What Makes Up Great Sex? Let’s Talk About It!

The route to having great sex is subjective. Yet we all want to experience such sex in our lifetimes, especially on our own terms! But we do know for sure that having great sex involves a lot of teamwork and learning everything about your sexual self first before involving your partner in the mix.

If you’re eager to hack great sex into your current or future relationships, this guide is for you! We’ll discuss the various characteristics and habits that lead to having great sex, alongside tips on how to improve your succeeding sexcapades.

Happy reading!

Characteristics and Habits of Great Sex Between Couples

Browse through this lengthy section for a better idea of what counts as great sex between most (or the majority of) partners.

1 Having honest and effective communication skills

Communication is essential in any aspect of life, especially sex. It’s how you give your consent to someone and vice versa, and know more about what each of you crave and not crave during sex. It encourages you to speak up about your boundaries and limits as well.

As a result, you’re always on the same page. There are no secrets, just transparency, even on things that you think are cringey and weird.

2 Balance of sensuality and intensity

Being able to go both the yin and yang of sex shows that you’re flexible and keen to unravel different aspects of yourselves. In other words, both of you can make love if you feel all romantic and want to take things slow. But on the other hand, you both can also have kinky, more passionate sexcapades that make you more playful, rougher, and thrilling in regards to pleasure.

This characteristic of great sex shows that you both can cater to your changing moods and desires. 

3 Knowing your body well

Sometimes, the starting point to having great sex starts with yourself. Perhaps by laying in bed and touching your nude body, it provides you better insights on your pleasure spots and how to stimulate them. You may even add a mirror for clearer viewing. In other words, masturbation is really the way to go from here.

Whatever way you choose to become more acquainted with your body, you’ll take advantage of it. That way, you’d be able to teach your partner how to please you and know yourself a lot better. 

Don’t let the blind (you) lead the blind (them).

4 Having high levels of confidence

Having strong confidence in general is a mental win, lessening any stress and nerves around you. You also feel less tension and are more likely to focus on your tasks. In this case, you’re more aware and present when doing the deed and state what and what doesn’t make you feel good.

By feeling sexually confident, you’re not concerned about your capabilities either when you’re alone with your partner. None of that performance-related anxiety or jitters; you feel more in control when you are confident.

5 Enjoy exploring together

The sky’s the limit when it comes to sex, even more so when you have someone by your side to explore it with. There’s no kink or fantasy too crazy for you both to try out, even the ones you personally enjoy. But at the same time, you respect each other’s boundaries and limits.

While you try all sorts of activities, there’s always enjoyment surrounding it. You never have a dull moment, even if you two falter on your first try. It’s all part of the fun.

6 Feeling safe around each other

When you feel safe with your partner, you’re more vulnerable and honest with them. At the same time, having a safe environment encourages open and free discussion without doubts, judgments, and rejection. As a result, you can trust each other more, and there’s no secrecy or hidden pent-up emotions toward one another. Such pros also lead to deeper emotional intimacy when engaging in physical pleasure.

7 Connection over orgasming

First and foremost, prioritizing the connection you have with your partner pulls you away from having goal-oriented sex. These days, people are doing the deed for the sake of an o’, which slowly dims the magic sex holds.

When you’re in the zone, fully connected with your partner during sex, you feel closer to them. You can read their body language, giving them more of what they need and vice versa. In turn, orgasm would seem like a strong bonus to have if the sex due to a deep connection is good. Yet a couple who have great sex with one another wouldn’t hyper-fixate or obsess over it. 

And again, that’s because they prioritize having a powerful connection.

8Being physically active

When you’re physically active, your body can reach a wider range of motion. You’re able to hold yourselves a lot stronger when things get strenuous, may it be hovering over your partner during missionary sex or lasting a few more rounds post-orgasm bliss. At the same time, you have a much better mood thanks to all those hormones released in your body. Like we’re talking double endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine!

9 No skipping of foreplay

Foreplay is what sets the mood way before sex. Nobody likes things that are rushed, and sex is one of them. Doing that can be disastrous and even physically hurt you because foreplay is where arousal occurs, making you wet or hard.

Aside from foreplay, we want to add the foreplay of the foreplay. That would be called simmering, wherein you have a quick moment with your boo to get all excited. Yet given your circumstances, you can’t do the deed yet. That just extends the anticipation and desire towards one another. 

An example of this is giving a cheek kiss to your boo before you both leave for work, but maintaining deep eye contact that reads your desire for one another. But then again, you’ll wait until you’re both free to let out some sensual steam. 

10 Using sex toys

A couple who has great sex would know that sex toys are friends, not enemies in the bedroom! 

Firstly, there’s a variety of sex toys to explore out there that focus on pleasing different genitalia and erogenous zones. They further enhance the experience we get from just using our hands. Furthermore, sex toys unlock new sensations and experiences when we use them with a partner. Like who would’ve thought your partner liked getting stimulated in public through a panty vibrator?

Other than that (and other scenarios), sex toys open up more discussions regarding sexual wellness and fantasies. It may just bring you closer to your boo as you understand each other better.

