Hold up, is masturbation considered cheating?
You’re allowed to feel shocked by such a question. Or a mix of disbelief and confusion. Because yes, there are people who think that masturbation is an act of cheating when you’re in a relationship. But reality check: it isn’t. And we have the reasons why that is so.
But first, what’s cheating?
Cheating can be subjective, depending on the couples’ boundaries. mindbodygreen states that the lines of behaviors that count as cheating and not vary, meaning they only get to define what actions count as cheating is in their relationship.
But to provide a more broad and brief definition, Choosing Therapy defines cheating as actions wherein “someone betrays or violates these boundaries” set with their partner. Cheating can occur due to the cheater’s individual (and usually selfish) actions. It can go as far as being micro through small actions and words, having a one-time thing with a person outside of the relationship, or having a full-on extramarital relationship.
And along with cheating, you become sneaky and dishonest with your partner. You’re relying on another person for your sexual and romantic affairs, and that’s terrible. In other words, please don’t be a cheater.
6 Reasons Why Masturbation is Not Cheating
On to the cherry on top of this short listicle! So if anyone asks you “hey, is masturbation considered cheating?”, here are our top reasons that emphasize why the answer is no.
1 You can’t cheat with your partner with yourself.
Who said that sexual activities only occur with another person? Before they came along, it was just you. And during that time, you were curious and slowly started experimenting on your own. As early as our teenage years, when puberty hit, all these physical and hormonal changes would eventually make us wonder and venture about anything sexual. It’s a part of life!
And realistically speaking, your partner can’t fulfill every single need and desire you have. They are not a one-man quick fix wherein all your desires are fulfilled simultaneously. It’s not right of us to put them on a high pedestal regarding our pleasure. Not just this, it takes away the magic of masturbation and how natural and normal for us to do it.
2 Masturbation is an avenue of self-exploration.
Masturbation allows us to learn more about our bodies, as every single body out there is unique. What gets us off sexually may not work for others, and vice versa. Masturbation is something we take with us as we grow up as our bodies change and mature, alongside getting new fantasies over time that excite us when we bring them to life. Through masturbation, it’s simply a healthy way to venture through each curve and part of our body as they unlock various sexual interests and preferences. We focus on our personal intimacy and even switch up the routine, which helps with our growth and awareness in terms of sex and as a person.
3 Masturbation is private.
Everyone has the right to personal privacy and act on whatever they want with their body. Most of the time, masturbation is known as a private activity as people prefer to relish in their personal pleasure without anyone’s interference or extra external factors intruding on them. They get off better when they have their special alone time, and everyone needs that, even if you’re in a relationship! Place this activity as a part of your boundaries even.
Unless we’re on the topic of mutual masturbation, that’s a whole different idea since you and your partner have communicated about it prior. We’ll get into this more later on.
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4 It’s a way to relieve stress individually.
There are so many benefits of masturbation on our physical and mental health; one is that it brings stress relief. This is due to the endorphins that rush through our bodies, the same chemicals that are released during exercise. Due to this, our mood gets a major boost for the rest of the day, and we focus on our tasks at hand better. We can think better too! So to connect this outlet of stress relief to cheating doesn’t add up when there are times that relationships are responsible for giving you stress.
5 It’s an act of self-love.
The sexual connection you have with yourself is special. You have your own sets of desires and needs, wherein some of them are best fulfilled by yourself. Both sexual and emotional needs. Taking matters into your hands (literally) or with some sex toys (plugging that we have high-quality options here) is a way to connect and understand yourself better. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, no matter how many times society wants to prove you otherwise! Thus, a special connection made through masturbation shouldn’t be considered as cheating in a relationship.
Masturbation empowers you to become your most confident and highest self day by day. It’s not an act of emotional betrayal to your partner in the slightest.
6 Masturbation lets your partner know more about your pleasure.
Mutual masturbation has rejoined the chat.
There are many ways to act on this kind of masturbation, but in this case, one way is to have your partner watch you please yourself. Before continuing on this topic, we’d like to emphasize the importance of giving and receiving consent here! This is a more intimate and rather constructive approach, wherein you connect with yourself and the various sensations as you touch yourself. On the other end, your partner can watch how you bring self-pleasure and take mental notes for better understanding.
Or if not mutual masturbation, you put all your focus to delve into your sexual preferences and interests during your private time. Then after that, you can share all those notes and observations you made with your partner, so they apply in your next sexcapades.
This reason emphasizes the importance and value of two things: having an open mind and constant communication with your partner. Sexual needs are just as important because they can further strengthen your relationship. Work together rather than call it cheating.
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But wait, is there a way wherein masturbation can interfere with a relationship?
Let’s balance things out, shall we?
As much as masturbation is something that we shouldn’t consider as cheating, there are certain instances wherein masturbation can cause a rift in your relationship. One is that it directly interferes with your relationship, wherein it’s the only intimate act you’ll do. Due to that, you neglect the intimacy between you and your partner. That affects your emotional and physical connection, giving off the impression that you’re unsatisfied with them. Doubt builds up within them about their skills and performance.
Another way wherein masturbation can negatively affect your relationship is if you keep it a secret, as the lack of communication creates a gap between you too. This can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and unmet expectations.
Doing things in excess are never good, and masturbation is no exception. Reaching it to the point can fully disrupt your lifestyle and relationships with others, especially your partner. And if they voice out their concerns, yet you don’t listen to them, it can drastically damage your relationship regarding trust and communication.
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Takeaway
And that concludes a quickie guide about “Is Masturbation Considered Cheating?” Let it be known that most of the time, it’s a no. Yet there are certain factors that can affect your relationship based on your masturbation routine. And the dynamics and communication between your partner dictate what counts as cheating and what isn’t. So the best way to go around is to practice it leisurely and smartly.
If you’re still eager to learn more about interesting topics like this, you can read more through the Lauvblog or our suggested article down below!