Disclaimer: This guide about angry sex discussed in this article refers to consensual activities between experienced adults. We do not promote or condone sexual assault and violence in any form. Please note that this article is not a substitute for professional guidance from a therapist or other related experts.
Sex can be done in different moods. You can be happy and in love, in need of stress relief, sad and in need of comfort, and when you’re angry. Yes, the latter is quite known, but it’s a type that must be threaded properly. Otherwise, you’re at risk of hurting yourself and possibly your partner.
Thus, we’re prepared to help you navigate it wisely and effectively!
In this guide, we’ll discuss what angry sex is and why people are so into it. Alongside this, we’ll share various ways one can engage in angry sex and tips on how to safely pull it off. Let’s ensure safe fun here while being able to explore and discover more about our sexual selves. Happy reading!
What is Angry Sex?
Verywell Mind describes angry sex as “the engagement of pent-up aggression and passion during sexual acts that are often wild and intense.”
Moreover, it’s another way to express anger or even a need to release bottled-up emotions, like stress, without words. It can happen right on the spot during a disagreement, or a few hours or days later when your emotions have calmed down. That would be called makeup sex, but it’s pretty much under the same umbrella since strong-willed emotions were involved.
Most of the time, couples engage in angry sex, given that they already have quite the history together. And well, conflict and misunderstandings arise over time, in which some can transition to sex. And also, the signs that come with anger are the same as arousal. Increased heart rate, dilated pupils, having tenser muscles,
Furthermore, such sex usually temporarily replaces discussing relationship issues. Then again, not everything can be solved through sex, and establishing proper communication is still a strong pillar in a healthy relationship. That way, having angry sex words in the favor of all parties.
Why Do People Engage in Angry Sex?
Browse through this section to unravel the various reasons people are into angry sex.
1 It resolves tension between those involved.
Tension is very evident when you and your partner are at odds, ready to tackle the issue and make your points. Yet through angry sex, that tension can massively simmer as you get lost in each other’s presence. You can also use that tension to brainstorm all the different ways you’d want to have sex with them. Perhaps turning it into sexual tension instead will bring you closer, no matter how mad you guys are at each other.
2 It feels like an escape from the world.
Generally, sex is an activity that requires your full presence and awareness to make it enjoyable. Thus, you get to stray away from your usual routine even for a bit and unleash your hidden desires.
3 It releases suppressed emotions.
We’ve mentioned how angry sex has a lot of strong emotions involved that make it stand out from the others. Thus, when finally set free, it drives a couple to go up and beyond to maximize them to their advantage. They’d also feel more relaxed and clear-minded as they keep going yet still in the “angry zone” with all that intensity and passion.
4 It makes one step outside of their comfort zone.
There’s this powerful adrenaline rush with a pack of intense emotions that comes along with you when you want to have angry sex. Hence, those things make it easy and natural for you to step outside your bubble and explore new things.
5 It reconnects you and your partner.
Despite the heavy feelings of anger and stress, any kind of sex releases all sorts of happy and feel-good hormones like dopamine (feeling of reward), endorphins (pain relievers), oxytocin (love hormone), and serotonin (mood regulator).
As a result, we tend to feel much more at ease post-sex and have a clearer headspace. Even more so when either one of you brings up your relationship dilemma again. At least this time, you’d properly make your points without strife and further let off some steam. Furthermore, this improved conversation can strengthen your bond and connection.
Different Ways to Have Angry Sex
If you want to explore the various ropes of angry sex, keep reading this vital section. And mind you, all of them must be practiced with respect, mutual consent, and strong boundaries set in place.
1 Dirty Talk
Literally one of the best ways to start angry sex! Calling someone names or profanities with a deeper tone can rile up more arousal, making the mood a lot more heated. And words alone are capable of getting someone off as it’s a way to establish dominance and control. Starting off here before anything else and continuing it can make angry sex a lot more memorable and animalistic.
2 Degradation
Pretty in line with the previous point, but with more actions this time. Degradation is ideal for angry sex as they humiliate each other but with consent and boundaries set in place. It also releases stress, which is also the point of angry sex.
Some examples of degradation acts consist of the following:
- Hair Pulling
- Overstimulation
- Choking
- Dom/Sub Dynamics
- Treating them like a child
- “Forcing” them to do the deed with you
- Insulting each other’s sex game
3 Roleplay
Embarking on roleplay can amp up angry sex, using those emotions to channel a different persona for a change. Plus, who wouldn’t want to play dress up here? Stick to themes like Enemies to Lovers, Academic Rivals, or anything that involves rivalry to max out your anger.
4 Wearing easy-to-rip clothes
Angry sex has a lot of riled-up frustration, wherein you just want to go ahead and absolutely devour them in bed. And what’s one barrier blocking you two. Those would be your clothes. So when it comes to angry sex, especially when planned out, you’d be wearing clothes that you’re okay with getting torn apart rather than being patient in taking them off. No! Angry sex is about that adrenaline rush and passion, not wanting to waste a second longer just because of clothes.
You both may also opt to wear flimsy clothes that you’re okay with tattering during angry sex.
