My Body, Not Your Business: How To Rise Up From Body Shaming

Body Shaming continues to be common in our society today. It’s never-ending as ideal body standards change and people enjoy bringing other people down. Even if some people make such comments out of “care”, “concern”, or even as a passing joke, it doesn’t excuse their aftereffects on the person they talk to.

In this guide, we’ll show you how to rise above body-shaming and emerge stronger than ever. We’ll also discuss how it can be caused and its possible, detrimental effects to the affected person.

What is Body Shaming?

Verywell Mind defines body shaming as “the act of saying something negative about a person’s body.”

The most commonly associated trait of bodyshaming is size, commenting on someone who got thinner or chunkier over time. But it’s more than just size. Other factors targeted for body shaming include age, hair, food, skin color, and even genitalia.

Causes of Body Shaming

Check out this section to unravel the various root causes of body shaming that impact how we look at ourselves and how others view us.

1 Societal Standards

Such standards are usually unattainable and ever-changing. There used to be a time when having thicker body proportions was the standard of beauty because it showed that you were rich enough to afford food and luxuries. It can also be because you’re capable of child-bearing, which used to be the main and only purpose of women. 

2 Media

From online, television, to films, their influence goes hand in hand with society, which promotes the idea that a certain feature makes you more beautiful. One example could be being skinny based on fashion shows and the actors they cast on their programs.

3 Culture

Deeply ingrained sayings or beliefs can often dictate your beauty. In the Philippines, it’s ingrained that being whiter or paler is seen as more beautiful. We can also blame colonialism for this. As a result, there are still many whitening products on the market. Because of that, we erase the uniqueness of being morena, especially when it’s the natural skin tone for most Filipinos.

However, this belief remains to be constantly challenged, which is hopeful progress for every morena woman out there.

4 Family 

The older generations are especially accustomed to making comments related to our bodies. In fact, they have the biggest impact since they’re the people we grew up with. Hence, those comments shape aspects of our being, including the bad ones. If they’ve said stuff like “oh, tumaba ka,” it can really degrade the way you view yourself, even if they think it’s a compliment.

Effects of Body Shaming

A person victimized by body shaming, whether on a one-time or continuous basis, can experience the following physical and mental effects:

• Poor Quality of life
• Eating Disorders
• Mental Disorders (Anxiety, Body Dysmorphia, Depression)
• Dissatisfaction with oneself (Low Self-Esteem and Confidence)
• Suicidal thoughts or tendencies
• Self-harm
• Extreme Distress
• Excessive Exercising

How to Rise Up From Body Shaming

Body Shaming is meant to bring you down, making you feel inferior to someone who thinks they are better than you. But don’t let that be the case; change your current narrative. Take action to regain your power by following these vitalizing tips.

1 Don’t let them get away with it.

It’s 2024, wherein we shouldn’t let anyone get off the hook that easily when they do or say something bad. Times are different, and people are becoming braver! When someone, a relative or a friend, comments on how your body looks that you deem as negative, call them out for it. 

You must make them aware that you’re not okay with their words and be empathetic. How would they feel if someone said negative things like that to them? Calling them out lessens the normalization of making body-related comments that have a negative connotation. 

This also applies if you see someone getting body-shamed. If they’re too afraid to stand up to you, you can help them.

2 Have a go-to response.

Unfortunately, anyone can be a bodyshamer, and it can occur at any time. So, it’s always ideal to be prepared beforehand for those possible people who might attack you. Yes, it can be scary and nerve-wracking to confront and call them out, but you have to do this for yourself! It’s a reminder that you won’t let anyone take advantage of you like that. Plus, you establish proper boundaries for yourself.

Some examples of a go-to response include:

• “I don’t appreciate your comments on how my body looks now.”
• “I am not comfortable with you viewing my body negatively.”
• “Your comment on my body now isn’t a compliment.”

3 Choose your battles wisely.

Not everything needs a response. Sometimes, body shamers challenge you to get a reaction. That’s what makes them thrive, so don’t give them that satisfaction. Ignore and detach. If it’s a family member who’s stubborn and old-fashioned, don’t entertain them because their old beliefs won’t waver and you’ll end up losing and hurting yourself more.

4 Delete and block those body shamers.

If you detect body shaming on social media, whether it be in the comments or private messages, it’s ideal for removing and detaching from their digital footprint. Although there may be instances where you can choose to fight back, that’ll just do more harm than good. So, to keep your peace virtually and mentally, not interacting may be a better option.

5 Be honest with them.

Honesty is the best policy. It remains an important life motto. While it’s so easy to be enraged and lash out at the person, start slow and composed by expressing how you feel after they say their words. Especially if it’s from someone who’s kind to you overall, never intentionally saying or doing bad deeds.

Don’t leave out any important details either. Tell them about your discomfort and how else it impacted you. That way, you leave no room for secrets and you can feel free from the sting even for a bit. It’ll also teach them to be more mindful of their words around you and others.

6 Take extra care of yourself.

Body shaming can bring emotional and mental harm, so it’s important to have and apply self-care rituals. These rituals will ground you back to who you are and lessen the pain, regaining your power and self-worth. Whether it’s to let out a cry, buy your favorite comfort meal, or take an all-inclusive shower, take this time to nourish your well-being.

Takeaway

Body Shaming remains a prominent problem in the current world, paralyzing us from feeling confident in our skin. However, this doesn’t mean it’s impossible to stand up to it. When we do it properly and respectfully, we’ll be able to help those around us from such comments and avoid any emotional and mental distress in the long run.