On every birthday, it’s a must we have a blast in the ways we want because we only have that day out of 365-6 days. Not that we place it on such a high pedestal, but we deserve only the best on our special day. And what more can we ask for (aside from being with our close companions and favorite activities) than lively mind-blowing birthday sex? Get blown away (literally) and make a wish or two because anything you want in this type of sex is possible.
Follow this steamy guide of must-try play ideas for birthday sex if your birthday is coming up or for future reference when it’s come and passed.
Defining Birthday Sex
Aside from being a popular song by Jeremih, birthday sex is self-explanatory. From Urban Dictionary, birthday sex is referred as:
“Obligation-free sex which happens on or around someone’s birthday. Usually initiated by the birthday boy/girl’s partner, and involving a mix of acts which more favor the birthday boy/girl’s preferences.”
We do this because well, don’t we all love to get some action on our birthday? Sex makes us happy, just like how our birthdays are set up to be when celebrated. Adding them together, birthday sex exhilarates us because it’s a pathway to engage in acts out of regular sex.
People enjoy this type of sex because the birthday celebrant is the main character. They’re in control, and their needs are the top priority. Sex therapist Dulcinea Pitigora mentions how people are more sex driven on their birthdays and that “our perspective is that birthdays in effect give us permission to be the center of attention, be given gifts, and make special requests.”
Birthday sex isn’t the main event but rather a part of a bigger celebration. We have the entire day to spend our birthday with loved ones and embark on fun festivities. Then by night time, birthday sex is a private reward we get to share with our partner. It’s also an avenue to explore new kinks and fantasies, wherein it’s obvious who the giver and receiver are. In other words, the birthday celebrant is the receiver, while their partner is the giver.
Birthdays consist of receiving gifts, and whoever the birthday celebrant is, they’ll be abundant with oozing pleasure from their giving partner through their mouth, fingers, and their private parts. Oh, and the birthday celebrant can orgasm whenever and wherever they desire.
Safe Birthday Sex Play Ideas
No matter what your views are, you should treat your birthday well because it’s another year of being alive and hopeful. But if you’re lazy and all (because it happens, don’t worry), let’s kick it off strong with these daring birthday sex play ideas that’ll get you off your feet right away!
1 Get sweet with food play.
Perhaps there’s more to birthday cake than consuming it at a party. Because who knows, you’d much prefer letting your partner eat them off you on your most sensitive and private part! Just don’t forget the tongue, fellas, especially the tip!
Food play can get messy, which may not be the cream of the crop for most couples. However, wouldn’t it be more delicious to wipe the mess away, right? For a sweet day (or night rather), you’re not just limited to cake. Bring whipped cream, ice cream, chocolate syrup, and maybe some cherries. Aren’t those the fundamental ingredients of an ice cream sundae? Spread those ingredients all over the birthday celebrant. For example, place the ice cream on the nipples, the cherry on their lips, syrup all over their body, and whipped cream on their private part. The different temperatures also make the experience more erotic.
2 Create a sex menu for the birthday celebrant.
Can’t decide on what you want to do in the bedroom? Sort your keen needs by constructing a menu with your favorite sexual acts or experimental ones you’ve never tried before. Inserting different locations, like couch, hotel room, etc, aids ignite an extra fire on this steamy night. But remember to prioritize whatever the birthday celebrant wants and please them how they want to.
This menu can be handwritten, or through a private online file only you and your partner can access. It also helps to research more spicy things to do to widen your options before widening those legs.
3 Group sex!
Birthday sex lets you finally free your hidden desires without guilt or fault. It is your special day after all, and it’ll be even better if your significant other is onboard on this fantasy. Have them in the planning process with you and communicate the yes and no’s when bringing another person or persons into your sex life.
Get a clear view of who you want to invite to this private afterparty, then inform them about it. Await their reply, which should be a yes because it’s your day! Have open ears to hear what kinks the other parties involved want to unleash in the bedroom, think about it for a bit, then let them know what you and your partner discuss. Because sometimes having more heads eager to please is better than one, right?
4 Start off with great, ol’ oral sex.
You can never go wrong with swirling head in the morning of your day. It makes the anticipation of the actual deed more intense and fun. So whether they’re on the feet dressing up or still in bed, it wouldn’t hurt to sneak some sucking and licking before they get their gears running. Make sure to get their consent first, then treat them well until they release themselves on your precious lips. And oh, swallow it all down! Take it like a champ for them.
