Oh, the talking stage. It can either make or break a potential relationship (or even the individual in it). But hey, at least it makes dating a lot less daunting and more adventurous on both ends.

In this guide, we’ll be discussing this type of interaction more, its pros and cons, signs that it’s going well, and how to successfully navigate it. And if you’re ready for a relationship upgrade, we’ll share some tips on eventually getting out of the talking stage with an ideal prospect.

What is the Talking Stage?

VeryWell Mind defines the talking stage as “those early days of intense infatuation when you’re getting to know someone before possibly entering a committed relationship.”

It’s a very fun and exciting stage, almost like a test run before entering an exclusive relationship later on. It lasts for a few weeks to a few months but definitely not exceeding four months, according to some sources. As a result, the length of this stage is usually subjective, depending on the pace that both parties involved choose to go at. But again, if it’s getting way too long, you may want to re-evaluate where things are going.

It’s also a term used when asked about one’s dating status, highlighting those light, blissful moments as the connection between the two people involved grows.

Moreover, the talking stage is a unique take on courting. You’re slowly getting to know someone without having the instant endgame that you will get married or anything. You also focus more on the present moment and keep seeing each other until you’re ready to take it up a notch. However, there is a time frame to keep in mind of unlike the traditional courting stage as staying there for too long can be frustrating and elevate uncertainties.

What The Talking Stage May Look Like

This phase in dating can vary per person but is not limited to: 

1. Texting and calling
2. Going on dates with them
3. Hanging out with each other’s friends
4. Having casual sex

Pros of the Talking Stage

Browse through the great aspects of this phase in dating down below.

1 You get to know this person better.

It’s only natural to gain new information about someone through talking and brainstorming all sorts of questions to ask them. From the usual “what do you do on your free time” to the creative “if you were a worm, how would you navigate the world”, getting their answers lets you into how they view the world. And vice versa when they do the same thing to you! The last thing you want to do is rush into a relationship.

2 It tests your compatibility.

The more you talk to someone through the talking stage, the more you figure out their personality. You’ll observe some traits that are aligned with what you’re looking for, some you’re willing to look past since they aren’t so serious.

Regardless, talking and communicating with one another unravels whether or not you click with one another. In turn, it leads to being able to trust one another and having a sense of balance when you interact.

3 Commitment who? There’s none of that yet.

The talking stage is usually casual, so seeing other people while interacting with them is alright. Chances are they’re doing the same. But if things get a lot more serious, you should let each other know so neither of you stays in the dark and decides to continue talking or sever ties. That latter outcome sucks, but it’s always better to be honest with each other.

4 You learn more about your persona when dating.

Your usual self and your dating self can differ from one another. Perhaps when it’s just you, you’re more chill and laid-back. But when talking to someone, you’re more open and interactive as you talk about anything and everything.

Whatever the case is, you’re still authentic and real as you unlock new parts about yourself.

Cons of the Talking Stage

Read up on the potential setbacks when you’re in the talking stage with a great prospect.

1 There’s a chance of getting ghosted.

Regardless of how long you’ve been talking to one another, being ghosted is an emotionally painful experience. It just shows how poor their communication skills are, and they would rather end things without explanation. In turn, the ghosted person feels lost and uncertain about why things turned out that way. Additionally, they ponder if they did anything to cause that sudden action and even ruminate on ways they could’ve stopped it. But again, ghosting is a them problem, not you. 

2 You can be replaced when you least expect it.

Imagine being in the talking stage with someone, already having ended other conversations because you clicked with them. It was mutual for them, too. Then, one day, they decide to end things because they found someone better. Yes, situations like this can happen in the talking stage, and it hurts a lot.

That’s why they say to keep your options open even if you talk to someone much more because you never know what they think. Plus, life can sometimes throw unexpected curveballs.

3 It can hold you back from achieving long-term goals.

Perhaps there’s this person you’ve been in the talking stage for quite some time because they’re everything you can imagine. However, you’ve noticed the time frame. It’s been more than the usual time frame of the talking stage, and neither of you has taken the chance to go further. As a result, any big goals, from being in an exclusive relationship to even marriage, are hindered.

