Importance of Communication in a Relationship

Communication in a relationship is crucial to making things work out and creating harmony within the parties involved. Without it, it would only cause mayhem, frustration, and lots of tension. 

If you want to be a better communicator in your relationship or at least prepare to be one, this guide is for you. We’ll discuss what you need to about good communication is (fom verbal to non-verbal) and how to improve your current communication skills. Alongside this, we gathered a list of signs that indicate good, healthy communication in a relationship and the importance of such a factor.

What is Communication in a Relationship?

Better Health Channel defined communication in a relationship as a factor that “allows you to explain to someone else what you are experiencing and what your needs are.”

It’s important in a relationship to be able to talk openly and discuss important issues when they arise. But it’s also just as vital to share the joy with one another. Both situations increase intimacy and bonding.

In turn, having good communication serves as the backbone of a healthy relationship.

Types of Communication in a Relationship

There are 2 types of look out for, which include:

1 Verbal

This type is how we get along with our lives, getting what we need when needed through our words. But it’s also how we create meaningful connections with other people, being authentic and honest in conveying information and messages.

Verbal communication can be written or oral. 

2 Non-verbal

Sometimes, simple body language can express many things without opening your mouth. May it be a shake of the head to show disapproval, nodding as approval, and clapping as praise. Such language can be applied in a relationship, infusing it with verbal to further understand one another. In fact, non-verbal language can speak louder than words at times! If you say “I love you” but you say it in a forced way, that doesn’t feel authentic.

On another note, non-verbal communication is how impaired people express their needs and desires. Examples of methods include like braille, lip reading, and sign language exist. 

Importance of Communication in a Relationship

Let’s learn more about how beneficial communication is in building a healthy relationship down below.

1 Learning more about each other

Mind reading is not a thing, everyone! 

Communicating with anyone in this world is a gateway to any relationship. Sure, it starts as small talk, which people may not be a fan of. But getting over that bridge allows you access to all sorts of information about someone. From the fun to the deeper aspects of them, it also helps you understand how to attend to them when needed. For example, this person is very shy in public gatherings, so you help introduce new people or your friends even to them.

Another instance would be finding out that this person likes a certain type of candy, and you just so happened to find it in the convenience store when you bought things for yourself. As a result, you’d get them treated as well as out of care.

2 Forging strong bonds with one another

When you keep communicating with someone, whether as a friend or romantic partner, it’s only natural for that connection to strengthen. You’d know each other’s quirks and flaws, how to love them, and what not to do to hurt them. 

At the same time, your emotional intimacy also improves, wherein you learn to be more empathetic and understanding towards them. Acting in such a way can bring you two closer, creating room to share your feelings and thoughts.

3 Steering away or solving conflict

Rather than keeping everything to yourself, you’d feel much better when you talk things through with your partner. If it’s something they did that bothered you or something you might have done to inconvenience them, you’d bring it up without hesitation. You’d prefer to come clean and find the necessary solutions rather than create more tension.

For example, your partner was really late to your date, and it bothered you because it was something you looked forward to and really put your best foot forward. You also made sure to clear any backlog so there would be no unnecessary hassles. Even if you’re happy they showed up, a part of you is annoyed that they were late. So instead of bottling up, you’d ask why they were late to understand where they’re coming from. Then you can express your concern, such as “I feel disappointed when plans are not met thoroughly.”

From there, you can find solutions to prevent this from happening again. And don’t feel too down when conflict arises — they’re normal and can even help strengthen your relationship when it’s discussed through and through.

However, ensure it’s not a consistent thing that occurs as it may harm your relationship even more.

4 Feeling seen and cared for

Communicating effectively in a relationship freely puts your needs and desires in the spotlight. Instead of shunning them, you tell them in hopes that it’ll be given to you. And they do.

5 Enhanced happiness

When your needs and desires are constantly met, it would make you associate positivity in your relationship. Never would you put each other down, but always find ways to support and lift each other up. Plus, communicating with one another wouldn’t feel scary like confrontation. As our needs and desires change every day, speaking up about it to each other is effortless and natural.

6 More space for honesty and transparency

When you both have good communication skills, you never beat behind the bush. You go straight to the point and act honestly in what you want to share and express. With that, you’re also aware that there’s no space for lying, small or big, as it can only create stress and strife.

7 Less overthinking or rumination

Rather than constantly overanalyzing any negative thoughts or emotions, communication in a relationship gives room to discuss any worries or concerns. By releasing all of the negativity that way, you feel more at ease and find more concrete solutions. At the same time, you’ll learn more about your partner and what bothers them so you can be of further support to them.

8 More trust

Having good communication with your partner means being able to talk to them about anything. You’re capable of being vulnerable around them (even if it may feel scary) because you’re certain they’ll still support and love you unconditionally. Trust and vulnerability are just as important components in a relationship alone, but having them when you communicate with one another ensures a stronger and even more fulfilling relationship in the long run.

