Taxi Cabs And Dating? Let’s Talk About The Taxi Cab Theory

Who would’ve known that taxi cabs and modern dating can be related? Well, that’s the Taxi Cab theory if you’re wondering. Because it turns out, hailing a cab that’s open and accepts your request may mean that you’ve found an ideal partner.

In this guide, we’ll discuss more about what such a theory means and its pros and cons. Then, towards the end, we’ll provide you with tips on how to properly search for your ideal person—the one, rather.

What Is the Taxi Cab Theory?

The Taxi Cab Theory, or the Cab Light Theory, originated from the popular TV show Sex and The City. Specifically, this theory was coined by Miranda Hobbes, comparing men to taxi cabs in the ladies’ room with her other gals. She goes:

“When they’re available, their light goes on. They awake one day and decide they’re ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. Next woman they pick up, boom! That’s the one they’ll marry.”

In other words, it’s the idea that love is not about commitment, but the timing. When they feel ready to settle down, they gear towards the next person they encounter. But it’s not necessarily their ideal person; it can be someone they have good feelings with and has followed their standards of the bare minimum.

Sometimes, the readiness they’d feel is due to their external influences like their friends getting married or not wanting to experience disappointment after disappointment in dating anymore. They want instant gratification in a sense so they aren’t “missing out” anymore.

This theory has received mixed reviews from the general public, but most people agree that modern dating is still challenging. It’s as if finding your lifelong partner or soulmate is impossible.

Factors of the Taxi Cab Theory

Let’s break down the important factors that establish the foundation of this interesting theory related to love and relationships.

1 Timing

Observe where you are in life. Are you flourishing in your career? How’s your overall emotional state? Do you have any goals that you have yet to set and accomplish, whether it be to travel or start a new hobby? Are you emotionally ready to be in a relationship? 

These sample self-reflection questions allow you to connect with yourself so you can better understand when it’s a good time to see other people and date them. Alongside this, it’s important to keep in mind of other external factors that may affect timing, whether it be your ongoing commitments, any family, obligations or even distance.

2 Chemistry

Verywell Mind describes chemistry in a relationship as “the intense feelings of connection, passion, and romance that people in relationships share.”

Pay close attention to the connection and bond you build with a prospective partner. Observe the attraction you feel towards them. How do they make you feel when you’re around them? Do you enjoy spending quality time together? What activities do you do then? What mutual hobbies do you both share? Does flirting come easily when you’re around them? Those are some sample questions you can ask yourself regarding that person.

Aside from the physical aspect, having shared values and beliefs can strengthen your connection. In return, it heightens your chemistry together. For example, you and a prospective partner value the importance of taking accountability when either one of you makes a mistake.

Having the same level of emotional maturity and capability can also improve your chemistry. You’d be able to manage your emotions better and understand where you’re coming from. That sense of understanding and empathy allows you both to bond at a closer, more intimate level.

3 Availability

Understanding the taxi cab theory is not just about physical availability, but emotional availability as well. Are you capable of being there for your partner and investing the needed time and effort to know them better? This should be a mutual exchange.

There’s the current yet prominent issue of people being emotionally unavailable, which is unfair and disappointing because you can like someone so much, yet emotionally, they aren’t as responsive as you wish. They aren’t willing to be vulnerable with you or have open conversations with you. Hence, it’s important to observe those negative signs so you can avoid those people so it can redirect you to much better prospects.

And at the same time, you must be honest with yourself by knowing your capacity and availability to give into a new relationship. From here, you can search for someone who can reciprocate the exact energy in return. It also helps to set proper boundaries beforehand. No more drained energies and efforts on the wrong people!

Pros of The Taxi Cab Theory

Browse here to learn more about the good aspects of this relationship theory.

1 The structure behind the theory is simple.

Like hailing a taxi, the process behind the taxi cab theory is easy and simple. From here, people can assess their romantic interactions and encounters much clearer. This accessibility also is great for those who aren’t so experienced in relationships yet want to improve their knowledge and put themselves out there more.

2 It allows self-reflection.

As we stated the 3 factors behind the taxi cab theory, they encourage you to get to know yourself a lot better. Specifically, they encourage you to gain a better idea of what your dynamics in romance consist of. By gaining clarity on your current standards and needs, you’ll be able to filter out the people who don’t match with you, leading you to those who resonate with your choices.

3 You can recall this theory easily.

Taxi cabs and dating? It may sound odd, but it’s rather witty when you learn this theory.

Wittiness means it stands out within your usual norms, making it easier to remember when you’re searching for a prospect partner. As it stays retained in your mind, you’re more capable of making important, informed decisions.

4 It teaches patience.

We mentioned that timing is an important factor in the taxi cab theory. It makes you more observant of the people you meet in various stages of your life, seeing if they’re ideal and in sync in the long term. If not, then chances are you’ll end the relationship. Even if you’re both compatible and interested in one another, being together at the wrong time may set you both up for heartache later on.

Thus, patience matters if you want a flourishing relationship with someone. Sometimes, the first person you meet and have strong compatibility with may not be your endgame.