4 It strengthens one’s fear of commitment.

Instead of doing the talking stage to explore the sea of options, it may enhance the fear of having something more long-term. And while having fears regarding commitment is valid, it shouldn’t take away the chance of getting with someone who matches you well. Being afraid all the time only takes away a lot of good opportunities to grow and learn.

However, that fear may even push that person away if things get too deep. And especially when the talking stage holds no labels, it can be quick for someone to move on to the next person just like that.

Signs of a Great Talking Stage With Someone

As you figure out if you’re in a light-hearted talking stage, look for the following signs:

1. The conversations flow smoothly and naturally.
2. You feel comfortable and safe around them.
3. The both of you share common interests and traits.
4. You respect each other’s boundaries.
5. The two of you are aligned on what you’re looking for.
6. There’s chemistry present.

How to Successfully Navigate the Talking Stage

Follow each tip in this section when you’re in the talking stage with someone and eager for things to work out well.

1 Be consistent.

Don’t leave each other hanging when you talk to each other. A late response is still a response, but avoid that instance. When your flow of conversation is running, keep it going because that’s the most present you could ever be for each other. Moreover, even short texts daily help keep things consistent.

2 Be patient.

It takes a while for messages to be sent, even more so to be read when they have other things to attend to. Like you probably have some tasks on your plate as well! With that, don’t send too many texts in one go. Because for sure, you wouldn’t want that.

At the same time, you have to be patient in letting your connection grow. Especially on the first day, give each other time to get to know each other. The day you plant the seed isn’t the day you pick the flower.

3 Be honest with each other.

One starting way would be to state your intentions. Are you looking for a long-term relationship or something fun and casual? That way, you can filter out those who don’t match with you and focus more on those who do.

Practicing honesty can also be shown by authentically expressing who you are to them and sharing with them what you’re okay and not okay with.

4 Don’t force anything.

Connecting with someone on all levels during the talking stage is possible, but hindrances can still arise. For example, they’re still not ready for a relationship or have a pet peeve you can’t stand. Don’t settle immediately or try to make things work like a puzzle piece on the wrong mold. You will know what’s meant for you and what else will bring you good.

5 Set realistic expectations.

Already in the talking stage, it’s important to set realistic expectations. This ensures that you and your prospect are aligned, and it also avoids disappointment and frustration.

What to Do When You’re Ready to Leave the Talking Stage

Put your best foot forward and secure a potential partner through these helpful tips.

1 Invite them to hang out.

In case you’ve just been hitting on each other virtually, planning to see each other in person is a big step. So you feel more comfortable and sure of them, take the initiative to see them in person. Perhaps in a public place, so it’s secure. Wherever you decide to hang out with them, take this opportunity to notice who they are and their body language around you. Try to read into the signs of whether or not they’re into you more intimately and deeply.

2 Flirt with them.

Well, you’re most likely flirting with them during the talking stage at a more subtle level. With some playful jabs and teasing words here and there, take it up a notch when you realize your true feelings towards them. It can be through complimenting how they look or utilizing body language.

3 Get clear with them about your emotions.

Over time, as you talk to them, all this infatuation and everything around it becomes stronger and more stable. Hence, you’d want to take the next step already aka putting a label on it. So when you get the chance to see them in person, it’s ideal to tell them what you’re feeling. For example, you want to say “I’d really love to get to know you more and pursue a deeper relationship with you.”

4 Be ready to accept their decision.

It’s possible that even if your talking stage with someone has gone great, they may not want anything more than that. May it be that they’re not ready to be in a relationship or their interests lie elsewhere, you can take this experience as part of your personal growth.

But on the other hand, they may share mutual feelings just like you! If they have also been eager to get out of the talking stage, this is your chance to go for it! Come clear with each other and use your shared interests to further bond with each other as you become more exclusive and serious.

Takeaway

The talking stage is not necessarily a bad thing or something to fear. It’s what familiarizes you with a dating prospect/s and determines if they’re the one for you. It’s also a fresh take on courting in the modern dating world, having lighter intentions, from being able to see other people to just take your time getting to know someone.

For more fun and informative relationship guides such as this one, you can check us out on the Lauvblog over here.