5 Perform a seductive striptease.
Removing clothes as is? Boring. Taking your precious time in discarding each article of clothing like a teasing bunny? Sign me up! The art of stripteasing hints at the idea of sex without any physical touching. Just your curious eyes viewing your partner (or vice versa) strip themselves while they move their body to their own rhythm and coordination.
Having music playing in the background plays increases the sexual tension, alongside sauntering towards the birthday celebrant and touching them (but they can’t touch you). You can also tap into a different identity here, like an erotic dancer, a dreamy firefighter, or an innocent secretary. Don’t be afraid to shed some skin and get your partner on their knees for you.
6 Channel your sexplorer self with sensation play.
Have you ever wanted to intensify your 5 senses during the deed, to be fully aware, only to be completely smashed? That’s possible with sensation play, which makes a perfect activity to indulge in for birthday sex. From ASMR, feeling different textures on your skin, and even getting into bondage, the ideas are endless! Drive your senses (as you should) wild for your birthday without regrets, and witness what unlocked desires you have after the first try.
7 Tease them all day long.
There’s no better way to kick off your or your significant other’s special day than doing suggestive actions with implied intentions. Sexually implied intentions. Because teasing often makes bedroom play much more enjoyable alongside foreplay.
Maybe a brush on their bare shoulder, a kiss on their neck, sending a picture of your breast, or even your covered bulge, rile each other up real good so you can eventually let all the frustration go in the right places. Aside from the bedroom, we suggest the living room, kitchen, bathroom, or even their car if you’re on the complete verge.
8 Go sex toy shopping.
Turns out that even adults can still go toy shopping, but for something much more explosive! For the ladies, get a clit sucker, dildo, or vibrator. Then for the gents, perhaps purchase a fleshlight or a cock ring. If you’re both into anal play, get an anal plug. You can always check our site for diverse options here.
9 Go on a heated vacation.
You don’t want to drop this idea if you’re financially capable. Even for a weekend, go somewhere private yet romantic with your partner for their birthday. A change in scenery can ease your senses and make you yearn to try something fresh and new aside from the implied sexual activity.
You can forget your worries at home and take this time to appreciate the birthday celebrant. It allows you to be present and aware, which is perfect when you read their body language to know what they’re sexually and romantically craving for.
10 Give the birthday celebrant a massage.
Either you or they had a long day of accepting greetings and gifts from their close companions and definitely had a celebration too, so you must be exhausted. So getting a relaxing massage will calm your muscles and mind, focusing only on being taken care of and recharging your energy. Use oils and get your hands slippery before eventually letting your partner’s tip slip in, alongside affectionate kisses and sounds filling the room. Or maybe hump against their shaft to get them hard while they tweak your nipples.
11 Settle for some Netflix and chill.
If you’re looking for a laidback or “chill” way to celebrate your birthdays while still being dirty in bed, this play idea is for you. So you don’t have to be on this streaming platform, but playing a bunch of films (the birthday celebrant’s favorites especially) is a calming way to celebrate your special day. It’s guaranteed that you’ll be happy with seeing your favorite characters on screen no matter how many times you’ve seen them. Invest in a projector to watch rather than just linking your laptop to the tv or any of those devices alone. Go all out!
But to make things escalate, play your favorite adult or mature films on screen with vivid scenes of sexual activity between the main characters. That should give both of you the initiative to do something about your growing need for sex. Then before you know it, the films are background noise to the powerful sounds of their thrusts and your moans.
12 Establish a “No Sex” rule beforehand.
If you love a challenge, may we suggest this persistent one? If you have a high sexual drive, take a chance of holding yourself back when your significant other’s special day is near. Because the distance makes the heart fonder, that also goes with your vulva and cock when they aren’t stimulated for a long time. So if you’re brave enough, this challenge is your go-to.
Do this a week or a few days before their special day. Because honey, once you’re together alone, you will not get your hands off each other. Expect loads of pounding from any surface of the room, with endless moans and groans after being pent up for so long. Yet it’s ever so rewarding when you pull it off, and you may want to do it again with the next birthday.
