Is Mediocre Sex Good or Bad? Let’s Talk About It

Listen, you’re bound to mediocre sex at some point in your life. 

After all, it can occur between people on a one-night stand or a long-term couple. But that doesn’t mean it should be the norm. 

Moreover, it also isn’t automatically equivalent to bad sex in some scenarios. But it’s not the best either. Hence, there’s still that choice to improve on it or even find a better partner who suits our needs and preferences. 

But before we get there, let’s explore the signs that you’re having mediocre sex down below. We’ll also discuss whether or not one should settle with that type of sex, alongside different ways how to better it.

1 Your partner doesn’t know how to please you.

Especially if this partner is from a one-night stand, they’d usually rely on their past experiences to guide through the sexcapade. In turn, you’re most likely to space out and hoping things end. You also fake your orgasms to give them the satisfaction and again, end things. 

But another reason behind this sign is because you don’t know what sparks sexual pleasure for you. Thus, mediocre sex or sex that you overhear from others and media are all you know and rely on.

But do remember that sexual pleasure is fluid, varying per person. What works for one doesn’t apply to the other person.

2 You don’t correct them.

Out of fear, judgment, or not knowing how to do so, you opt not to express your taste in sex. You may not even tell them that they’re not touching your clit, but rather a spot in your vaginal folds.

3 Your emotional needs also sit on the backend.

Sex is not just on the physical side. Mediocre sex makes you feel discontent and even sad that things turned out that way between your partner. But instead of addressing it, you let it wallow you up.

4 There’s not much of a connection between you and your partner.

If you’ve been with your partner for a while, it’s easy for your sparks to fizzle out because you’ve experienced all the possible new things out there. Or so you think. As a result, your sexual connection weakens.

5 You both don’t explore as much.

Whether it’s a one-night stand or with a significant other, neither of you bothers to ask what makes you feel good or suggest new sexual practices to engage in. By making sex a certain routine of activities you’ve done before and repeating it as default, it gets boring. 

Nothing changes if nothing changes!

6 It feels forced.

Especially for couples who’ve been together for a long time, you have sex just for the sake of it. For the sake that you’re a couple and that it’s a couple thing. It’s not something that used to be exciting because you’ve reached your peak and let normalcy creep in. But it shouldn’t be that way!

Should You Settle For It?

Listen, life is too short for sex that’s “just okay” or makes you say “it’ll do”. How sure are you that you’re still alive tomorrow? Yeah, exactly.

Realistically, we know you’re not always feeling a hundred percent on the daily. We all have our highs and setbacks. Yet sex should still be meaningful and fun. Good sex should have diverse looks, which urges you to explore. Avoiding such exploration is what gradually leads to mediocre sex in the first place, alongside not figuring out and communicating your preferences and needs. Moreover, living that way leaves so many desires unanswered, building up frustration and dissatisfaction over time. 

So even if you think that you’re okay with sex being mediocre in the moment, you’re actually setting yourself up for disaster in the future.

Sex can still be exciting and something you look forward to, whether you’ve been with someone for a night or 15 years. Don’t leave it out to dry out for too long.

How to Improve Mediocre Sex

Check this list of tips to better your state of mediocre sex down below.

1 Figure out exactly what makes you come.

How can partnered sex be great if you don’t even know what tricks and activities make your body all heated in the first place? Learning what makes you feel good and eventually orgasm can be uncovered through masturbation and sex toys. If you want your partner involved, you can give them a show through mutual masturbation. 

From there, they take notes of the ways you touch yourself and make yourself moan.

2 Go outside of your bubble.

While already knowing the things you enjoy in the bedroom, it helps to keep an open mind and slowly try new things.

Of course, you should go at your own pace and not force yourself to do your hard limits. But for the activities that you’ve never heard of or your partner enjoys, it’s ideal to consider them. Even small changes during each sexcapade make a huge difference and overall makes sex more thrilling. As a result, your definition of sex expanded and opened more doors for you.

3 Use lube.

What else is there to say? Adding lube increases your sexual pleasure, whether you’re sticking to your favorite activities or uncovering new ones for a change in your usual routine.

4 Schedule a session of intimacy.

It’s so easy to settle for less when there’s no time to be with your partner. With that in mind, scheduling sex can impact the route on which your sex lives are going.

Scheduling sex is a way of maintaining your bond and connection with each other, just like you maintain paying the bills on time. It’s of high priority in your day-to-day life.

5 Be more present and aware.

When the sex is mediocre, it’s so easy to distract yourself from the present moment with more exciting things. But that can only get you so far. So think of it this way: being more present while having sex allows you more knowledge on what’s going on and what can be fixed during it. Mediocre sex at the moment can drastically change when you note down the not-so-good partners and communicate with your partner at the moment. 

For example, you want them to rub your clit instead of them placing their hands on each side of your face during missionary. Or you can even safely rearrange said hand in between your legs. Just imagine the difference that can make so quickly!

Takeaway

Mediocre sex is inevitable and looks different per person. And whether or not it’s a bad thing, it’s subjective. However, it’s not something we should always consistently have. Avoidance and lack of exploration are strong contributing factors to mediocre sex, which should be addressed early on, so such sex isn’t your default type of sex. With that in mind, we hope your tips for improvement can guide you into bettering your sex life.

For more sex-related guides like this one, you can check out the Lauvblog over here.