5 Edging
There’s nothing more annoying than feeling an o’ coming, and then it crashes when your partner pulls away. But also, it can be thrilling and only elevate things from there as you do it again and again in preparation for a much stronger o’. Those thigh shakes and heavy breaths are only the preview of what’s to come (before you come). And while it all depends on perspective, it doesn’t hurt to try this activity out during angry sex!
Edging also lengthens the session you have with your boo as the arousal heightens and always keeps you wanting more. I mean, you can’t have it all right away when you’re having angry sex, right? Gotta tease a lot before giving in!
Moreover, this activity can be like a fun challenge that will test your pride before you cave to your partner’s rules.
6 Impact Play
When mad, spank it out! This BDSM-type of play works well during angry sex, wherein letting out impact is both rough yet enjoyable and relieving. Considering that there are many types of impact play tools, like a whip or paddle, you have options on how you’d want this to play out. But the main takeaway here would be to leave your mark and reclaim your partners as yours.
7 Bondage
This activity involves one person getting tied up with rope while the other controls and pleases them in any they want. Such restraint puts you at the mercy of your boo, wherein you just have to follow their orders. And as a reward for your obedience, they can either lessen the grip or remove the rope. But where’s the fun in that?
This activity is great for angry sex to teach someone a lesson while also helping each other let out some pent-up steam.
8 Spontaneous Sex
This kind of sex falls under angry sex, wherein most of the time, you can’t really predict your emotions and how you’d resolve them (if anger is involved). Hence, doing things sponty creates more thrill in your relationship and unlocks more things about yourselves. It can look like trying a new crazy sex position, doing it at a semi-public location (safely), or finally getting to use that new sex toy that neither of you got to use. Even doing things faster counts!
This type of sex varies per person, so get extra creative and imaginative here!
9 Cutting someone off to be sexual
May it be through a heated argument or seeing them all stressed after work, angry sex may just remedy that. It can start as a powerful kiss, transitioning to a feisty makeout session wherever you are and letting them take control to ease all their stress. Or maybe you can battle out for control if you two are at odds from your fight, yet still connecting with one another and respecting your choices.
10 Wild Sex Positions
Angry sex is a chance for you to get wild as you focus more on passion and intensity over being gentle and sweet. The sky’s the limit for you to go absolutely bonkers with your boo. As a result, there’s no sex position you wouldn’t want to do when you’re all riled up.
Some examples of wild sex positions includes:
- The Helicopter
- Pretzel
- Triceratops
- Squatting Doggy
- Backbend Oral
- V-Formation
- Kinky Spider
How to Safely Navigate Angry Sex
Angry sex may seem overwhelming upon hearing it as anger brings up a lot of strong emotions that may feel out of our grasp. However, they can be controlled and safely and expressed through angry sex. Thus, this section provides you with extra guidance on how to have angry sex comfortably.
1 Research more about it.
As much as we’ve shared a lot of information about angry sex, it’s important to keep an open mind when learning about it. Aside from reading this source, it helps to do more extra research to further understand what it is and how to properly act it out. Knowledge is power, after all. Even more so when sex is on the table, and safety should always be a priority. But of course, only do this tip after finishing this guide.
2 Value and uphold consent.
In any type of sexual activity, consent must always be given and present. It’s the mutual agreement of those involved in the deed. Verbal is important when you’re starting out, giving an affirmative “yes” or “I agree to this and that” before letting the non-verbal consent into your dynamic. Consent is not only in sex but in every activity you choose to do in between. Never go beyond what wasn’t discussed or disagreed, and stick to what you both agreed to.
3 Consider the circumstances you’re in.
Be intuitive to the mood of the room you’re in with your partner. Angry sex is an intense type of sex, after all, and you want to make sure you do it at the right time. If you guys do have a fight that’s too intense to try and resort to sex, don’t do it. But if you think your argument has tension that can be solved through body-ody-ody, then go for it.
4 Communicate your needs and boundaries.
Angry sex is a lot more heated and aggressive than the other types. To ensure protection, laying down your own set of needs and boundaries is important. You can discuss your comfort levels, what your yeses and nos are in sex, and ways you can strengthen your emotional intimacy. After all, angry sex is a way to bond emotionally and reconnect when all that tension simmers down.
Alongside this, it’s possible that the sex requires rougher activities. I mean, you’ve read the previous section! With that in mind, discussing the possibilities and agreeing and disagreeing with what you guys can do encourages trust and safety beforehand.
5 Don’t forget aftercare.
Angry sex can be a lot more overwhelming and tiring afterward because it’s both your emotions and physical actions that are involved. And towards the end, you’re both at the edge of them, which is a very fragile state. You wouldn’t want to crash and harbor any more negative feelings towards them, so doing aftercare (and doing it properly) can salvage that.
This final phase of sex is an act of respect and decency towards each other, honoring your partner and the time spent with them. It’s also a way to reassure one another, even more so when you release all the pent-up energy and want to make sure things are okay between you, too. Moreover, this phase is a building block in your emotional bond as well that can ensure no more tension or conflict stand between you two.
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Takeaway
Angry sex is a bold type of sex that requires thorough communication and consent to successfully and safely pull off. Especially when lots of powerful and pent-up emotions are involved, you’d want to avoid hurting anyone in the process and mostly focus on diffusing the tension and elevating the intimacy between partners. And do make sure to check in with one another and practice aftercare!
For more sex-related guides like this, check out the Lauvblog over here.