Cons of The Taxi Cab Theory

Aside from its pros, let’s keep things balanced by unraveling the negative side of this relationship theory.

1 It’s biased.

A hasty generalization too! As it assumes that all men aren’t fans of commitment, it may also suggest that women aren’t playing an active role in their relationships. When really, both parties need to play an equally active role in their partnership to make things work.

2 There’s no room for growth or change.

When you base a relationship solely on its timing, chemistry, or availability, you’re more likely to dismiss any relationship that doesn’t follow them. However, relationships can grow and thrive with proper communication and mutual efforts over time. 

You shouldn’t be too uptight or quick to end something that is just about to begin. As a result, there’s no opportunity to witness and experience meaningful growth together as a potential couple.

3 It emphasizes a one-size-fits-all approach to dating.

Dating is diverse and complex. Everyone has their own styles and approaches to it. With the taxi cab theory, it oversimplifies one’s view on dating. It shouldn’t just be based on who’s available and ignites all kinds of sparks when you’re together. Focus more on the long-term rather than the instant gratification.

Alongside this, following such a theory disregards other people’s approaches to dating, which can cause further conflict in future relationships.

4 Red flags may be overlooked.

The taxi cab theory emphasizes the importance of timing, chemistry, and availability, which may unintentionally lead to disregarding red flags. For example, you may meet someone who you believe is your person because your chemistry is flourishing and you’re not occupied with anything time-consuming. But maybe from within them, you don’t see those cracks and warning signs that they aren’t suitable. Perhaps an example of a warning sign is that they’re controlling or rude.

Not seeing those signs is dangerous, so a possible future relationship should be based on having great communication skills, shared beliefs, and overall trust for one another.

How to Rightfully Find The One

When you struggle to find the right one due to continuous disappointment, it’s tempting and intriguing to follow the Taxi Cab Theory. We get it; you finally want to rush things and have your happy ending. However, meaningful things such as finding your true, lifelong partner take a lot of time and effort. 

1 Get to know yourself a lot better.

Before putting yourself out there and searching for an ideal partner in the market, it’s crucial to know who you are as a person. From your quirks, goals, and eventually your non-negotiables in a relationship, these are some factors that can influence your type of partner. These factors also provide you with a more vivid lens as you keenly identify compatibility with your prospects.

Aside from this, working on yourself is another way to learn more about who you are. By cultivating your identity and pursuing the things that make you happy, it further allows you to be the best version of yourself. Such a version of yourself is more likely to attract potential partners along your way, whether it be for dating or even marriage.

2 Keep an open mind.

We have our criteria and all when we seek a new partner, but we shouldn’t reject anybody so quickly. There may be more than what meets the eye, and new dating-related standards you may add to your list. Give people a chance to show their real selves before doing anything drastic.

3 Expand your social circle.

As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea! Go beyond your usual zone by embarking on activities and events that align with your interests and hobbies. For sure, you’ll find a community within them, which means meeting more new people who can be a potential partner. It’s even better when you already share an interest that breaks the ice between you two, sparking numerous conversations and opportunities to learn more about each other.

4 Trust your instincts.

They say that your gut instincts are your guardian angels. If something feels off or too good to be true when you’re seeing someone, it probably is. And rather than resisting the feeling off, listen to it because doing the former is an act of emotional suppression. So don’t ignore those signs and carefully proceed with the situation safely and cautiously. The more attuned you are to your instincts and emotions, the more likely you’ll avoid the wrong type of prospects into your lane.

5 Prioritize compatibility.

Compatibility exceeds physical attraction from one’s appearance. Examine emotional maturity, mutual beliefs, life goals, love languages, communication styles, and your individual lifestyles. Observe which ones complement yours and enriches your life in meaningful ways. 

Aside from this, it’s great to have a list of non-negotiables in a relationship and see who ticks off the most boxes. That way, your needs will never fall short. 

6 Take your time.

It’s common to feel pressured and left out when the people around are dating, getting married, and settling down. It makes you wonder about the things you’re missing out on, falling behind from the pack. However, everyone has their own timelines. It’s just society trying to make us feel negative and rushed. Besides, the standards of dating and lifelong commitment have changed over the decades, centuries even.

7 Learn when to walk away.

A tough tip, but it’s an act of self-love because you make your self-worth known. Don’t settle for less, like an emotionally unavailable person. Even if they make you feel happy, you know deep down that it’s only a recipe for disaster to stay with them longer.

8 Be optimistic and patient.

Finding the one is not an overnight feat. Plus, no one said modern dating is easy. You just have to trust the process and have faith that the right person will come into your life when the time is right. Or maybe in unexpected circumstances! You must have an open mind for every possibility out there.

Takeaway

The Taxi Cab Theory may be an extreme way to view dating and settling down, but it has some sense of reality in it. Minus the sexist remarks, it comes to show how modern dating remains a challenge. However, it can be navigated by understanding the importance of timing, strong chemistry, and availability. And while it provides helpful insights, a healthy long-term relationship still requires commitment on both ends, open communication skills, and honesty.

With that, we hope this guide can aid you through the ups and downs of modern dating!