13 Use a blindfold!
Beginners or experts, everyone fancies having their eyes shut off now and then for sex. And birthday sex is no exception if you want a fiery sexcapade wherein you are deprived of one of the main senses in your body. You’ll never know what’ll occur to you (as long as it’s safe), whether they’ll spank your butt, kiss you senselessly, thrust you deeply, or even lap on your lower lips with your tongue. There’s thrill when you have no idea what to expect on your birthday, but they’d be a guaranteed pleasure-giver.
14 Play a sex-related game to steam things up.
Who doesn’t love to get playful? Especially in sex, there are many ways to act that way and unleash your creativity. Plus, you get to see a different side of yourself and your partner regarding sex. Some examples of games are strip poker and love dice.
15 Embark on escort-customer roleplay.
Who doesn’t want to do some roleplay on their birthday? There’s nothing more liberating than playing a different persona tonight, so if this is a roleplay scenario either you or your partner have been waiting to unfold, hop right in! Like we said earlier, you’re the main character of your birthday.
This scenario can unfold with the birthday celebrant as the customer and their partner as the escort. The customer availed of the birthday sex services of a popular escort services company, and they sent their best escort to the celebrant. Act as complete strangers, only to be absolutely devoted to each other when you get touchy and sexual. The escort shall take charge most of the time as they follow whatever order their customer gives them, like no hands while kissing, blindfolded while pleasing the celebrant, and engaging in tasty food play. However, the customer can change positions since they “availed” their services, so they can spank the escort, spit in their mouth while doing the deed, and even mark them with hickies on their chest. Throw away that professionalism, and go ham with each other!
16 Have a naughty scavenger hunt.
Aside from the actual deed, there must be some other gift-giving prepared. But why not make it quite playful, like hiding your gifts in certain areas and leaving clues to find them? A bonus here would be that some gifts are related to sex to tease them. Then when you find all the hidden gifts, unwrap them together and for the sexy ones (like lingeries or toys), incorporate them in your bedroom for the night.
17 Make a consensual sex tape.
Unleash your inner porn start (especially if it’s your fantasy) tonight by recording you and your partner going down and dirty on the birthday celebrant’s day. It’ll make you blush to keep a permanent memory of that night you can look back on when you’re needy and/or your partner isn’t available to please you. Whether you have high-end equipment or stick to your phone, having a private sex tape allows you to see what you’re like when you’re getting freaky and embrace your sexual side more.
18 Do the deed in the tub.
Eager to get extra wet? Take your birthday sex party to the tub, wherein you can maximize all that physical touch with drops of water washing all over your bodies. As long as you’re aware of possible risks and practice proper hygiene, tub sex can be intimate since you’re close to your partner and can do any sex position with them.
19 Create a sex position handbook.
There’s nothing more visual-aid friendly than compiling your favorite sex positions and positions you want to try with your partner in one holy handbook. Let this book be your reference when you and your partner are in the mood, whether for rough or soft sex. And definitely, you’ll want to take it up a notch with both new and old sex positions for birthday sex. So prepare that stamina ahead of time!
We suggest 69, cowgirl (reverse and normal), doggy style, and Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). Feel free to add more variations to raise the steam in the bedroom and hit angles in you like never before. Because when you do, that’ll make your birthday a lot more memorable.
20 Use a new sex toy.
Who doesn’t like presents? Whether you went shopping with them or this was a complete surprise to them, gifting the birthday celebrant with a new sex toy elicits excitement at the novelty. Sex is bound for variety in trying new things, so adding a new sex toy changes the routine. And of course you’d want to go all out for birthday sex, so this new toy can bring out new memories and orgasms.
Birthday Sex Tips
Knowing now the wide range of birthday sex play ideas we shared, we prepared our top tips to keep in mind before blowing those candles out and igniting more flames in the bedroom (or wherever else you want to do the deed). Read this informative section to learn more about them.
1 Plan ahead of time.
Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. Birthday sex tends to be seen highly, especially for the upcoming birthday celebrant. Like how they plan to celebrate their day, they don’t miss out on the after-hours part when they’re alone with their partner. So by this time, you must know what they want sex-wise!
Learn what kinks or fantasies they either want to relive or try to do and even decorate your space to make it more romantic and steamy. It also helps to give any extra parties (for group sex) a heads-up so they can get ready too. You can start planning a month or a few weeks before the big day.
