Healing your “inner child” is often associated with buying items your childhood self may have longed for— snacks, toys, clothes, and other knick-knacks. While providing yourself with those desired things can be a part of the healing process, it’s not the only way. In fact, you don’t need a lot of money to nurture your inner child.
In this guide, we’ll take an in-depth look at the concept of the inner child, explore signs of a wounded inner child, and discuss ways to address it.
Acknowledging Your Wounded Inner Child
According to Healthline, an inner child is “a direct representation of yourself in your early years, a patchwork collection of the developmental stages you’ve passed through, or a symbol of youthful dreams and playfulness.”
Everyone has an inner child. While some reflect joyful memories, others carry deep hurt from past trauma with caregivers or peers—often referred to as a wounded inner child. They often struggle with negative self-perception, which can lead to the following issues:
- Intense reactions to minor mishaps
- Difficulty expressing your needs
- Self-sabotaging behaviors
- Fear of abandonment
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms
- A harsher inner critic
- Struggles to explain your feelings
- Childish outbursts
- Constant feeling that nobody listens to you
- Getting attached to the wrong people because they remind you of your toxic caregivers
- Missing out on opportunities due to low self-esteem
If you’re one of those people, remember that the hurt child within you deserves love and healing. While you can’t change your past, you can create a happy and fulfilling present. It might not be quick or easy, but as long as you’re dedicated to taking those baby steps toward healing, you’ll eventually see the progress in your life.
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Activities That Could Heal Your Inner Child
Taking baby steps to heal your inner child is perfectly okay. What truly counts is that you’ve begun the journey. Here are a few self-love activities to get you started.
1Listen to your inner child.
Sometimes, when people go through tough times in childhood, they push those memories deep down to cope. But here’s the thing: that repressed inner child can appear unexpectedly as an adult. You might get overwhelmed by minor issues or intense reactions to things your partner or friend says or does.
That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to your inner child. That part of you might be key to understanding your feelings and experiences. Spend time learning about your childhood by checking out your old photos, reading your journals if you’ve had one, or relieving the available memories. Consider chatting with a trusted friend or family member about what you loved growing up.
As you revisit those memories, it might be helpful to journal them down. This way, you can refer to your reflections whenever you need insights.
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2Treat your inner child with kindness and compassion.
Another simple yet impactful way to heal your inner child is by treating them with compassion. When you feel triggered or anxious, use your inner voice to gently remind yourself—and that inner child—that it’s okay to feel this way and that everything will be alright. Every time you make a mistake, don’t start scolding or insulting yourself; acknowledge the mishap, accept that you’re just a human making mistakes occasionally, and proceed with making things right.
And whenever you accomplish something, remember to celebrate those wins! Take a moment to acknowledge the amazing parts of yourself that helped make that achievement happen.
Aside from using your inner voice, you can also write letters to your inner child, focusing on gratitude, love, and support. Express your appreciation for their existence; you wouldn’t be who you are today without them. Putting those feelings on paper can be incredibly therapeutic.
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3Try doing the things you loved—or always wanted to try—as a kid.
Some people with a wounded inner child have lived in conditions that didn’t allow them to truly be kids. Some might have faced verbal or physical abuse, while others were bullied so badly that they spent those years hiding away. Some grew up in financially challenged families, where fun and play didn’t exist—they sacrificed their childhood to focus on survival, sometimes even working to help put food on the table. Whatever the case is, many people didn’t have an ideal childhood.
If you’re one of them, take this as your sign to start doing the things you always wanted to do as a kid! What fun activities or little treasures did you dream of? Go ahead and sign up for that event, or treat yourself to that thing. Let that inner child of yours experience the joy they missed out on during those years!
But before spoiling your inner child, ensure you’re not sacrificing your present for it. Don’t go into debt or financial trouble to buy that one thing, and try not to skip work or responsibilities to play. There’s a time and place for everything, and you must still stay on top of your obligations.
Here are some fun activities that you can do to heal your inner child:
- Play indoor and outdoor kid games, like cozy video games, puzzles, board games, slime, kite-flying, and the likes
- Having sleepovers with friends
- Get a sweet treat on your way home
- Dance in the rain
- Watch your favorite childhood show
- Join the ballet, taekwondo, or other classes that you weren’t able to go to before
- Have a fun picnic at the park
- Visit an amusement park
- Collect toys that you’ve wanted as a kid
4Get creative!
Another great way to bring joy to your inner child is by letting your creative side shine. The more play and imagination you bring into your adult life, the more healing and happiness you can offer that child within you. Plus, tapping into your creativity can be a rewarding experience! It helps you destress, express your emotions, or take a break from the everyday grind of adulting.
Here are some things that you can try:
- Painting
- Writing stories
- Sculpting with play-dough or clay
- Making a scrapbook
- Creating an adventure puzzle game
- Knitting keychain charms, beanies, scarves, or pet clothes
- Trying adult coloring books or color-by-number kits
5Seek help from a therapist.
Once you’ve started your healing journey, think about talking with a therapist. They can help you connect with your inner child and suggest practices to support your healing process.
One of the best things about working with a therapist is that they’re equipped with valuable tools and resources to keep you on track. Not only that, but having someone outside of your situation can provide a fresh perspective on your childhood experiences, helping you understand what happened during those tough moments and allowing you to process your feelings more effectively.
Takeaway
Healing your inner child is one of the best things you can do for yourself. That past version of you deserves care and attention, too.
However, it’s important to find a balance in this process. While indulging in activities that bring you joy is great, don’t go overboard or use it as an excuse to neglect your responsibilities. Remember, healing is about integrating play and work in a way that nurtures both your inner child and your present self.