Signs of Great Communication in a Relationship

Check out this helpful list here to learn more about some key indicators that exhibit such communication between partners.

1 Staying kind

Whenever you talk to one another, you always feel safe and loved. You can rely on each other to vent out any stresses or share your victories because they welcome you with open arms. There’s never judgment when you’re communicating with them.

2 Using “I” statements

Such statements prevent conflicts from happening, or the occasion of pointing fingers, which would then cause tension. We’ve shown one example earlier, but another way to construct this statement can be “I feel more appreciated if there was less clutter on our bathroom floor.”

3 Being both active listeners

Active listening involves being fully attentive to the person you’re talking to without thinking of the next thing to say. You would also show it non-verbally with strong eye contact and your bodies facing them fully. Your lips are fully silent as well, not twitching to say anything as you process what the person is telling you.

You’re not spacing out nor judging them either as they speak, listening with a pure heart without hidden motives.

4 Never raising their voice

Instead of getting defensive when someone is talking, they keep their composure as they listen. But when it’s time for them to speak up, their tone is calm and approachable so their partner won’t feel ostracized.

5 Being patient

Opening up and discussing can take a lot of time, yet you let this person take their time to talk. Never would you tell them to hurry things up or to get to the point; you let them run at their own pace.

6 Validating each other’s emotions

When one opens up, the listener accepts the person as they are. As a result, it helps the one who opened up process their feelings more as you continue to support them.

7 Being present

When someone’s talking to you, you stay in the moment with them. All ears and aware of whatever it is they’re talking about, picking up on their actions linked to their emotions and what-not. Your attention doesn’t waver to other things unless it’s an emergency. As much as possible, you withdraw any kind of distractions to really be with them.

8 Not holding any grudges

If the conversation you and your partner have revolves around your relationship, you won’t take anything negative to heart. Instead, you use it as a lesson to improve your dynamic.

How to Foster Better Communication in a Relationship

Learn how to improve your communication skills with your partner through this section.

1 Understand that overcommunication isn’t the same as better communication.

In some scenarios, doing more may not be ideal.

With communicating, one can either be an internalizer or an externalizer. Tony Robbins adds that internalizers would prefer to have some space before speaking up, while externalizers may need to slow down and touch up on what they want to say. With that, it’s key to know what type you are so you and your partner can discuss what’s needed more effectively. 

2 Carve out time for one another.

This tip may sound so simple, but you’ll be surprised at how many people take this for granted. Surely, being busy with work and other matters cannot be ignored, but you may just jeopardize your relationship if you don’t put in any work or effort to it. 

One way to do this is by setting a time within the day to talk and check in with each other in person. It can be sometime after work, when you’re relaxed and free from other obligations. You can also text each other short updates within the day, asking how you are and such.

3 Think first before talking.

Yapping away without any filter can be discouraging and even hurt the other party without knowing. Hence, it’s important to think deeply about what you want to say and talk about. This goes for both internalizers and externalizers.

4 Consider the circumstances and read the room you’re in. 

For example, you wouldn’t want to talk about the stresses of your day when your partner had an unnecessary work call with their boss. While you don’t have to completely forget about your stresses, it helps to be present first with them and hear them out so they can let out some steam. Then when everything seems calm, you can slowly share how your day went.

Doing this tip makes you more considerate and mindful of one another, wherein everything has a place and time to be done correctly.

5 Have a calm and open mind.

During every conversation, it’s important to approach them lightly. Going in with a negative mindset puts your guard up and vice versa, hiding your true emotions and thoughts. 

6 Be a reliable and authentic listener.

Being such a listener shows that you care and value your partner, getting clarity on their perspective on certain topics. That can be beneficial when conflict arises, wherein you understand and reflect before going into action.

7 Gain more knowledge of your partner’s body language.

Actions may just be louder than words in certain scenarios.

Per person, their body language varies. Knowing them gives you better clues about their feelings before verbally asking. For example, your partner lets out a pout when they’re trying to figure out how to solve a problem. Instead of asking what they’re feeling, you already ask how you can assist them.

8 Learn more about what makes both of you happy.

Talking about the various ways to bring positivity out of you shows that your partner is dedicated to making your relationship great. And vice versa!

These types of conversations would also make it easy to talk about the deeper things because again, you see the willingness to make things work.

One way to apply this tip can be to learn about their hobbies. From there, you’d join them in doing them. You can also surprise them with small gestures that are linked to the things that bring them joy, like buying them iced coffee before they head off to work.

Takeaway

Having strong communication in a relationship is essential. Without it, it can only lead to disappointment and tension between the parties involved. Hence, it’s also important to identify whether you lack communication or the quality of it is not so good. That way, you’d have a clearer idea of what to improve on rather than to keep yapping.

For more relationship-related guides, head on over to the Lauvblog here.