happy. Some aspects worth talking about are the fantasies you’re okay doing, the frequency of sex, and the means of birth control to use to promote safe sex.

10 Consent

In any major decision you both make, consent is key to ensure you’re both floating on the same boat. It also keeps things fair and respectful because the last thing you want is to be backstabbed or betrayed. This applies when having sex, financial ventures, and even borrowing things from one another.

11 Security

Your partner should make you feel safe and comfortable when you’re around them. They’re your pahinga after a long day, the person you can rely on the most when facing challenges. This is the type of standard within the scale of the bare minimum in a relationship you shouldn’t ask for. It should already be evident between you two.

12 Trust

Trusting one another authentically means you’re capable of being honest and real in everything. Whether it be going out with friends or saying you’ll be back after a few minutes to buy something, you’re sure that they’ll do as they say. You need trust to solidify your relationship moving forward. Without it, you’ll encounter misunderstandings a lot more.

13 Growth

As mentioned earlier, individuality is important in a relationship. That way, it can encourage growth between you and your partner. You support one another to do well, whether you’re reaching for your dreams or trying out a new skill. Side by side, you become better versions of yourselves, which can benefit your relationship in the long run.

14 Acceptance

This standard on the bare minimum in a relationship shouldn’t be ignored. It’s when you see someone for their true, authentic self rather than wishing them to act or speak in a certain way to fit to your own liking. Otherwise, the whole relationship becomes dishonest and potentially toxic. A possible hidden red flag even! Whatever quirks and traits they have, you accept and appreciate them as they are.

15 Being present

Physically, mentally, and emotionally, be there for one another through the good and bad. Remember what their needs are, and they should also do the same. It’s a mutual effort to show up when you need them, or they need you. It can come from the little things such as simple dates, holding their hand when walking around town, or remembering their birthday. It can also be with big, graver things such as illness or a financial crunch.

16 Room For Apologies

We make mistakes, which can lead to misunderstandings and fights. So once you’ve both calmed down from all that heat, apologizing and mending things keep your relationship strong and alive. Avoid sleeping without apologizing because you don’t want to sleep with such negative emotions.

17 Commitment

This factor is crucial! Without it, there is no relationship. You must be fully into making your relationship flourish and thrive. All or nothing! In other words, commitment is a non-negotiable if you want your relationship to work out. Hence, it’s a primary standard when setting the bare minimum in a relationship.

But if you’re not ready for that, especially when it can be something serious and possibly long-term, don’t force things between you and that person.

18 Loyalty

We mentioned this earlier, but let’s expand on it a bit further. Once you fully commit to someone, especially in exclusive relationships, you must be genuine and true to it. It should feel effortless to love and appreciate the person you’re with and you’re both putting in the work to make your relationship work. By doing this, you’ll evoke more positive emotions towards your bond.

And please, we’ve had enough cheaters and dishonest people in the world. 

Tips on How to Respectfully Ask For More in a Relationship

We deserve to experience our ideal relationship. We deserve real love. So if you want improvements in terms of asking for more than the bare minimum in a relationship, we have a few tips to help you. Just keep reading this section below!

1 Choose a good time to talk things out.

Timing is key to everything. So it’s best to discuss your bare minimum for a relationship when you’re free and not packed with work-related stress. You also have to be in the right mindset during this conversation. Be attentive and active in listening, then speak kindly when it’s your turn.

2 Be specific and clear with your needs.

Using the proper language ensures concrete understanding between the two of you. It also ensures that your words aren’t aimed to make them feel bad. Properly state what things need to change within your relationship. Use “I” language too!

Examples of Statements:

1. I just want to check in if our current relationship is exclusive or something casual.
2. I am comfortable with those sex acts, but the others can be avoided.
3. I would appreciate it if we had more dates during the weekend. I really love those moments we shared during that time because they made me feel seen and cherished.

3 Allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner.

Sharing your thoughts about your relationship with your partner can sometimes feel scary. Especially when things are going great between you two! The last thing we’d want is to be perceived as demanding or needy. But you’re probably overthinking if you haven’t tried anything. 

Because if you trust your partner, then it should be easy to communicate with them. After all, trust is one standard from the list of the bare minimum in a relationship mentioned above. Let them know that your words come from a place of vulnerability and honesty. That you simply want to improve your relationship because you cherish them! 

Doing this makes them more likely to listen and take the necessary steps to work things out.

Frequently Asked Questions

Still eager to know more about the bare minimum in a relationship? Browse through our short FAQ section down below.

1 How can living and settling for the bare minimum in a relationship be negative?

Among these healthy standards we shared, it comes from a place of safety and openness. You want a relationship that makes you prosper. But without a clear idea of what your needs are, you’re more prone to experience relationships that don’t cherish you the way you deserve. 

Your partner in such a relationship would only do enough to keep you around for a while. Take you for granted even. Think about it: the bare minimum is the next step to nothing. Over time, you’ll be more unhappy and unfulfilled in that relationship.

2 How do I know if I’m in a bare minimum relationship?

You’re often neglected by your partner and there’s a lack of emotional connection and intimacy between you two. And the longer your needs aren’t met, the clearer it becomes that they’re only giving you the bare minimum.

3 What if I still feel unsatisfied with this bare minimum relationship after discussing things with my partner?

If your current partner still falls short of meeting your needs, breaking up is the next option. Remember that you are worthy of a relationship that ticks all your standards. Never settle less for what you deserve. Life is too short for that!

Takeaway

Setting the bare minimum in a relationship is crucial to maintain and strengthen it over time. Otherwise, it’ll crumble and emotionally affect both of you. Thus, you must be clear about what bare minimum standards and traits you want in a relationship. That way, you’d know what types of people to filter out and eventually find the right one for you. We wish you luck, beloved reader!