11 Equal exchange of pleasure

This aspect of achieving great sex ensures that you and your partner feel valued and seen. When you both play an active role as a giver and receiver in the bedroom, neither of you feels empty or “kulang”. Plus, it encourages teamwork, wherein the two of you work on what makes the other feel good, and so on.

12 Being able to be playful

Great sex occurs when you’re able to be playful and goofy in bed. See, even if things get sensual, you can still tease one another without ruining the mood. In fact, it just adds more fuel to your fire, bringing you two closer.

Or in case something unexpected occurs, like a random squeak between your and their leg because of friction, you can laugh it off. Because hey, sex isn’t picture-perfect. What matters more is being together and indulging those silly moments in between.

13 Prioritizing protection

This characteristic is so important! Sex may be fun, but doing it without any protection can lead you to unexpected circumstances. May it be an unplanned pregnancy or contracting an STI, these can be challenging to overcome.

Using protection shows that you can make better informed decisions, in which you care for your and your partner’s overall well-being. For penetration, a barrier method of protection like condoms can reduce the risk of contracting STIs. Then for oral sex, using a dental dam or condom is also worth considering.

You can also pair this up with hormonal means of protection like birth control and surgical means like a vasectomy. However, with the latter, you may want to discuss further with your partner and a doctor if you have plans to have a family in the future.

14 Scheduling it right

Timing is crucial, and sex is not an exception. It’s always ideal to do the deed when you both are in good spirits and can consent. Doing it in a bad mood can only cause stress and tension between you two. 

Many people choose to do it after work to relieve stress or spend time with their partner after a long day. Others may like to do it in the morning before the hustle and bustle comes to life.

15 Setting the right intention

Are you having sex for fun? Is it to bond with your partner more? Are you curious to try something different yet hot? Or do you want to explore sex positions that prioritize comfort?

Sex without reason feels empty and a waste of time. So for you to have great sex with your partner, the two of you must set positive intentions when you do the deed. It helps if you two are aligned so you feel more connected in understanding and answering each other’s needs.

How to Improve Your Sexual Experiences

Get on the road for more mind-blowing and memorable sexcapades through this enlightening section.

1 Make time for one another.

Regardless of how busy you can be, carving out time for sex indicates that it’s a valuable part of your relationship. It also shows your efforts to have that special moment with them no matter what life offers.  Plus, as we age, our bodies decrease in mobility and mental sharpness. Hence, having sex becomes more challenging. Thus, it’s important to take advantage of our active bodies while we still can.

2 Set a sex schedule.

Hey now, this doesn’t mean we aren’t for spontaneous sexcapades. 

But planning our sexcapades is a prevalent way of showing that sex is a priority. You see, sex is a way to spend quality time with someone rather than seeing it as a task that must be done. Isn’t that how we most view schedules as something related to work?

However, let this tip reframe your initial thoughts. Aside from prioritizing quality time, it gives a strong sense of anticipation and makes sex more intentional.

Spoiler: Setting a sex schedule is not as boring or a killjoy moment as some of you may presume it to be unless you try it for yourself.

3 Try something new each time.

This tip breaks away from routine and monotony, fully avoiding relationship and sexual boredom. Some ways to act on it can include trying a new sex position that’s on the wild side, a new kink focused on degrading you, or even a new roleplay scenario after getting that new dragon dildo. Novelty brings you fresh experiences and encourages a deeper connection.

4 Debrief with one another.

Great sex extends during the post-sex phase, wherein you and your partner talk about what went right and what can be improved. This fosters clearer understanding and honesty so that the next sexcapades bring more fulfillment to you. Plus, debriefing improves your emotional bond, a strong foundation in your relationship.

5 Don’t forget aftercare.

Still on the topic of post-sex, sex aftercare ensures that you’re taken care of since sex puts your emotions on such a crazy high. Having an abrupt transition, may it be to simply leave and not talk to them again, it paves the way to post-coital dysphoria. 

Sex aftercare also aids in processing your emotions better and brings you to a relaxed state. From there, you can reignite your bond and nurture one another. This phase of sex can look like cuddling, pillow talk, buying each other your favorite food, and cleaning up after one another.

6 Attend couples therapy together.

This tip can help in addressing any deep concerns you may have with your partner regarding sex. It also helps improve your communication skills, especially with a therapist monitoring the flow of things.

Another thing we want to point out here is that you don’t need to go to therapy only when things are going wrong. Even when everything has been going right, it always helps to have professional help to show you new perspectives and techniques for improving your relationship that you’ve never thought of before.

Overall, couples therapy helps couples trust each other better and experience more personal growth, which can be an advantage in their relationship.

Takeaway

Great sex requires both partners to put in the work to make it work. Doing it one-sided is a recipe for disaster, making you wonder if the person you’re with is worth your time. Besides the point, there are a lot of ways to have great sex. It’s also something personal as some ways that you believe are the way to great sex may not apply to others. Regardless, it’s important to achieve great sex safely and comfortably that makes both you and your partner satisfied. Plus, don’t give up just yet if the sex isn’t up to par yet — you probably haven’t tried every possible solution out there!

For more sex-related guides, check us on the Lauvblog here.