2 Set the mood.
So by the time you and your partner are alone, don’t rush just yet. Hands off first, and take your time in elevating the mood and sexual tension between you too. Talk about your day so far, and maybe pour an extra glass of wine while overlooking whatever scenery unfolds before you. Lighting up scented candles or dimming the lights allows you to focus only on them and ignite tension (the good and spicy kind).
Or maybe during the day, leave each other heartfelt text messages or notes around your space to remind each other of your affection. Really take this time to get emotionally connected so the first kiss you’ll share will feel natural and effortless.
3 Make a sexy playlist.
Music can bring a lot of people together if words aren’t enough. Hence, having a shared playlist of all your favorite sex songs in one can instantly rile the two of you up for sex. Commonly, R&B songs, aka “bedroom music,” are often used, which only increases intimacy and releases hidden emotions and desires. Then again, a sexy playlist is subjective to everyone. Use music to be clear with your intentions and tap into your sexier side.
4 Indulge in aphrodisiacs.
While you eat your cake, why not eat your way to the heated deed too? That’s why aphrodisiacs exist, a type of food or treat that can heighten your love senses like sight, smell, taste, and touch. They can give you feel-good sensations alongside antioxidants for your blood flow. So if you’re into food play, incorporating more aphrodisiacs can make birthday sex much more satisfying.
5 Take advantage of lube.
Birthday sex is all about going all in with a bang, so why not add some lube in the mix? Sure, the ladies self-lubricate so they can get wet enough for the deed. Yet lube is an extra tool that can make penetrative sex feel satisfying and toe-curling, and when you activate your sex toys in between. Plus, you’ll get access to new sensations and protection from any sexual accidents. Oh, and they’re flavored too if you’re down for tasty oral sex.
For sex toys, water-based lube is ideal. Skin-to-skin, silicone-based lube will last longer without any reapplication.
6 Hydrate!
You must be aware that you won’t be doing just one round of sex when it comes to birthday sex. In fact, you’re in for a long night that you’ve desired. So in between every round, take breaks and get yourselves some water to keep you hydrated and energized for every sexual action you do.
7 Listen to each other’s body language.
Body language aids in communicating your needs and emotions non-verbally, so it’s an advantage to know what your partner is feeling when you’re doing the deed. Observe their moans and how they move their hips with yours. Watch how their eyes crinkle when you hit that spot in them, holding you tight as their orgasm nears. This goes both ways so you can achieve maximum pleasure.
8 Dress to impress!
If you’re doing any roleplay (like one of the play ideas we suggested), dressing the part gets you more into character. Or if you’re doing foreplay, wear your best lingerie or clothes before they get ripped off your skin. But feeling daring already? Go straight away to your birthday suits and get your groove going!
9 Drink responsibly.
Of course, when you’re celebrating your birthday, there will be drinks involved. But if you know deep down that you have plans of getting laid, we suggest toning your drinking habits down especially low tolerance. We may make drunk mistakes, but having birthday sex with someone you’ll regret isn’t how you should go off with a bang. As for those with partners, drunk sex won’t be the best, and you won’t feel all the sensations. Plus, you’re in no room to give consent. So as much as possible, keep yourselves sober and know your drinking boundaries.
10 Practice aftercare.
Whether the birthday sex was rough or soft, aftercare is key to topping off an incredible evening. Especially on the giver’s end, it reassures the receiver that they are loved and appreciated. Plus, it gives you both a much milder headspace if you’re either heading to bed or resuming the birthday celebration with non-sexual activities.
Some examples of aftercare you can do post-birthday sex include:
- Cuddling in bed after washing up.
- Talking about anything, especially about the birthday celebrant’s day
- Clean up if you partake in food play.
- Shower together to rid your discharges and sweat off because we want to rest up fresh and new.
- Greeting them happy birthday as the cherry on top of an incredible birthday smash.
Takeaway
No matter how we view it, birthday sex is something we crave to be amazing whenever it comes our way. Even if sex should always be enjoyable, doing the deed on our birthday is a celebration of life and what’s to come. Or rather, for you to come and gain numerous orgasms! So in case it’s not your birthday yet, or if it’s already passed, bookmark this article so you’ll have an orgasmic birthday you’ll never forget.
