If you’ve been watching adult-oriented series and movies, you’ve likely come across scenes where the joke revolves around a man losing his erection during sex or climaxing within seconds—like the infamous moment from Kristoffer Borgli’s Dream Scenario. While these scenes are often meant to be funny, they also carry an undertone of shaming men for experiencing a soft penis or not maintaining an erection for as long as their partner might expect.
However, not all men can maintain an erection, and in some cases, they may struggle to achieve one at all. Issues like erectile dysfunction, low testosterone levels, penile injuries, or psychological factors can all contribute to these challenges—problems that often can’t be resolved overnight.
Some men choose to avoid sex or feel apprehensive about it due to their current health issues. However, we believe that everyone deserves sexual satisfaction, regardless of any conditions they may face. So for those with a soft penis, here are some ways you can enjoy solo and partnered sex.
1Try dry humping.
One common misconception about male pleasure is that an erection is absolutely necessary for satisfaction and orgasm. That’s simply not true! Sex is about so much more than just penetration. There are plenty of other activities you can explore with your partner—or even solo—that can lead to amazing satisfaction. One such activity is dry humping.
Dry humping, also known as grinding, is a sexual practice where partners stimulate each other by rubbing their genitals together. This can be done either fully clothed or naked, depending on what feels comfortable for the couple.
To try it, ask your partner to lie on their back, and then you can position yourself on top of them, like the classic missionary sex position. You’ll then move your hips back and forth, with your penis head rubbing onto the glans clitoris, a small nub located at the upper part of the vulva. If you feel too much friction, apply a few drops of water-based lube for a smoother glide.
You can enhance this moment with a steamy makeout session, explore your partner’s body with your hands, or engage in other pleasurable acts. This activity isn’t limited to just one position—you can also try it in cowgirl or lap dance positions for added variety and excitement.
2Make the most out of your hands and mouth.
When someone experiences erectile dysfunction or other conditions affecting their erection, it’s common to feel frustrated, thinking they can no longer satisfy their partner. However, that’s far from true—you can still bring immense pleasure to your partner using your hands and mouth. In fact, consider this as an opportunity to explore how much satisfaction you can provide without relying on penetration.
Here are some resources to check out:
- Cunnilingus Guide: 10 When Going Down to Your Partner
- 16 Vigorous Oral Sex Tips That’ll Make You Come Loads
- How to Give a Rim Job (Level Up Your Booty-Licking Game!)
- How to Give a Blow Job: 35 Incredible Techniques & Tips
- How To Give The Ultimate Hand Job: 20 Best Techniques & Essentials
You can also spice things up with flavored or stimulating lubricants, making the experience even more enjoyable. Don’t forget to let them return the favor—having a soft penis doesn’t mean you can’t experience pleasure, so relax and let them explore, too
3Try the ‘stuffing’ method.
If you’re missing the sensation of your penis gliding in and out of your partner’s vagina, there are ways to bring back that warm, orgasmic feeling. One suggestion is the “stuffing method,” shared by Kristen Lilla, a certified sex therapist and licensed clinical social worker in Omaha, NE, in a WebMD article.
For this method, insert your flaccid penis into the vagina, following a slow grinding motion. While it may not replicate the full sensation of penetration, it’s a viable and intimate alternative that can still provide pleasure for both partners.
4Bring sex toys into the mix.
Another way to have boner-free fun in the bedroom is by using sex toys. If you’re looking for ways to stimulate your partner’s pleasure zones, vibrators, clit suckers, anal beads, and butt plugs are great options to try.
For those still wanting to experience penetrative sex, strap-on dildos are a fantastic solution. These dildos have straps that fit around your hips, allowing you to enjoy penetrative play without the need for an erection. More toy suggestions will follow in the next section.
5Explore different forms of sex.
Sometimes, a change in mindset can make all the difference. Instead of focusing on a goal-oriented approach where sex revolves around penetration, try adopting an explorative mindset. This way, you and your partner can discover new ways to give and receive pleasure.
Activities like anal play, oral sex, and sensual massages are all worth exploring. You might also consider holistic practices like tantric sex, which can deepen intimacy and connection between you and your partner.
Recommended Sex Toys
As mentioned above, one way to enjoy the deed without an erection is through sex toys. So, if you’re interested in getting them yourself, below are some of our bestsellers:
Takeaway
Having a soft penis shouldn’t stop you from you from having sexual experiences. As long as you have an open mind, you can explore many activities with yourself or a partner.
If you haven’t done it already, please consult with a doctor regarding your condition. Most guys tend to avoid seeing a doctor due to shame and stigma, but erection issues might be caused by another underlying condition that can eventually affect other parts of your body. So make sure to book that appointment and get that much-needed help.
